The Mama Perspective

I read a sign the other day that said:

You are enough. Keep going.

It got me thinking about my worth as a person – a mum, wife, friend etc. I want to practice self-love more. I find it so easy to look in the mirror and notice a flaw or put myself into a ‘mode’, telling myself I could’ve done something better/differently.

I read so many posts on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook related to motherhood. You might have seen them to… your child doesn’t care how you look, how tidy the house is, or if you’ve messed up etc. they care about love. All the cuddles, giggles, new firsts and shared experiences help me more than he knows. Since being a mum to Freddy, a lot of things in life have been put into perspective. Friendships, work life, priorities, the list goes on. And the truth is, how Freddy sees me is the most important part. I don’t want him to see a constantly worried, stressed, or tired mum. Obviously I’m some or all those things at times. But I know that he needs to see happy mummy, to be his safe place, and someone he can count on.

Looking for the positives in tough situations can be hard. Take the other week for example, Freddy was covered in chickenpox. He wasn’t too bad in himself but was obviously confused as a two year old what was going on. The itchiness, spots, and tiredness combined suddenly hit and he didn’t understand. But out of that situation brought something good. He used the potty for the first time and a few times more. He hasn’t shown much of an interest since but it’s a start.

The three of us (me, his dad, and Freddy) had a lack of sleep and energy. Yet, Freddy still continued to do something to put a smile on our face and bring the light back. So, that was a reminder, whenever I get through something, no matter how big or small, I am capable and better days will come.

A lot of how I feel is often down to not believing in myself. As important as my role is as a wife, daughter, friend etc. for me, it all comes down to being a good mum. The days are long but time is short. I want to make the most of the small moments. Whether that be Freddy using the potty, clapping and shouting YAY when he’s happy, to watching him grow every day. Whenever I start to doubt myself, I am going to say “I’m Freddy’s mum and this the best gift and accomplishment combined.”

I’ve been asked, quite a few times now, “Would you have another (child)?” To which I’ve answered “Yes! Definitely yes!” without hesitation. The tiredness and loss of my identity here and there will never overpower the love for a little person I’ve created. I’ll count my lucky stars if I’m ever blessed with another little boy or girl.

Here’s to believing I can in a world consumed by what’s right and wrong in the media/social platforms/and other people, when it comes to being a mum. I might not always get everything else right but there’s one thing I’m certain of, loving my son unconditionally. He will always bring the brighter side of life out for me.