The Mama Perspective | Mum Blog

When I became a first time mum, I had no clue what I was doing, I had a lot to figure out, but being a mum came naturally to me in my own way. Not everyone will agree with my parenting style, but as the mum of my child, what works best for me and my son is what matters most. Luckily, my husband and I are on the same page. Even before Freddy and his little brother, who will join us in a few months, we’ve always shared a similar outlook on life – I wouldn’t have married him if we didn’t!

Here are some things I’ll never say sorry for as a parent.

Doing what makes my son happy

It’s not about spoiling him or being overly soft. I know when to take a stern approach and say “no” when needed. But beyond that, my son gets all the love and cuddles he wants. Sometimes, doing what makes him happy means playing the next marble run video on the TV; other times, it means finding his daddy so he can pretend he’s a slide, a climbing frame, or anything else his imagination dreams up. And, of course, he’ll always say, “Mummy, save me!” as he pretends to get stuck.

Not conforming to social trends

I won’t do something for my son just because it’s what every other mum is doing or promoting on social media. Our version of happiness is seeing our son smile when he sees his mummy and daddy, building marble runs, singing songs, reading his favourite book, and putting car tracks together. While this might differ from other parents, another example is, he doesn’t get fancy balloon displays for Easter or Christmas simply because he doesn’t know any different. He’s a boy who just wants to be happy with his family, his friends, and to learn every day.

Not making my son visible to you

If you want a relationship with Freddy, then you make that be whatever you want it to be. If you don’t get in touch that’s not on us as parents, it’s on you. If you don’t want to message to simply wish him a happy birthday or ask how he’s doing, again that sits with you. We all make choices at the end of the day and if Freddy isn’t one of them, that’s fine. He understands who the important people in his life are.

Choosing my son over anyone or anything

There’s no question about it – Freddy always comes first. He is at the heart of every decision I make, alongside his daddy. We both play an active role in his life, and I don’t agree to the idea that “mums do more” because, honestly, I don’t relate to that. It might be the case for some mums but not for me. Yes, I’m always running around the house doing something – that’s just who I am, even before parenthood. But I still have my own life. I may not want to go out all the time, but I love the life I’ve built and the small circle of people in it. The same goes for my career. I’ll always want to grow and improve, and thankfully, I’m in a position where that’s possible. But no matter what, my little family will always come first. Everything I’ve ever dreamed of is here.

Saying no

Oh, this is a big one for me and I’m still learning. Saying no isn’t something that’s come easily to me in the past nor have I actually said it because I always wanted to be a people pleaser. But since becoming a mum, I’m seeing more and more that saying no is okay. I don’t have to validate my reasons, even though often it feels like I should. Now, I set boundaries to protect not only my family but my own mind. And it’s made a huge difference.

What are the things you will never say sorry for as a parent?