The Mama Perspective | Mum Blog

I’m becoming tearful quite a lot and have cried on a few occasions. I’m panicking a little bit now about how I’m going to cope as a mum with two children. Obviously I’m not alone because I have my husband but I still can’t help but wonder how I’m going to cope emotionally and mentally. Already, before baby is born, I’m feeling overwhelmed just at the thought of people visiting; people might be wondering if they can see me in hospital or come round to the house. There’s going to be a big change that me, Danny and Freddy need to adjust to as a family once we do welcome our second child into the world first.

Perspectives and wants are allowed to change to do what’s best for me

Take not having a baby shower as another example. I’ve had a few people ask why I don’t want one or why I don’t want to do anything that’s similar. The truth is simply because I don’t want to. I know things aren’t always the same the second time around but I didn’t overly enjoy my first one. I spent too much time considering other people’s feelings and I even ended up in hospital later than night with high blood pressure – something I already have outside of pregnancy so you can imagine the unnecessary stress it caused.

But really, it’s more that I want to make all the time I can for Freddy. I’m feeling pretty guilty of getting a short fuse with him recently because of how tired and irritated I feel. I can’t always explain it but I told myself I’d be okay. I think it’s hit me now that I am going to need some support and people will have to respect my choices. A few people are excited about celebrating the new baby to be born; whilst I am trying to be the best I can for Freddy right now. It’s about making sure he, baby and me are okay. Celebrating can come later. Why am I always the person who feels like I have to validate my feelings or reasonings for the choices I make for me?

A reminder to myself for right now and the future

I know it’s important to take care of myself – physically, emotionally, and mentally. I’m learning to hesitate less when it comes to leaning on Danny especially as he’s the one person who knows me inside out. Even though this transition might be challenging at times, I know I’m a strong person, even if there are days full of tears more than others. I will get through this change and continue to give all the love I can for both of my children. It might not feel like it right now but I know between all the ups and downs, everything will be okay.

The love I have for Freddy isn’t going anywhere. In fact, it’ll probably get even stronger seeing the relationship that him and his brother are going to share. He’s already showing a lot of love to bump and saying “Good morning” or “Hi” each day. Throughout this whole pregnancy, I’ve done my best to include Freddy and refer to baby as “Freddy’s baby brother.”

The best is yet to come.