The Mama Perspective | Mum Blog

Parenting styles have changed a lot. If you’re a new parent, chances are you’ve already heard some version of “We didn’t do all that in my day.” Whether it’s car seats, safe sleep, or formula prep, the older generation tend to be confused by how if you’re like me, do parenting nowadays.

So, here’s my light-hearted (slightly sarcastic) take on the things I hear vs. the things I think when it comes to parenting style perceptions. No disrespect, but some of these outdated mindsets are long overdue for the bin.

We didn’t have all this when you were a baby

Yep, times change. And honestly? It’s time to move on (yawn). I usually just smile and say something like, “Well, this is how it is now.” Also, sometimes it’s just how I’d like to parent my child, not necessarily a how it should be done. At the end of the day, it’s me (and their daddy) who have to figure out what works for our family – and that means doing things our own way.

Is he sleeping through yet?

What is the obsession with sleep, oh and weight too?! It’s like babies are picked off a shelf with a checklist: “sleeps through by 3 months,” “weighs X kilos by X weeks.” Seriously?

I don’t sleep through the night so why the big rush for my baby to? Don’t get me wrong – we’ve been luckier with Jack’s sleeping pattern than what Freddy’s was like at this age but it doesn’t mean it’s perfect, and it’ll be what it’ll be.

Oh my [says name of kid] was just like him as a baby

That’s nice? Thanks for sharing, I guess. But honestly, I’m mostly focused on my child. Can’t our babies just be their own little person instead of having to be compared to the similarities of another?

Why is it that whenever your kid is acting up, there’s always someone from an older generation that’ll say something like, “Oh, mine was worse!” Like… thanks, I guess? But in the moment, what I really need is help, not a weird competition. A bit of empathy wouldn’t hurt, you know?

Should he really be eating that?

Or should I say, “Shouldn’t he eat more of this?”

This one’s about my eldest. We’ve always found mealtimes a bit of a struggle and yes, we’ve tried all sorts of techniques. But for him, it’s more than fussiness; it feels like a genuine fear. Sometimes he’ll even put his plate of food in the cupboard just so he doesn’t have to look at it. On his birthday, we let all the kids choose their own party food and he got really upset because all he wanted was cheese and crackers, some fruit, and a bag of Quavers.

I’d love for him to be eating a bit of spaghetti bolognese or scrambled egg on toast with us again, but right now, it just isn’t happening. That said, I’m still happy that he chooses to sit at the table when he eats and that in itself is a small win. I’m learning that while it’s important to gently encourage new foods, a happy child is better than a fearful one.

Oh we didn’t have all these iPads and phones when you were younger

Okay, let’s be honest, we had devices too. For me, it was the Nintendo 64, a shared computer with my brothers, and loads of TV. I used to take Super Mario on adventures, race around in Mario Kart, and spend hours on computer games like Pinball, Minesweeper (random clicking was the strategy!), and Solitaire. Also, my grandad got me a Nokia 3310 and if you didn’t have one to play Snake, you were missing out!

And let’s not forget TV – Recess, Tom and Jerry, Art Attack… absolute classics.

So when I hear comments about “kids these days always on screens,” I can’t help but find it a little hypocritical. We had our screens too, the tech has just evolved. Sometimes I think it’s less about the screen time itself and more about a lack of understanding that technology changes with each generation.

In fact, my son actually uses his iPad a lot for the calculator! He loves numbers and checks sums constantly – it’s something that genuinely excites him. Not all screen time is mindless, and I think we need to stop assuming that it is. Of course, when my son shows sign of feeling overtired or frustrated, the iPad gets taken away or before if we see it coming.

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At the end of the day, I know that sometimes these comments come from a good place. But parenting styles change and I’m doing what works for my family, right now. If only more people would understand that what worked for them doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll work for us.