The Mama Perspective | Mum Blog

Are you a mum who’s trying to do it all? Everything that a mum does can often be overlooked. If we stopped doing everything, would it then be noticed more?

I don’t think you can ever really pause when you’re a mum. There’s always something that needs to be done and if you’re like me – your mind runs overdrive making a mental note of everything to tick off for the day, week, or month!

Right now, things are going pretty well as a mum to two boys. I’m still learning more about myself in this second postpartum period and it isn’t 100% easier but it’s better in certain ways. Though, there’s this expectation that “…because you’ve done it before” it’s better? It’s nicer in some ways, knowing how that each child is different – wanting to be comforted in their own way, different sleep patterns, and sleep schedules. But it’s not a walk in the park. It’s about consistency and trying your best.

Luckily my 15 week old baby is a good sleeper. I probably shouldn’t have typed that as I’ll be cursed now. But on the whole, I manage to get a good night’s sleep and it’s cute when me, him, and his little brother wake up together in the mornings. And daddy too of course, but sometimes Freddy wants his spot in “mummy and daddy’s bed.” I’m reminding myself that one day he won’t to, so I’ll take his presence, so close, right now.

More emotions

The other night I cried, again. I’ve been having a few episodes recently where everything feels heavy. I can’t change what each day brings – that’s motherhood with two boys for you. But I know I can change how I react and know when it’s time to accept that I need some time to myself. The problem is wanting to take the break or getting stressed out about how one is even possible.

Then my husband reminded me he’s here.

Okay, obviously I know he’s here. But it was a reminder more in terms of letting him do more when he can. He works hard, he has more patience that me mostly when our four year old is a lot some days. But still, he doesn’t want to be pushed aside.

I’ve told myself that I have to do things a certain way because if I don’t, Jack might not sleep well at night. In my head I think to myself “We’ve got a good thing going, what if change ruins it?”

I’m talking the way he likes to go to sleep, the way he plays in the day, the way he looks when he wants his dummy, the way he holds my finger to know he’s safe. I don’t want to miss any of it. So, when someone tells me to take a break, half of me feels like I would break and that’s not me being dramatic.

I’m a maternal mum, very much the type to give lots of love and cuddles but I’m also a real mum. I cry, I laugh, I get frustrated, I say sorry, I get tired, I can’t wait for my kids to go to sleep, then I stare at them once they do.

Time to myself

My “break” right now, is at the end of the day. When the house is sitting peacefully, everything’s been tidied and cleaned because I always say “Tidy house, tidy mind,” honestly it’s a thing!

Maybe it should be more, I don’t know. But at the moment, there aren’t many ways around it.

I’m going to the hairdressers this month for the first time in four months and I cannot wait. A bit of me time plus doing something that might make me feel better about how I look, will help me surely. Danny even said, “I’m not taking you to the hairdressers this weekend.” And I wasn’t even mad because straight away I knew he meant, “You can have a little walk to and from the bus stop, and little to music from your AirPods during the journey.”

That might sound like nothing to some people, but for me, this mum right here – it means so much. And music always helps to relax me or make my mood more upbeat.

So, yeah, it turns out I’m surviving and thriving depending on the day!

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Are you a mum who’s ever felt this way? What have you learned to do to help yourself?