The Mama Perspective | Mum Blog

The moments of a big brother welcoming his little world into his world can be hard at first but it’s also heartwarming. 

Ever since we found out we were pregnant and the time was right to break the news to Freddy, he was so excited to become a big brother. Although I don’t think he quite understood what it actually meant to be a big brother. I’ll be honest – parts of me and Danny (probably me for the most part) were a little worried. Will Freddy feel left out? Less important? Less loved? Will be want to love his baby brother?

But to our surprise – from the day Jack was born and Freddy came to meet him in hospital, he came him a little teddy bear. He was a little quieter than usual because I think the realness of Jack actually being here in Freddy’s world was a shock even know he knew he was coming, he didn’t quite know what to expect.

Since we came home just over five months ago now, Freddy has helped to make bottles, change nappies, comfort Jack (giving him is dummy, saying “it’s okay Jack”), he kisses him and says night night and sweet dreams. He doesn’t always want photos or to be told how to interact with Jack becusss he wants to find his own ways – that’s exactly what he’s doing. It isn’t always picture perfect or “instagramable” but it’s everything. 

The fact I longed for two children and now have two boys to grow together, to hopefully become best friends in the future, reminds me to count my lucky stars every single day.

I have a lot of tough days – some that I feel will break me but I have to remember that they won’t. I’ve come too far in motherhood and learned a lot about myself as a young woman to let that happen. I cry and I lose it sometimes. I know I’m not perfect. 

And that’s the thing – it isn’t about perfect photos to capture the “perfect moments” like smiling for the camera in sync, though it’s nice when that does happens. It’s about the small, natural moments that no one else sees.

It’s the quiet giggle when Freddy makes Jack laugh and the way his face lights up to follow everything his big brother does. It’s the mess, the noise, the tears, and the cuddles that somehow make everything okay again.

The fact that Freddy knows different ways to settle Jack shows how much he’s watching and listening, and really wants to help him. My heart melts.

Learning as I go

Motherhood, for me, has never been tidy or predictable. I think that’s why I’ve struggled at times. I’m a tidy person and I like order!

It’s learning as I go, forgiving myself when I fall short, and finding a way to handle the chaos. Watching Freddy step into his big brother role has shown me that love doesn’t always need to be taught. Sometimes, it just grows naturally, in its own imperfect way.

There will be days when I’ll still worry about whether I’m doing enough, giving enough, being enough. But then I see the two of my boys together, and I’m reminded that I’m doing okay even if I don’t feel it every day. 

Because this is what it’s all about – the real – messy but beautiful moments that make our little family what it is.