The Mama Perspective | Mum Blog

Jack is 9 months old now and it’s officially the end of my maternity leave. I’m happy but a little sad too. I always thought Freddy taught me everything I never knew about motherhood until I held him in my arms. And while that has some truth to it, there’s still been so much learned since welcoming Jack into the world. He’s taught me that my heart has room for him and his big brother, that emotions will always be up and down, but most of all, reminding me that my boys are everything I’ve dreamed of.

So, while I head back to work soon (holidays owed to take first), the part of me that’s a little scared of picking up not where I left off, but returning as a mum of two with a great deal of wonder and I’ll admit, feeling anxious. I’ll hold onto a picture of my boys in my mind. They’ll always be my reason.

Because this time around has been different. Not easier, not harder – just fuller. Fuller days, fuller laundry baskets, fuller conversations, fuller hearts. I’ve learned how to nurse a baby while building Lego towers. I’ve learned that sleep deprivation hits differently when you also have a school run. I’ve learned that guilt doesn’t divide between two children – it doubles – but somehow so does the joy.

Jack has been my gentle reminder to slow down. As a second baby, he’s slotted into our lives with the calmest little smile, happy to watch the chaos unfold around him. He’s taught me to appreciate the “lasts” in a way I couldn’t with Freddy – the last maternity leave, the last first weaning spoonful, the last time I’ll rock a baby this tiny in the middle of the day with nowhere else to be.

And Freddy, well, he’s taught me that watching your child become a big brother is one of the most heart-bursting privileges there is. Seeing him comfort Jack, make him laugh, proudly introduce him as “my baby brother”, it’s like witnessing a whole new chapter of love unfold in front of me.

Going back to work feels different this time. I’m not just returning as me. I’m returning as a mum of two. My priorities are clearer. My boundaries feel firmer. I’m proud of my that careers, but these early years? They race by in a blur of muslins, snack pots and school newsletters. I have to present for the moments that matter.

There’s a quiet confidence that comes with second-time motherhood too. I trust myself more. I know that hard days don’t last. I know that comparison is the thief of joy (though I’m still practicing). I know that I can be both ambitious and devoted, driven and present, tired and grateful all at once.

If you’re standing on the brink of the end of maternity leave too, whether it’s your first, second or more, remember it’s okay to feel excited and sad in the same breath. It’s okay to love your job and still wish you could freeze time. It’s okay to feel like you’ve changed because you have. Motherhood reshapes you in the most beautiful, stretching, sometimes uncomfortable ways.

As I close this chapter, I’m not the same woman who went on maternity leave nine months ago. I’m softer in some ways, stronger in others. More patient (most days). More tired (definitely). More certain than ever that my greatest achievement won’t be on a CV, but will be found in kisses, bedtime cuddles and the sound of two little boys calling “Mama/Mummy!”

So, here’s to the next season – to the nursery bag and school bag packed the night before, to calendar juggling, to early alarms and evening cuddles. Here’s to doing my best in both worlds, even when it feels messy.

Because at the end of every day, no matter how busy, how overwhelming, how loud, I’ll come home to my boys. And that is everything.