The Mama Perspective | Mum Blog

I’ll never try to be the perfect mum because, let’s be honest, what exactly does one of those look like and behave like? If you ask me – it doesn’t exist. And as someone who can be a perfectionist in some aspects of my life, I know getting everything right in motherhood just isn’t possible. I’d be working myself into the ground and probably feeling pretty unhappy if perfection was the standard I set for myself.

Instead, I want to be a real mum. The kind who tries her best, learns as she goes, and understands that some days will feel like a win while others will feel like complete chaos – and both are completely normal.

I want to work, too – not because I want to be away from my boys, but because I want them to see that you can love your family deeply and still have passions, goals and ambitions of your own. I don’t believe my career has to come to a halt if I’m in the fortunate position where it doesn’t need to. I want my boys to grow up seeing that balance, understanding that loving your family and loving your work can exist side by side.

More than anything though, I want them to grow up surrounded by kindness. I want them to see it, feel it and show it to others. The world can be tough enough as it is – if they leave our home knowing how to treat people with empathy and compassion, I’ll feel like I’ve done something right.

Of course, that doesn’t mean I’ve got everything figured out. Far from it.

There are things I’m always trying to work harder on as a mum:

• Being more patient. The constant “mum… mum… mum…” can test anyone, but I want my boys to feel heard even in the middle of the busy moments.

• Learning to prioritise time. See those crumbs on the floor? I’ll stop everything to get them – even if there are a million other things that probably matter more. I’m still learning that sometimes the mess can wait, but the moment can’t.

• Being more present. Putting my phone down for a while longer, stepping away from the to-do list and actually being in the moment with them.

• Letting go of mum guilt. Whether it’s working, needing a break, or simply not having the energy to do it all – I’m learning that guilt doesn’t make me a better mum, it just makes me a more exhausted one.

• Showing them that mistakes are normal. Because if they grow up thinking kids and adults never get things wrong, they’ll feel like they’ve done something wrong when they do and might feel scared/upset to tell me.

I’ll always try to be myself as a mum. And sometimes that means getting it wrong. Sometimes it means losing my patience or snapping when I’m overwhelmed. But I’m human, and one thing I’ll always do is say sorry when I’ve overreacted in the heat of the moment.

I actually think that matters more than pretending to get it right all the time. Our children don’t need perfect parents – they need honest ones.

Sometimes my mind feels completely out of control, you know? Overloaded with mental lists, worries, reminders and the constant background noise of motherhood. The overthinking creeps in and suddenly I’m questioning everything – did I handle that right? Should I have done that differently? Am I doing enough?

And when that happens, I try to remind myself of something simple.

My boys don’t need a perfect mum. They need a mum who loves them loudly. A mum who shows up. A mum who keeps trying.

So the mum I’ll always try to be is the one who will always have my boys’ backs. The mum who laughs with them, apologises when I it wrong, works hard, loves with my whole heart and keeps learning every single day.