The Mama Perspective

The school summer holidays always look so different when you’re looking at them from the outside. Six weeks of sunshine, days out, ice creams, lazy mornings, family time and making memories.

Lovely, right? Well… yes. And also, not really.

As a mum of two boys – one in primary school and one at nursery – I’ve found these summer holidays far from easy to manage.And as August comes to an end, I think I’m finally ready to admit just how much of a juggle it has actually been.

The reality of the school summer holidays when both parents work full time

Both my husband and I work full time. And we’re incredibly grateful that we can both have careers we enjoy, earn money and build the life we want for our boys.

But the school summer holidays have a funny way of making you realise just how much you usually rely on routine.

During term time, there’s school. There’s nursery. There are predictable days and predictable hours. Then suddenly, the school gates close for six weeks and you’re left thinking:

How are we going to make this work?

We’ve been incredibly lucky with the childcare we have had. Our youngest, Jack, has been able to have one day at nursery each week outside of his usual term-time allocation. My mum has also looked after the boys for two days each week.

We’re so grateful for both. But that still leaves three days a week.

Three days of trying to work from home or get to the office without feeling guilty with two children around.

And if you’re a working parent, you’ll know exactly what I mean when I say that working from home with children is not quite the peaceful, productive set-up it sounds like on paper.

Working from home with children during the summer holidays

There have been meetings. Lots of meetings. There has been noise. Constant noise.

“Mummy.”

“Daddy.”

“Come here!”

“Can you play with me?”

“Look at this!”

“I’m hungry.”

“Where are you going?”

And then there’s the inevitable moment when you’re sat at your desk, trying to concentrate on something important, while simultaneously listening out for what is happening in the rest of the house.

You don’t want to ignore them. You don’t want to say “just a little while longer” for what feels like the hundredth time. But sometimes you have to. Because work still needs to be done.

And that’s one of the hardest parts of being a working mum during the school holidays.

You’re physically there. But you’re not always available. And somehow, that can make the mum guilt even worse. The summer holiday mum guilt

I’ve felt guilty throughout these summer holidays.

Guilty that I haven’t done enough. Guilty when I’ve had to work. Guilty when one of the boys has asked me to play and I’ve had to say no. Guilty when I’ve left the house and seen that sad little face watching me go, even though I know they’re going to have a brilliant day. Guilty when I’ve been working from home and haven’t been able to give them my full attention.

And then guilty for feeling guilty.

Because, really, I know how fortunate we are. My boys are loved. They’re cared for. They’ve had days with their grandparents, days at nursery, days with us and days filled with things they’ve enjoyed. They’re happy. They’re safe. They might be a little grumpy at times but they’re okay.

So why does the guilt still creep in?

Maybe because there’s this expectation that school summer holidays should be magical. That we should be filling every day with activities. That we should be making endless memories. That our children should look back on their summer and remember nothing but fun. But perhaps that isn’t what summer holidays have to be. Perhaps sometimes summer is simply about getting through the juggle.

We don’t have a village – and I think it’s important to say that There’s a phrase you hear a lot as a parent:

“It takes a village.” And I completely understand the sentiment. Having people around you who can help, support you, pick up the slack and be there when you need them is an incredible thing.

But not everyone has a village. We don’t.

We have my mum, and we are incredibly lucky to have her. But beyond that, there isn’t a big network of family members who can regularly step in and help with childcare. And I think there’s something quite important about saying that out loud. Because sometimes parenting can feel like a constant exercise in trying to make everything work with the resources you have.

You make the childcare arrangements. You compare calendars. You work around nursery hours. You move meetings. You work early. You work late. You work from home with a child asking you to play. And somehow, you get to Friday. Then you do it all again the following week. And then, somehow, August arrives

But here we are. The end of August.

And somehow, we’ve made it. The school summer holidays are almost over.

Our biggest boy is getting ready to go into Year One. Year One. I’m still not quite sure how that happened. I know, logically, that this is how childhood works. They grow. They learn. They change.

But knowing that doesn’t make it any easier.

My heart actually hurts a little when I look at him and realise just how quickly he’s growing up. His voice is changing. He’s getting taller. His little face is changing. He’s learning more every day. He’s becoming more independent. His manners are developing. His personality is growing. He’s becoming more and more of his own little person.

And I look at him and think: Where did my baby go? It feels like yesterday that he was tiny. And now we’re talking about Year One. And the funny thing is, I know this is only the beginning.

There is so much more change to come. More school years. More learning. More independence. More milestones. More moments where I’ll probably wonder how he got so big so quickly. And then, of course, we get to experience it all over again with our youngest boy.

The end of summer holidays and the return to routine

As much as I’ve loved having more time with the boys, I think I’m ready for routine again. I’m ready for the school runs. The nursery drop-offs. The packed bags. The predictable weekdays.

The feeling that everyone knows where they need to be and when. I’m ready to get back into the swing of things.

But I also know I’ll probably miss the slower mornings. The extra cuddles. The days where we haven’t had anywhere to be. The little moments that wouldn’t have happened if we were rushing from one place to another.

That’s the strange thing about the school summer holidays. You can be completely exhausted by them and still feel sad when they’re over. You can desperately need the routine while simultaneously wishing time would slow down.

You can crave a quiet working day and then feel emotional when your children head back through the school gates. Maybe that’s motherhood. Wanting two completely opposite things at exactly the same time.

So, how have the summer holidays really been? Honestly? Hard. Exhausting. Fun. 

A juggle. A lot of working. A lot of childcare logistics. A lot of “Mummy, can you…?” And a lot of guilt that probably wasn’t necessary in the first place. But we’ve made it.

And maybe that’s enough.

We didn’t create the perfect six-week summer. We didn’t entertain the boys every minute of every day. We didn’t have endless family days out. We worked. We relied on the childcare we had. We asked for help where we could. We did our best. And our boys have been happy.

As September approaches, we’re going to find our rhythm again.

We’ll get back into the school and nursery routine. We’ll find our mornings. We’ll find our evenings. We’ll work. We’ll parent. We’ll probably still feel guilty sometimes.

And we’ll keep reminding ourselves that we’re doing all of this for them, too.

Because behind the meetings, the childcare arrangements, the school holidays and the endless juggling is the reason we do it all:

to build a happy, secure life for our boys.

And as I watch my biggest boy get ready for Year One, I think there’s one thing I want to remember from this summer. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. Sometimes, simply getting through it together is enough.