The Mama Perspective | Mum Blog

Since a young age, probably around my teenage years, I’ve always been a people pleaser. I’ve been very sensitive to hurting other people’s emotions and doing anything other than what they ask of me. But up until not that long ago, to be honest, I started to see things differently.

Once me and Danny bought a house to call our own, started to build our own little family, and got married, everything we dreamed about became our reality. And all of those aspects are the best part of our relationship yet. But it hasn’t just been about doing what makes us happy as a couple, it’s also meant focusing on what makes us happy as parents and what makes our son (and second son to be) happy in this world. And you can guess where it starts? With how I’m feeling about myself.

It’s time for me to control my own happiness rather than through the ways other people see or treat me. For so long, I defined my worth through the lens of others – how they felt, what they thought, what they needed. But since becoming a mum, I’ve realised that my happiness can’t depend on that anymore. If I’m not happy within myself, how can I show up as the wife, mum, and the person I really want to be?

I’ve learned that putting myself first isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to take a step back. It’s okay to prioritise my own wellbeing. Because when I’m at my best, the most important people around me – my family, benefits too. I can’t pour from an empty cup, and it’s time to fill mine with the things that matter to me.

Choosing happiness, above all else, always wins. It has an affect on every part of me, emotionally and physically. Choosing to be happy isn’t just about feeling good; it creates a ripple effect in relationships, careers, and our overall wellbeing. It’s amazing how taking control can change so much on your perspective on life.

I’ve also realised that chasing other people’s approval often leads to nothing but hurt and upset, especially when it’s a never ending cycle. No matter how hard you can try to make other people happy, there will always be someone who is willing to criticise your way of doing something. But by choosing happiness, it shows the authentic you. And that’s something that can never be taken away once you really focus on it. Choosing ourselves first isn’t just the best thing we can do for us because it’s the best thing we can do for the ones we love too.

It’s easier said than done but I’m trying harder to let go of the need to please everyone, and now deciding to choose my own happiness.