The Mama Perspective

Yesterday I shared a post on Instagram about juggling being a mum, wife, full-time worker, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I’ll put my hands up and admit that I’m not perfecting in all of these, or even any to be honest.

This morning, I read an article about friendships changing as you get older – your circle gets “smaller but stronger”. And today, I can completely resonate with that. I was sat chatting to my husband last night when Freddy had an early night. I scrolled through Instagram as you do, seen a few posts of groups of friends on nights out, and others from people who now feel like strangers in my life.

The truth is, I’ve learned that it’s natural for friendships to fade. I believe there was a purpose to have certain people be a part of my life that might not be so significant now. And that’s okay. Sometimes it’s for the better, for me and for them because our lives and commitments have changed.

Maybe it’s because I’m a mum or I didn’t try hard enough to go out as much as I used to. But being a mum is everything to me and I’d rather work harder at that than trying to fit into crowds that no longer suit me. Perspectives have shifted as time has passed. I can count the number of friends I have on one hand. I don’t mean people I can have a friendly conversation with or go for a drink with. That’s what it used to be about. But now, it’s knowing that those things in common don’t exist anymore. My priorities and outlook on what life is about has changed.

You could also say I’m at a point in my life where I just don’t have the time or energy to pursue something that isn’t meant to be anymore. No drama. A quieter life.

I used to think weekends were for looking more attractive than I seen myself looking during a typical working week. Or, having to do something that everyone else was doing. Call me ‘boring’ but I want to love the life I live and if that means more nights in than out, so be it. I have a husband and a son. And if doing nothing some days with them makes me happy, I count myself lucky for all those moments.

I’m no longer scared of looking like a ‘loner’ from the outside. I don’t care if I’ve changed in a way that people don’t like. The life I’m living is for me and my little family. I couldn’t want anything more. And I’m so grateful to have the few friends, the ones who just get it without any judgement, who are always there. The ones that do what they do because it’s in their nature to be genuine people.

My inner circle has changed but I know now that it’s for all good reasons. Here’s to showing love to the friends who have stayed in my life because they’re supposed to be there. And knowing that making friends with someone who can make a difference in your life happens when you least expect it to.