The Mama Perspective

I’ve never been the most confident person in the room but little did I know that I had more confidence back a few years ago than I do now. Today, I’m insecure most days and a lot of that is down to my body image and how I perceive myself. I don’t like what I see when I look in the mirror and I know it’s down to me to make a change. I struggle losing weight, especially the ‘belly pouch’ I’ve kept since becoming a mum. I’ve picked up bad eating/snacking habits – sometimes overindulging and other times not eating the right food or enough of what’s good for me.

I’ve been struggling with my body confidence since becoming a mum. If I’m being completely honest, it’s something that I’ve struggled with even before pregnancy. But not like this. I feel a bit embarrassed sometimes that I’m over 2.5 years into motherhood and I feel like this. Aren’t mums supposed to feel more like themselves after 1.5-2 years? That’s what I keep reading anyway. It’s like we’re just supposed to bounce back. Most days I don’t feel pretty but it does feel good if I’m out for a special occasion and I dress up to feel more girly.

Before motherhood, I had moments of doubt about my body, but looking back, I realise I had more appreciation for it than I do now. But now, I find myself constantly scrutinising how I look, picking apart every flaw.

Weight has become my nemesis, and I know that I look bigger than I did before. Clothes that once made me feel confident now hang differently, and nothing seems to flatter my shape anymore. I barely understand what my dress sense is these days.

But putting all insecurity about my body aside, I’m trying to remind myself that my worth is not defined by the number on the scale or the size of my jeans (when I can squeeze into them). I’m trying to be kinder to myself even though I don’t always find it easy to do. I want to celebrate the journey my body has been through – pregnancy, childbirth, and now, the demands of being a mum.

I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that my body may never be the same as it once was, and that’s okay. It’s a constant work in progress. And while there are days when I still struggle to as confident as I used to be, I’m reminded of the incredible life I’ve brought into this world. My gorgeous son.

I suppose it’s okay to have moments of doubt and insecurity, but the more you hold onto those thoughts, it can destroy every ounce of confidence one bit at a time. I know I’m strong, but beautiful isn’t something I can say I feel. I love my food and snacks too much! I know I need to do better. My self esteem is downhill but I hope it comes back one day. I’m starting to feel the benefits of being more active, I’ve just got to stick at it.