The Mama Perspective | Mum Blog

Becoming a mum to my son, Freddy, has been one of the toughest yet most amazing experiences of my life. It’s opened my eyes to the importance of taking care of my own mental health amidst all things related to being a mum, especially for the first time.

From the moment I saw those two pink lines on the first pregnancy test I took, I felt something new. A pure, new kind of love. I remember Danny suggesting we buy a Clear Blue test just to be sure. Our eyes lit up as the second test confirmed I was 100% ‘pregnant’. From that day on, our baby, though not yet brought into the world, was always going to come first.

He is a part of everything we decide to do; whether aspiring to grow at work or deciding whether or not to take part in certain social activities, because if Freddy needs us, he comes first. And most importantly, learning what it means to be happy. I spoke about this in a previous blog post; sometimes it means just sitting at home as a family of three.

For me, becoming a mum has been one hell of a journey in finding myself again. My perspective has shifted; that’s a positive thing, seeing who and what is most important. But I feel like many parts of me needed to be reinvented. My body image, my patience, and most importantly, my self-esteem. I no longer doubt that I’m a good mom, but I do struggle with how I see myself today compared to when my body was growing during pregnancy and before that.

When my son came into the world, my heart was immediately filled with love, but I also felt the weight of responsibility. Those sleepless nights, nappy changes, and constant worry took off making sure he was okay took its toll on me. I think was mainly because I didn’t know what the right or wrong thing was or if I could better. But now, I’m sure that as Freddy’s mum, the saying “Mum always knows best” is true.

Maternal mental health isn’t talked about enough. We’re expected to recover after the 6-week check up and when we’re asked if we’re okay, I don’t know about you but I didn’t really know what I was feeling. It was such a small period of time to know whether I was okay or not. The truth is, it’s hard. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or sad sometimes. There are so many adjustments for women to make when becoming a mum, returning to work being the biggest one. Having a supportive network helps though.

Having a son has taught me that I need to take care of myself too. It’s not selfish to ask for help or take a break when I need it. By looking after my own mental wellbeing, I’m better able to be there for my son and give him the love and support he needs.

Talking about my motherhood journey openly and honestly with my small circle of mum friends helps me. They get it. And I think it’s important to also have support available from others, giving mums the support and resources they need to thrive while finding themselves again. When we’re happy and healthy, it helps our kids to be too!

The Mama Perspective will continue to raise awareness and share experiences of maternal mental health. And the message from this post is to remember that it’s okay not to be okay sometimes.

Please get in touch if you would like to suggest future topics. Thank you for reading.