The Mama Perspective | Mum Blog

On my last blog post I talked about how I don’t like how I look recently and how it makes me feel. A couple of weeks later, I started to feel a bit silly because I seem to have spent a few days feeling more confident about myself, more upbeat and happy. Then before you know it, the low self esteem returns.

There will be a day or even a week where I’ll feel hungrier than usual. Yes, I’ve been keeping hydrated but I think mid-cycle has something to answer for when it comes to appetite changes. I could be wrong but it seems to be a pattern with me so I’ll go with it. The week I mentioned earlier when I was feeling better about myself, I actually felt happier when I was 4lbs lighter on the scales. But now, I’m sat here thinking about what I can eat next.

As easy as it looks for some people; I actually find looking after my body pretty hard. With everything else around me that I need to focus on and get right, my body doesn’t seem to be a priority. I need to remind myself that my body is important, especially as it holds so many effects on my mind. I just can’t seem to love or even like most parts of me anymore.

Some mornings I’ll look in the mirror and think there’s nothing that can change how tired or ‘meh’ I look today. Maybe it’s part of getting older or it could have something to do with the fact I’m a mum of a toddler.

It’s times like this when I think back to time I spent in therapy. Quite a few sessions were focused on self esteem. I remember keeping a diary of everything I thought about myself. It wasn’t nice when I had to read it back out loud in front of my therapist but there was a reason for that. It taught me a lesson. I was sabotaging every angle I saw in myself. Next to nothing was positive.

Fast forward a month or so later, I started to make it a habit to try to pay myself compliment every now and then. “I am a good mum… I work hard… I love my family… Freddy loves coming to me for cuddles…” and so on.

Time can change so many things. I know my body image is one of those things, especially my weight. I know a healthy weight contributes to good health but it shouldn’t define everything that I am. I’m not the same young girl I used to be. I’m a full grown woman and one that’s birthed a child. What ever happened to focusing on the things that make us happy?

No doubt I’ll continue to fall back into the habit of looking at myself negatively from time to time. But I’ll still keep trying to see myself a different way. It’s to easy to see things from your own perspective, sometimes it’s worth trying to see things differently.