The Mama Perspective | Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

A space for real stories, shared experiences and modern motherhood

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Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • Prioritising My Mental Health as a Mum of Two

    Prioritising My Mental Health as a Mum of Two

    When you become a mum – everything changes. I don’t care who says it doesn’t. Your identity – how you see yourself in the mirror and possibly how others see you too. I know I’m a stronger person since becoming a mum, and even more so since bringing my second son into the world earlier this year. I mean come on, 9 months of pregnancy, labour, and pushing a human being out of me counts towards that right? But it doesn’t stop there. Recovery is hard. It’s mentally and physically draining even when I tried to convince myself otherwise during early postpartum both times round, especially the second time round like, I’ve done this before so I have to okay.

    But here’s what no one really prepares you for – the mental load that hits differently when you’re a mum of two. Suddenly you’re split between meeting the needs of a newborn and still trying to show up fully for your first child, all while attempting to hold on to pieces of yourself. Some days, it feels like I’m juggling emotions, mental notes, and expectations that I didn’t even know existed. The endless lists. And in the middle of it all, there’s me – still a person, still a woman, still trying to figure it all out and trying to look after myself.

    I don’t want to be perfect, I just want to be happy

    For a long time, I pushed my own needs to the bottom of the list because that’s what we’re conditioned to do, right? Be the strong one. The organised one. The present one. The mum who just “gets on with it.” Ugh, I hate that perspective. But the truth is, that only leads me to feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, and disconnected from myself and sometimes even the people I love.

    This time, though, I promised myself something different. I made a conscious choice to prioritise my mental health – as a must. It’s far from perfect but I know I have to keep trying and get the support I need. Because when I take care of my mind, other things become more manageable. I wouldn’t say everything but more things do. I’m a little more patient at times and just feel a bit more grounded. More me? Or maybe a slightly different version of me – one that really is just fine most days. 

    Finding calm in the little moments

    Prioritising my mental health looks different every day. Some days, it’s as simple as stepping outside for five minutes of fresh air. Other days, it’s asking for help without feeling guilty or admitting that I’m not coping and need a moment away from everything before my head feels like it’s going to explode. It’s choosing rest, slowing down, and recognising that my worth isn’t measured by how much I can cram into the time I rarely do have to myself.

    Most of all, it’s learning to tune back into myself – to listen to the signs my body and mind are giving me instead of ignoring them. Motherhood can feel so noisy, but within it, I’m in the middle of finding space to breathe again. And that, to me, is something positive.

    I’m still figuring it out. I’m still learning how to balance being a mum and being a woman with my own needs. But I do know this: putting my mental health first doesn’t make me less of a mum. It makes me a better one. I really do believe in the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” You’ve got to fill that cup up to give yourself the energy and happiness you need.

  • The First Six Months as a Mum of Two

    The First Six Months as a Mum of Two

    Somehow, we’ve already arrived at the six-month mark with Jack, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around how quickly time is moving. It feels like only yesterday he was this tiny newborn curled up on my chest, and now here we are – introducing foods, moving him into his big-boy cot, and watching him grow into his own little personality. I’ve got a KIT day coming up at work soon, which has stirred up all sorts of mixed emotions. It’s exciting in some ways, stepping back into that part of my life, but there’s also a little sadness that comes with realising just how fast time is passing by. I think every mum understands that tug-of-war between wanting to see their babies grow while wanting to freeze time entirely.

    Jack seems to be in no mood for slowing down though. He wants to be on the go constantly. The minute he’s on the floor, he rolls straight onto his tummy and pushes himself up like he’s ready to take off. He’s so determined at attempting to crawl. It’s so cute seeing his little legs kicking away, his arms stretching forward like he’s reaching for the next big adventure. It’s amazing to watch, even if part of me is whispering, “No, not yet… I’m not ready!”

    What hasn’t changed is how happy he is. He really is the smiliest, most content little boy. He loves his playtime, loves cuddles, and absolutely lights up when he hears nursery rhymes. It often reminds me of his big brother at this age – another little mover who could never keep still. I’m starting to wonder whether we’re raising another future footballer.

    Each day is day busy, full, but they’re also incredibly special. That’s what I’m trying to remind myself. There’s something magical about watching Jack discover the world bit by bit – new tastes, new sounds, and lots of giggles. Every small milestone feels like something to celebrate and a reminder of how lucky I am to witness it all. It also shows me that no matter how big my biggest baby gets, we should never stop celebrating him too. 

    Six months in, I’m emotional, grateful, tired, and proud – especially of Freddy being the kindhearted big brother he’s grown into. Motherhood is such a blend of feelings – happiness mixed with nostalgia, and excitement mixed with a longing for time to slow down. But as I look at Jack growing into his own little person, I’m trying to make the most of the rest of my maternity leave before I won’t get to see his little face all day. Queue the tears… 

  • Six Months Postpartum: Too Soon to Know Who I Am Now

    Six Months Postpartum: Too Soon to Know Who I Am Now

    I’m almost six months postpartum with baby number two, and lately I’ve been wondering who I am now.

    Not in a dramatic, identity meltdown kind of way – more in a quiet, curious sort of way. Like when you catch your reflection and think, I look familiar, but also a little different. Being a mum of two kids does that to you eh? 

    Becoming a mum for the first time changed me in ways I expected – priorities shifted, patience stretched, sleep disappeared. But this time feels different. It’s not just an adjustment; it’s a complete reshaping. The version of me that existed before two children feels a bit blurry now. 

    I don’t know yet what parts of the “old me” will return, or whether I even want them all to.

    Who I’m becoming 

    Right now, I feel like I’m standing in the middle – one foot in the world of motherhood, the other still reaching toward something familiar. I’m still me but some days, I miss the structure and freedom of pre-baby life. Other days, I’m content to be completely absorbed by the small moments that fill these early months. Especially because within the blink of an eye, they are gone. 

    I can feel parts of myself – the one who loves to write, the mum who loves her kids, a marketing manager, but as for the rest? I guess it’s waiting quietly in the background. Not gone, just… paused, I hope. 

    Rediscovery on the horizon 

    Next year, I’ll be returning to work, and I think that transition might help me find pieces of myself again – or maybe even introduce me to stronger version of myself. 

    Something needs to help me bring myself back to the balance, you know? Not because of the job itself, but because it might remind me what it feels like to be me in a different context – one that isn’t entirely defined by motherhood. 

    But for now, I’m still here, living in the in-between.

    Learning to sit in the unknown

    There’s a lot of pressure to “bounce back” – not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. To reclaim who we were before becoming in a mum, whether it’s your first or subsequent child. But I don’t think that’s the goal. Maybe motherhood isn’t about finding the old version of yourself again, but allowing space for a new one to be comfortable in.

    Some days, that thought brings comfort. Other days, it feels like loss.

    Either way, I’m trying to trust that identity isn’t something you lose or find – it’s something you grow into, again and again, as life changes around you.

    As for now… 

    For now, it’s too soon to know who I am becoming, and maybe that’s okay. Maybe this stage – the uncertainty in the middle – is part of the becoming process itself.

    If you’re a mum who has been through this stage before, when did you start to feel like yourself again or did you discover a newer version of yourself instead? 

  • It Isn’t About Picture Perfect Brother Moments

    It Isn’t About Picture Perfect Brother Moments

    The moments of a big brother welcoming his little world into his world can be hard at first but it’s also heartwarming. 

    Ever since we found out we were pregnant and the time was right to break the news to Freddy, he was so excited to become a big brother. Although I don’t think he quite understood what it actually meant to be a big brother. I’ll be honest – parts of me and Danny (probably me for the most part) were a little worried. Will Freddy feel left out? Less important? Less loved? Will be want to love his baby brother?

    But to our surprise – from the day Jack was born and Freddy came to meet him in hospital, he came him a little teddy bear. He was a little quieter than usual because I think the realness of Jack actually being here in Freddy’s world was a shock even know he knew he was coming, he didn’t quite know what to expect.

    Since we came home just over five months ago now, Freddy has helped to make bottles, change nappies, comfort Jack (giving him is dummy, saying “it’s okay Jack”), he kisses him and says night night and sweet dreams. He doesn’t always want photos or to be told how to interact with Jack becusss he wants to find his own ways – that’s exactly what he’s doing. It isn’t always picture perfect or “instagramable” but it’s everything. 

    The fact I longed for two children and now have two boys to grow together, to hopefully become best friends in the future, reminds me to count my lucky stars every single day.

    I have a lot of tough days – some that I feel will break me but I have to remember that they won’t. I’ve come too far in motherhood and learned a lot about myself as a young woman to let that happen. I cry and I lose it sometimes. I know I’m not perfect. 

    And that’s the thing – it isn’t about perfect photos to capture the “perfect moments” like smiling for the camera in sync, though it’s nice when that does happens. It’s about the small, natural moments that no one else sees.

    It’s the quiet giggle when Freddy makes Jack laugh and the way his face lights up to follow everything his big brother does. It’s the mess, the noise, the tears, and the cuddles that somehow make everything okay again.

    The fact that Freddy knows different ways to settle Jack shows how much he’s watching and listening, and really wants to help him. My heart melts.

    Learning as I go

    Motherhood, for me, has never been tidy or predictable. I think that’s why I’ve struggled at times. I’m a tidy person and I like order!

    It’s learning as I go, forgiving myself when I fall short, and finding a way to handle the chaos. Watching Freddy step into his big brother role has shown me that love doesn’t always need to be taught. Sometimes, it just grows naturally, in its own imperfect way.

    There will be days when I’ll still worry about whether I’m doing enough, giving enough, being enough. But then I see the two of my boys together, and I’m reminded that I’m doing okay even if I don’t feel it every day. 

    Because this is what it’s all about – the real – messy but beautiful moments that make our little family what it is.

  • Not for the Scale, But for Me: 100 Days of Choosing Myself

    Not for the Scale, But for Me: 100 Days of Choosing Myself

    Yesterday marked 100 days in a row since I started my calorie counting journey. I haven’t done it to be obsessed with the numbers or lose a drastic amount of weight. Here’s why I did do it though.

    I have an under active thyroid so losing weight is difficult as it is. And I love my food, a lot! Still, I knew there must be something I could do. 

    What made me begin?

    I was around one month postpartum with my second child (Jack) and I was thinking about what I could do this time round to feel better about myself. Now, let me just say, my goal wasn’t/isn’t to look perfect, become drastically thin, or appeal to anyone. It’s about me – how I feel within myself. I wouldn’t say I love myself as much as I used to when I was younger but I’m learning to accept my new body and the person I’ve become since being a mum and battling some low self esteem and anxiety issues over the years. 

    At first, I’ll admit, I probably wasn’t calorie counting in the healthiest way. I was losing weight so much quicker this time round early postpartum that I was weighing myself daily, sometimes twice. I had to see the number going down otherwise I wasn’t happy. Eventually, I told myself to be less harsh and started to weigh myself every other day, then once a week, and now I’m not sure when I last did. But I remember that the number has stayed the time. Maybe I need to try harder? Or my body might just be where it needs to be now? Either way, I feel comfortable in my body. I’m nothing like my 21 year old self – but I’m not supposed to be. I’ve carried and birthed two children and also grown into a woman. 

    Go back a few months ago, I was skipping meals. I was feeling so tired in the evenings that I said I told myself I wasn’t hungry even if I was. Luckily, my husband always knew when I needed food the most. It’s the way to my heart! And he always did his best to get some food down me, if it was tea and toast some nights.

    Calorie counting has helped me realise just how much I love snacks and food as if I didn’t know that already. And when you’re married to another foodie, well, it ain’t half the challenge to improve eating habits. We’ve done it together though which has been good. 

    The more I entered food into the MyFitness Pal app, I was appalled at the calories on screen as if it was lying to me. It was a “What do you meeean?!” kinda moment. 

    Having a calorie deficit and making small adjustments has helped me to reduce the amount of snacks I used to eat daily, be more mindful of what’s going in my body, and also realise the relationship between my food and what that meant in terms of the types of food I thought I wanted. 

    What about staying active? 

    I’m nowhere near as fit as I used to be. Runner me, who? I’ve thought about the gym. I’ve been before, pre-babies, never as an every day goer but mostly on weekends. Then it became an occasional thing once I had Freddy (my first child). And to be honest, this time round, I just haven’t had a feel for it like I thought I would when I hit six weeks postpartum. I’ve taken the time to listen to my body rather than meeting society’s standards for postpartum life and I feel much better for it. It kinda makes me feel sad that I wasn’t this way with Freddy.

    So, after having Jack, I decided to be active in other ways. Chasing two kids around is bound to count as one way, right?! But the other is, walking. It might not sound like much but when your daily steps go from 2-3k to 15k some days, that’s a huge difference. I try to walk wherever I can. And pushing a pram round makes it all the more of a workout! I’m going to miss the benefit of moving around so much when I’m back at work next year so I’m going to try to make the most of it for as long as I can. 

    How am I feeling today? 

    Today, I’m one stone and two pounds lighter since around the 2-3 postpartum mark. Although, I’ve been around this weight for the last couple of months since my thyroid reverted back to hypothyroidism after thyroxine was working overdrive on my body – great!

    You might be wondering why I carried on looking at the food choices I’m making when my weight seems to stay the same now. And it’s because I still care – I want to keep all the hard work I’ve made.

    I’ve learned that taking care of myself doesn’t have to be all or nothing. It’s about progress, not perfection. It what feels good for me. It’s a walk with the pram. It’s making a better food choice, but also enjoying the foods I love because I’m making the better choices first. It’s looking in the mirror and slowly learning to say, “I’m doing okay.”

    If you’re a mum reading this and you’re feeling stuck, tired, or unsure where to begin – just know, you don’t have to do it all at once. Ha, my husband is gonna give me a look for saying that when I struggle to listen to my own words sometimes! Start small. It doesn’t always have to go smoothly. But do it for you.

    Because you deserve to feel good – not for anyone else, but for yourself.