The Mama Perspective | Mum Blog

I didn’t become a calmer mum *on some days* because I got more organised, although that’s something that’s very much in my nature not only as a mum but as the person I was before kids. I’ve noticed that I’ve became a happier mum because I started to become more aware of things I couldn’t let go of at first and I’m trying to be kinder to myself.

It’s the quiet everyday pressures that build up in the background you want to stop, but don’t always really know how to. 

1. I stopped trying to enjoy every moment

Sometimes motherhood is hard, to put it simply. It’s loud, repetitive, and exhausting. Knowing that all days aren’t magical for my boys makes me feel guilty at times. But I’m only human and boundaries can be tested, you know? 

2. I stopped comparing myself to ‘perfect mums’ online

Everyone has their own version of being a happy mum. For some it consists of matching outfits for the whole family or a spotless house. Meanwhile, I’m over here taking deep breathes regaining some my sanity that’s left as I empty the dishwasher again.

When I stopped measuring myself against strangers, I felt lighter instantly.

3. I stopped saying yes when I was already overwhelmed

Playdates. School things. “Quick” favours. I used to say yes out of guilt. Now I say no out of survival.

4. I stopped believing I had to do it all myself

The mental load is real and invisible. Asking for help didn’t make me weak. It made me function as a better mum to my boys. And one person I should never push away is my husband. 

5. I stopped feeling guilty for needing time away from my kids

This one was hard. But I’m not just a mum. I’m someone who enjoys my career. I’m a person who still needs space, quiet, and a bit of identity. Sometimes you have to take a moment to yourself to think, “who am I now?”

6. I stopped chasing a perfectly tidy home

My house looks lived in. Because it is.
Anyone that knows me, understands how I struggle to sit still. So, it’s true to say that this is still a work in progress for me but I’m trying to leave things a little longer rather than expecting myself to do 100s of things at once.

7. I stopped trying to be the ‘gentle, patient mum’ all the time

I still try. But I also snap sometimes. I get overwhelmed. I’m only human and I make sure I say sorry for the moments when I’m feeling everything getting to me at once.

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Letting go of perfection didn’t make me worse, it made me more human.

I didn’t become a better mum by doing more. I became a better mum by letting go of the things that were quietly breaking me.

What’s one thing you’ve stopped doing that made motherhood feel lighter?