The Mama Perspective | Mum Blog

Maternal Mental Health is something close to my heart. It wasn’t until I became a mum that I began to become more aware of my mental health as a mum, but also as the person I’ve grown into over the last decade, or maybe even longer.

Talking about how I feel has never come easily to me. I’ve been the “Yeah, good thanks” kind of person, the one who says “Not bad thanks” when really, my whole head hurts and I feel like everything’s about to crumble.

Maybe you’re reading this and nodding along, because you’ve said those same words too. Maybe “I’m fine” has been your go-to, even on the days that feel anything but.

It wasn’t until I self referred to CBT back in late 2021, a few months after I gave birth to my eldest son, that things started to change. I decided to take the step to talk about how I was really feeling. Again, not just as a mum, but parts of me that hadn’t been spoken about since I was a child and into my teenage years.

A lot of what I felt had been shrugged off, silenced because what better way to manage my feelings than to not say anything at all? 

Well… I was wrong. Not talking eats away at you. It shapes you into the person you think you need to be in order to seem strong on the outside.

But the truth is, speaking up and being brave enough to ask for help is what really makes you a strong person. It isn’t a walk in the park, and by no means is it an easy process. In my opinion, it’s one of the hardest things to face because it’s all about honest conversations and finally saying how you truly feel out loud, without embarrassment or shame. I used to wonder what it would feel like to really talk.

It wasn’t some huge overnight transformation, but slowly I started noticing the difference. I was able to pause, to question my thoughts instead of just accepting them, and to give myself a bit of the kindness I so easily give to everyone else.

Now, I think it’s about taking everything I’ve learned since becoming a mum, putting the pieces of the puzzle together including feelings I’ve carried since I was younger and becoming the positive, strong mum I know I can be. And if that means putting other things, and sometimes other people, aside, then so be it.

I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve had struggles since my second baby was born too. Not just because it’s an additional child in my family but it’s the mental load that comes with it. I’m the type of person who likes to follow checklists and feel happier and calmer when they’re complete. When the adventure that is mum life of two hits you – in my kind of world – it’s so damn hard.

I’m working through it more now though. Healthcare professionals still offer support and it’s nice to now there are options there if I need to consider them again in the future.

You don’t get another shot at raising your children and giving them the childhood they deserve but that doesn’t mean you have to do it perfectly. It just means you deserve support, care, and the space to be the best version of yourself along the way.

And if you’re not there yet, that’s okay too. Even reading this, even thinking about it, that’s a start.

I still go through mental health struggles that no one else sees. I’ve been in a pretty dark place a couple of times. But I know there’s always another side.

A side that’s full of light and hope. I have a lot to be grateful for and my life is full of love from my husband and my boys. To have a man who’s my best friend, listens, and makes me feel seen when I find it hard to love myself, means everything and more. I could write a whole post about him. As much as he’d love that, I guess that’s for another day!

And my boys – mostly wild but always loveable – my little treasures. They remind me that no matter what challenges I face – I was meant to be a mum – their mum. I really do believe that.