The Mama Perspective | Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

A space for real stories, shared experiences and modern motherhood

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Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • You Think I Can’t Be Career Focused Because I’m a Mum? Think Again

    You Think I Can’t Be Career Focused Because I’m a Mum? Think Again

    There seems to be a belief that once you become a mum, your ambition disappears. That your career suddenly becomes less important to you. That your goals, dreams, and professional achievements should quietly take a back seat because motherhood is now your entire identity.

    But here’s the thing, you can love being a mum and love your job. The two are not mutually exclusive. I am incredibly proud to be a mum. My boys are my greatest achievement, my biggest source of love in my life, and the reason behind so much of what I do. Becoming a mother changed me in ways I never expected. It made me stronger, more resilient, more patient, and more determined.

    But it didn’t erase who I was before. I still have passions even though I’m trying to figure out what I enjoy most outside of motherhood and work. I still have ambitions. I still enjoy working. And I don’t feel guilty for that.

    There is often pressure on mums to choose a side. Either you’re fully devoted to motherhood or you’re career-driven. Either you’re at every school event and playdate or you’re chasing professional goals. Why can’t we be both? Why can’t we be loving, present mothers while also enjoying the work we do?

    I enjoy having something that belongs to me outside of motherhood. I enjoy using my skills, learning new things, and building a career that I’m proud of. Working gives me purpose in a different way. It challenges me, helps me grow, and reminds me that I am more than one role.

    That doesn’t make me any less devoted to my children. In fact, I believe it makes me a better role model. I want my boys to grow up seeing a woman who loves her family but who also values her own goals. I want them to know that women don’t have to shrink themselves after becoming mums.

    But let me be clear about one thing – my role as a mum will always come first. Always.

    No meeting, deadline, or job will ever be more important than my children. If they need me, I’m there. If they’re struggling, they come first. If I have to choose between work and my family, I will choose my family every single time. That’s not because my career doesn’t matter. It’s because my children are my priority.

    The reality is that motherhood and ambition can coexist. Loving your career doesn’t mean you love your children any less. Being proud of your work doesn’t take away from being proud of your family.

    We need to stop asking mums to justify why they work, why they enjoy their jobs, or why they have ambitions outside of motherhood.

    We’re allowed to be more than one thing.

    We’re allowed to be mums and professionals. We’re allowed to be nurturing and ambitious. We’re allowed to build careers and build families. And for me, that’s exactly what I’m doing because I love being a mum and I love my job. And I don’t have to choose between them.

    If you’ve read my post, “The Reality of Returning to Work After Having My Second Child“, you’ll know that returning to work after maternity leave brought a mix of emotions and new routines to figure out. This journey has only reminded me what I now know for certain – that I can be committed to my career while remaining completely devoted to my children. The two can exist side by side.

  • From Wondering About Motherhood to Living It Twice

    From Wondering About Motherhood to Living It Twice

    The other day I was watching an episode of One Tree Hill – and if you’re a fan, you already know it’ll always be one of the best series. I’m currently rewatching it and I’m on series 4, the episode where Lucas’ mum gives birth in hospital and Hayley also gives birth to her and Nathan’s little boy.

    Watching it this time around hit me completely differently.

    I started thinking about how, years ago, I used to watch TV shows and films with scenes of pregnant women and births and wonder what that experience would ever be like for me one day, if I was lucky enough. Back then, motherhood felt so far away. It was something I imagined, questioned, and tried to picture in my head without really knowing what any of it would truly feel like.

    And now here I am. A mum to two boys.

    I’ve done the pregnancy part twice. I’ve given birth twice. And even though both journeys led me to becoming their mum, the experiences themselves were completely different in their own ways.

    No Two Pregnancies Are Ever the Same

    I think before becoming a mum, you almost assume pregnancy is one universal experience. That it follows a similar pattern for everyone. But once you go through it yourself, you realise how different every single journey can be, even your own.

    Both of my pregnancies taught me different things. I felt different, coped differently, worried about different things, and experienced motherhood in completely separate ways each time around.

    Even birth itself – something I used to watch on a screen and wonder about – became two entirely unique memories for me.

    It’s strange looking back and realising I once viewed those moments as something so distant and unknown. Now they’re some of the biggest, most life-changing moments of my life.

    Rewatching Shows as a Parent Feels So Different

    Isn’t it funny how rewatching a show years later can unlock emotions you never had the first time?

    Before kids, those scenes were emotional. Now? They feel personal.

    You notice the fear, the love, the panic, the overwhelming emotion in a completely different way because you’ve lived versions of it yourself. You understand the weight behind those moments now.

    And honestly, I think that’s one of the bittersweet things about motherhood – you become a softer version of yourself in ways you never expected.

    From “What Would That Feel Like?” to “I’ve Lived That”

    Sometimes I still sit there and think about how surreal it all is.

    There was a time when I wondered what it would feel like to hold my own baby, to experience pregnancy, to become someone’s mum.

    Now I’m raising two little boys of my own and as hard as some of the days can be – they’ll always be at the heart of everything I’ve ever dreamed of.

  • My Honest Maternal Mental Health Journey

    My Honest Maternal Mental Health Journey

    Maternal Mental Health is something close to my heart. It wasn’t until I became a mum that I began to become more aware of my mental health as a mum, but also as the person I’ve grown into over the last decade, or maybe even longer.

    Talking about how I feel has never come easily to me. I’ve been the “Yeah, good thanks” kind of person, the one who says “Not bad thanks” when really, my whole head hurts and I feel like everything’s about to crumble.

    Maybe you’re reading this and nodding along, because you’ve said those same words too. Maybe “I’m fine” has been your go-to, even on the days that feel anything but.

    It wasn’t until I self referred to CBT back in late 2021, a few months after I gave birth to my eldest son, that things started to change. I decided to take the step to talk about how I was really feeling. Again, not just as a mum, but parts of me that hadn’t been spoken about since I was a child and into my teenage years.

    A lot of what I felt had been shrugged off, silenced because what better way to manage my feelings than to not say anything at all? 

    Well… I was wrong. Not talking eats away at you. It shapes you into the person you think you need to be in order to seem strong on the outside.

    Speaking up is hard but it’s worth it

    The truth is, speaking up and being brave enough to ask for help is what really makes you a strong person. It isn’t a walk in the park, and by no means is it an easy process. In my opinion, it’s one of the hardest things to face because it’s all about honest conversations and finally saying how you truly feel out loud, without embarrassment or shame. I used to wonder what it would feel like to really talk.

    It wasn’t some huge overnight transformation, but slowly I started noticing the difference. I was able to pause, to question my thoughts instead of just accepting them, and to give myself a bit of the kindness I so easily give to everyone else.

    Now, I think it’s about taking everything I’ve learned since becoming a mum, putting the pieces of the puzzle together including feelings I’ve carried since I was younger and becoming the positive, strong mum I know I can be. And if that means putting other things, and sometimes other people, aside, then so be it.

    I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve had struggles since my second baby was born too. Not just because it’s an additional child in my family but it’s the mental load that comes with it. I’m the type of person who likes to follow checklists and feel happier and calmer when they’re complete. When the adventure that is mum life of two hits you – in my kind of world – it’s so damn hard.

    I’m working through it more now though. Healthcare professionals still offer support and it’s nice to now there are options there if I need to consider them again in the future.

    Going back to work has been a big adjustment but one that has proven to be good for me. It’s helping me to get the ambitious, determined me back! And it reminds me that I can combine motherhood and a career. One day at a time, things fall back into place.

    Giving the best version of myself

    You don’t get another shot at raising your children and giving them the childhood they deserve but that doesn’t mean you have to do it perfectly. It just means you deserve support, care, and the space to be the best version of yourself along the way.

    And if you’re not there yet, that’s okay too. Even reading this, even thinking about it, that’s a start.

    I still go through mental health struggles that no one else sees. I’ve been in a pretty dark place a couple of times. But I know there’s always another side.

    A side that’s full of light and hope. I have a lot to be grateful for and my life is full of love from my husband and my boys. To have a man who’s my best friend, listens, and makes me feel seen when I find it hard to love myself, means everything and more. I could write a whole post about him. As much as he’d love that, I guess that’s for another day!

    And my boys – mostly wild but always loveable – my little treasures. They remind me that no matter what challenges I face – I was meant to be a mum – their mum. I really do believe that.

  • Why Maternal Burnout Needs to Stop Being Normalised 

    Why Maternal Burnout Needs to Stop Being Normalised 

    If you’ve ever wondered “why am I so tired as a mum?” Maternal burnout might be why.

    There’s a quiet belief many of us carry as mums that, being exhausted is just part of our role as a mother. We joke about running on coffee. We tell ourselves this is what good mothers do – give everything, all the time, no matter the cost. I was once told that my mind is like an internal processor and I need to try to change it so that I’m adapting to different circumstances and switching up my routine. Have I successful done this? No, not even 50% of the time. It’s not that simple. 

    But here’s the truth we don’t say out loud enough: just because so many mums experience burnout doesn’t make it okay.

    Signs of maternal burnout 

    Burnout isn’t just feeling tired after a long day. It’s deeper than that.

    Maternal burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by a whole lot of stress. It can be:

    • Constant fatigue, even after rest
    • Feeling overwhelmed by simple daily tasks
    • Irritability or feeling numb
    • Losing joy in motherhood
    • Feeling like you’re failing, no matter how hard you try

    Let me tell you, it’s not a personal failure. It’s what happens when too much is expected and not enough support is given. And in fact, when you’re experiencing burnout, your mind tricks you into thinking you can always do more, or do better. 

    Why burnout hits mum so hard

    Motherhood doesn’t come with clock-out times. There are no sick days, no performance reviews, and very little recognition. Being a mum means you’re the planner, the emotional support system, the one who needs to remember everything. This isn’t disregarding the love and support that the dad has for their kids, it’s just that mums can’t always switch off. 

    Some days, mine and Danny’s heads feel like they’re going to explode trying to manage parenthood, work,  and laminating our own relationships.

    The mental load is exhausting.

    How burnout affects your role as a mum

    This is the part many of us feel guilty admitting. Burnout doesn’t make you a bad mum but it does affect how you show up.

    Do you ever snap over the small things? Do you feel your emotions getting on top of you so then you distance yourself from your family? Are the “good” days actually just classed as “okay” days rather than one of the “bad days”? 

    The cycle of exhausted, overwhelm, and pressure (whether it be real or on your mind) never ends. But what do you do anyway? You still keep going. 

    Why do we normalise burnout? 

    Somewhere along the way, we were taught that rest has to be earned and somehow, struggling quietly is strength needed to be a mum. So we carry on or “plod on” as I always say. 

    We tell ourselves that, “Other mums are coping, so I should too.” But what we don’t see is that so many of us are struggling in the exact same way, just silently.

    Motherhood shouldn’t always feel like this

    It’s no surprise that motherhood can be hard. There will be very tiring days. But it shouldn’t feel like you’re surviving instead of living in the moment to soak up memories made with your babies. 

    If your body is telling you your burnout, something usually needs to change. But how easy is that?

    What do mums actually need?

    Instead of more pressure to “get on with it,” mums need real support (not just advice) and honest conversations about how hard this can be. And most importantly, to stop believing that burnout is just part of the role of a mum.

    The mental load of motherhood

    You are allowed to need more than survival.

    You are allowed to feel overwhelmed and to want things to be different. You don’t have to prove your worth through exhaustion. Because being a good mum isn’t about how much you can carry. It’s about how supported you are while carrying it.

  • 7 Things I Stopped Doing as a Mum That Made Me Happier 

    7 Things I Stopped Doing as a Mum That Made Me Happier 

    I didn’t become a calmer mum *on some days* because I got more organised, although that’s something that’s very much in my nature not only as a mum but as the person I was before kids. I’ve noticed that I’ve became a happier mum because I started to become more aware of things I couldn’t let go of at first and I’m trying to be kinder to myself.


    It’s the quiet everyday pressures that build up in the background you want to stop, but don’t always really know how to. 

    1. I stopped trying to enjoy every moment

    Sometimes motherhood is hard, to put it simply. It’s loud, repetitive, and exhausting. Knowing that all days aren’t magical for my boys makes me feel guilty at times. But I’m only human and boundaries can be tested, you know? 

    2. I stopped comparing myself to ‘perfect mums’ online

    Everyone has their own version of being a happy mum. For some it consists of matching outfits for the whole family or a spotless house. Meanwhile, I’m over here taking deep breathes regaining some my sanity that’s left as I empty the dishwasher again.

    When I stopped measuring myself against strangers, I felt lighter instantly.

    3. I stopped saying yes when I was already overwhelmed

    Playdates. School things. “Quick” favours. I used to say yes out of guilt. Now I say no out of survival.

    4. I stopped believing I had to do it all myself

    The mental load is real and invisible. Asking for help didn’t make me weak. It made me function as a better mum to my boys. And one person I should never push away is my husband. 

    5. I stopped feeling guilty for needing time away from my kids

    This one was hard. But I’m not just a mum. I’m someone who enjoys my career. I’m a person who still needs space, quiet, and a bit of identity. Sometimes you have to take a moment to yourself to think, “who am I now?”

    6. I stopped chasing a perfectly tidy home

    My house looks lived in. Because it is.
    Anyone that knows me, understands how I struggle to sit still. So, it’s true to say that this is still a work in progress for me but I’m trying to leave things a little longer rather than expecting myself to do 100s of things at once.

    7. I stopped trying to be the ‘gentle, patient mum’ all the time

    I still try. But I also snap sometimes. I get overwhelmed. I’m only human and I make sure I say sorry for the moments when I’m feeling everything getting to me at once.

    Letting go of perfection didn’t make me worse, it made me more human.

    I didn’t become a better mum by doing more. I became a better mum by letting go of the things that were quietly breaking me.

    What’s one thing you’ve stopped doing that made motherhood feel lighter?