The Mama Perspective

Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

The voice behind the blog

Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • Motherhood, Mental Health and the Possibility of SAD

    Motherhood, Mental Health and the Possibility of SAD

    There are some feelings you never quite forget. The moments when life feels heavier than usual, when your mind won’t switch off, and when you find yourself trying to understand why you’re feeling a certain way, even when you can’t quite put your finger on the reason.

    For me, I’ve started to wonder whether October is becoming one of those times of the year.

    Last October, around five months after giving birth to my second son, I experienced one of my lowest points emotionally. It was a difficult period, and although I can’t say I fully understood everything I was feeling at the time, I knew I wasn’t quite myself.

    Looking back, what’s interesting is that this wasn’t the first time I’d experienced something similar after having a baby.

    When I had my first son, I remember feeling a similar way around three to four months postpartum. Then, after welcoming my second son, I found myself in another difficult place around five months after his birth.

    And now, almost a year after that particularly low period last October, some of those familiar feelings have started to creep back in.

    It’s made me stop and think about whether there could be a pattern here that I’ve never really paid attention to before.

    Could the changing seasons be affecting my mental health more than I realise?

    When familiar feelings return

    I’ve previously been diagnosed with mixed anxiety and depression, and if I’m honest, worrying has always been something I’ve struggled with. My mind can be a busy place. I can overthink situations, get caught up in my own thoughts and sometimes find it difficult to switch off.

    It’s something I’ve had to learn to recognise about myself, and it’s something that doesn’t necessarily disappear just because life is going well.

    Motherhood has brought me so much love and happiness, but it’s also brought its own challenges. Becoming a mum changes so much about your life, from your routines and relationships to your sense of identity and the way you see yourself.

    And when you’re looking after little people who depend on you for almost everything, it can be easy to put your own feelings to one side.

    Sometimes, you don’t even realise how much you’re carrying until things start to feel overwhelming.

    That’s why the return of these feelings has made me reflect. I know what anxiety and low mood can feel like for me, but I also know that every difficult period doesn’t necessarily have the same explanation.

    The fact that I’ve experienced similar emotional lows after both pregnancies, and now seem to be noticing these feelings again around the same time of year, has left me with questions.

    Perhaps it’s coincidence. Perhaps it’s the emotional and physical demands of motherhood. Or perhaps there is something about the changing seasons that I need to understand better.

    Could it be Seasonal Affective Disorder?

    As the days get shorter and the evenings get darker, I’ve started wondering whether Seasonal Affective Disorder, commonly known as SAD, could be contributing to how I feel.

    SAD is a type of depression associated with seasonal changes. For many people, symptoms tend to emerge during autumn and winter, when daylight becomes more limited.

    It’s something I’ve been thinking about more recently because of the timing of my experiences. October has become a month that makes me look back on how I felt last year, and now that some of those emotions seem to be returning, I can’t help but wonder whether the season itself could be playing a part.

    Could reduced daylight be affecting my mood? Could the darker evenings be amplifying feelings of anxiety or sadness that are already there?

    I don’t have the answers, and I don’t want to assume that SAD is the explanation simply because I’ve noticed a possible connection.

    But I do think there’s value in paying attention to patterns in our mental health, especially when those patterns begin to repeat themselves.

    It’s also important to recognise that the timing of my experiences after childbirth may be a separate part of the picture. Postpartum depression and anxiety can affect mothers in different ways, and the demands of caring for a newborn, disrupted sleep, hormonal changes and the adjustment to life with another child can all influence how we feel.

    Perhaps several things have contributed to what I’ve experienced. Perhaps the reasons have been different at different times.

    For now, I’m simply trying to understand my own experiences rather than dismiss them or feel that I should automatically know how to manage them.

    The reality of struggling while being a mum

    One thing I’ve come to realise is that you can love your life and still find parts of it difficult.

    You can adore your children and still feel overwhelmed. You can be grateful for your family and still have days when your mental health feels like a struggle. You can be doing your best to keep everything together while privately feeling as though you’re running on empty.

    I think this is something many mothers experience but don’t always feel comfortable talking about.

    There’s so much emphasis on the beautiful parts of motherhood, and rightly so. There is so much joy in watching your children grow, seeing their personalities develop and experiencing the little moments that make everything worthwhile.

    But motherhood also comes with a mental load that can be difficult to explain. There’s the constant planning, the worrying, the responsibility and the feeling that you’re always needed by someone.

    And sometimes, even when you’re surrounded by the people you love most, you can feel emotionally exhausted.

    For me, having a history of anxiety and depression means I know that my mental health is something I need to take seriously. I can’t always assume that a difficult feeling will disappear if I ignore it or keep myself busy.

    Yet I think it’s easy, especially as a mum, to keep going and tell yourself that everyone has difficult days.

    Sometimes we convince ourselves that we’re just tired, that we have too much on our plates or that things will feel better once we’ve had a little more rest.

    And sometimes those things are true.

    But I also think we need to give ourselves permission to acknowledge when something feels different, when a low mood lingers or when familiar feelings start returning.

    We don’t have to wait until we’re at our lowest point to admit that we’re struggling.

    Looking back at postpartum, and looking at the present

    When I think about those first few months after having both my boys, I wonder how much of what I experienced was connected to the adjustment of becoming a mother again, and how much might have been influenced by my existing mental health.

    Those months after having a baby can be an emotional time. You’re adjusting to a new routine, often functioning on broken sleep, navigating physical changes and learning how to meet the needs of another little person while still caring for yourself and your family.

    Even when you’ve done it before, having another baby doesn’t mean the experience will feel the same.

    And although I experienced similar emotional lows after both pregnancies, I know that doesn’t automatically mean there was one underlying cause.

    What feels different now is that I’m noticing these feelings outside of that immediate postpartum period, and I’m beginning to question whether the time of year might be relevant.

    I don’t want to overlook that possibility, but I also don’t want to jump to conclusions.

    Instead, I want to give myself the opportunity to explore what might be happening, whether that’s through recognising patterns in my mood, paying closer attention to how I’m feeling or speaking to a healthcare professional about the changes I’ve noticed.

    Because understanding your mental health isn’t always about finding one clear answer. Sometimes, it’s about learning to recognise when something isn’t quite right and being willing to ask for help.

    Giving myself permission to slow down

    One of the things I’m trying to remind myself is that I don’t need to have everything figured out.

    I don’t need to know for certain whether the changing seasons are affecting my mood before I take my feelings seriously. I don’t need to wait until things become unbearable before I reach out for support.

    And I certainly don’t need to feel guilty for having difficult days.

    I want to become more aware of my emotional patterns, particularly during the autumn and winter months. I want to pay attention to my mood, my energy levels, my sleep and the things that might make certain days feel harder than others.

    Getting outside in natural daylight when I can, making room for rest and being more open about how I’m feeling are small steps I can take. I also want to speak to a healthcare professional about the feelings that have returned, particularly given my previous diagnosis of mixed anxiety and depression.

    I know that looking after my mental health is just as important as looking after my family.

    It’s easy to forget that sometimes. As mums, we’re so used to checking whether everyone else is okay that we don’t always stop to ask ourselves the same question.

    But we matter, too.

    Our feelings matter. Our wellbeing matters. And we deserve support even when we can’t quite explain what’s wrong.

    A reminder for any mum who feels the same

    I’m sharing this because I know I’m unlikely to be the only mum who has experienced something similar.

    Perhaps you’ve struggled emotionally after having a baby. Perhaps you’ve noticed that your anxiety becomes more difficult to manage at certain times of the year. Or perhaps you’ve found yourself feeling low without fully understanding why.

    Maybe, like me, you’ve started to recognise familiar feelings returning and wondered whether there’s a connection you haven’t noticed before.

    I don’t know yet whether SAD plays a part in my own experience. I’m still working through those questions, and I know that noticing a pattern isn’t the same as having an answer.

    But I do know that I want to be more honest with myself about how I’m feeling.

    I want to stop minimising difficult emotions simply because I’m a mum and life is busy. I want to recognise when I need a little more support, and I want to remind myself that struggling emotionally doesn’t take away from the love I have for my children or the mother I am to them.

    Motherhood is a huge part of my story, but it isn’t the whole of who I am. My mental health is part of that story, too, and it deserves to be acknowledged.

    So, as we move further into autumn and the days become shorter, I’m trying to listen to myself a little more closely.

    Not with judgement, and not with the expectation that I should have all the answers, but with the understanding that my feelings are worth paying attention to.

    Because perhaps the first step isn’t figuring everything out straight away.

    Perhaps it’s simply being honest enough to say, I’m not feeling quite like myself, and I want to understand why.

    And if you’re feeling that way, too, I hope you know you don’t have to figure it all out alone.

    Have you ever noticed a change in your mood as the seasons change, or experienced a difficult emotional period after having a baby?

  • Mental Health Matters: A Reminder That Mums Need Looking After Too

    Mental Health Matters: A Reminder That Mums Need Looking After Too

    For World Mental Health Day, I want to talk about the reality of motherhood, the pressure to keep going, and why looking after our mental health matters just as much as looking after everyone else.

    There is something about motherhood that can make you feel as though you need to be everything to everyone.

    You want to be a patient mum. A loving partner. A good friend. Someone who keeps on top of the house, remembers every appointment, plans the meals, manages the endless to-do list and somehow finds time to look after herself, too.

    And somewhere in the middle of all that, it can become very easy to forget about the person behind the mum. The woman who gets tired. The woman who feels overwhelmed. The woman who sometimes needs a moment to herself, a proper conversation with a friend, or simply a little space to breathe.

    As we mark World Mental Health Day, I think it is important to have honest conversations about mental health and, in particular, the mental health of mums. Because motherhood can be beautiful, rewarding and full of moments you wouldn’t change for the world. But it can also be exhausting, emotionally challenging and, at times, incredibly overwhelming.

    And two things can be true at once.

    The pressure to be the mum who has it all together

    I think one of the hardest parts of motherhood is the expectation, whether it comes from society, social media or even ourselves, that we should somehow be able to do it all.

    We see images of beautifully organised homes, healthy family meals, exciting activities with the children and mums who seem to have endless patience and energy.
    It can be easy to look at those moments and wonder why our own days don’t always look the same.

    But real motherhood doesn’t always look like that. Sometimes it looks like surviving a particularly difficult morning. Sometimes it means choosing an easy dinner because you simply don’t have the energy to cook. Sometimes it means the washing stays in the basket, the house is messy and the only thing you manage to do for yourself is sit down for five minutes.

    And that is okay. We don’t have to earn rest by completing every task on our list. We don’t have to prove that we’re struggling enough before we allow ourselves to slow down. Being a good mum doesn’t mean being endlessly available, endlessly patient or endlessly productive.

    It means being human, too. I’ve come to appreciate the importance of stepping away from the pressure to do everything perfectly and recognising that my own wellbeing deserves attention. Looking after myself isn’t separate from motherhood; it’s part of learning how to navigate it in a way that feels more sustainable.

    When motherhood changes how you feel about yourself

    Motherhood changes so much more than our daily routines. It can change our relationships, our priorities, our confidence and the way we see ourselves.

    You can love your children more than words can explain and still miss parts of the person you were before becoming a mum.
    You can feel grateful for your family and still find yourself longing for more time, more independence or a little more space to reconnect with yourself.

    You can enjoy motherhood and still have days when you feel completely overwhelmed by it. None of these feelings cancel out the love you have for your children. I think we sometimes put so much emphasis on being grateful for what we have that we forget gratitude and struggle can exist together. You don’t have to feel unhappy with your life to acknowledge that parts of it are difficult. And you don’t have to lose yourself completely before deciding that you want to make more room for the things that make you feel like you.

    Whether that means reconnecting with an old hobby, making time for friendships, returning to something you enjoyed before children or simply having a few minutes without anyone needing anything from you, those little moments matter.

    You are still a person with your own needs, interests, ambitions and emotions.
    You haven’t disappeared just because you became a mum.

    Mental health isn’t always obvious

    When we talk about mental health, it is important to remember that struggling doesn’t always look the way we expect it to.
    Sometimes it is obvious that someone is having a difficult time. Other times, they carry on with their usual routines, turn up to work, care for their children, reply to messages and smile when someone asks how they are.

    They might even be the person everyone else turns to for support. But underneath, they could be feeling anxious, emotionally drained, lonely or as though they are running on empty.

    For mums, it can be particularly difficult to admit when things aren’t feeling okay. There can be guilt around asking for help, worrying that others will judge us or feeling that we should be able to cope because other people seem to manage.

    We might tell ourselves that we’re just tired, that things will get easier next week or that we need to get ourselves together.
    Sometimes, of course, we really are just having a difficult day. But when feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, sadness or exhaustion persist, it is important not to dismiss them or assume we simply need to try harder.

    Our mental health deserves the same care
    and attention as our physical health.
    We don’t need to wait until we reach breaking point before we take it seriously.

    Mums need looking after, too

    I recently shared a message on Instagram from a doctor that really hit me. It was a reminder of something that sounds so simple, yet can be so easy to forget in the everyday reality of motherhood: we need to look after ourselves as well as we look after our children.

    As mums, we spend so much of our time thinking about what our children need. We make sure they are fed, dressed, safe, happy and healthy. We notice when they aren’t quite themselves, comfort them when they are upset and do everything we can to help them feel better when they are unwell.

    We are often so tuned in to their needs that we can spot the smallest change in their mood, behaviour or energy.

    But how often do we give ourselves that same attention? How often do we notice that we are exhausted, overwhelmed or struggling emotionally, only to push those feelings aside because there are still lunches to make, washing to put away, work to finish and little people who need us?

    How often do we tell ourselves that we will rest later, take a break another day or focus on ourselves when everything else is done?
    The truth is that, for many mums, everything else is never really done.

    There will always be another task, another responsibility or another person who needs something from us. And if we continually put ourselves at the bottom of the list, it can become difficult to recognise when we need support ourselves.

    Looking after our mental health doesn’t mean putting our children second. It doesn’t mean being less devoted, less present or less of a mum. It means recognising that our wellbeing matters, too.

    Just as we want our children to feel safe talking about their emotions, we deserve to be able to acknowledge our own. Just as we would encourage them to rest when they are tired and ask for help when something is wrong, we need to give ourselves that same permission.

    And just as we would never want our children to believe that they have to cope with everything alone, we shouldn’t expect that of ourselves.

    Sometimes looking after ourselves means making time for something we enjoy. Sometimes it means asking for more help at home, speaking honestly to someone we trust or reaching out to a healthcare professional because things feel harder than usual.

    And sometimes it simply means acknowledging that we aren’t feeling okay, even when we cannot immediately change the circumstances around us. I think this is such an important message to remember, particularly on World Mental Health Day. We talk a lot about caring for our children, and rightly so, but we also need to create space for conversations about the people doing that caring. Because mums aren’t just mums. We are people with our own feelings, needs, worries and limits.

    We deserve to feel supported, not just appreciated for everything we do for everyone else. So, if you need a reminder today, let this be it: you don’t have to wait until you are completely overwhelmed to look after yourself. You don’t have to justify needing a break, and you don’t have to feel guilty for asking for help.

    Your children need care, love and attention. And you deserve those things, too.

    Small ways to look after your mental wellbeing

    I am a big believer that looking after ourselves doesn’t always have to involve grand gestures or a complete lifestyle overhaul. When life is busy, particularly with children, sometimes the most realistic changes are the smallest ones.

    Here are a few gentle reminders for the days when you feel as though you’re carrying a little too much.

    1. Give yourself permission to rest.
      You don’t need to fill every quiet moment with another task. Sometimes sitting down, having a cup of tea while it is still warm or going to bed a little earlier is enough for that day. Rest is a need, not a reward.
    2. Let go of the pressure to do everything perfectly.
      Ask yourself what genuinely needs to be done today and what can wait. Your home doesn’t have to be spotless, every meal doesn’t have to be homemade and every day doesn’t have to be productive. Sometimes good enough really is good enough.
    3. Talk about how you’re actually feeling.
      Instead of automatically saying, “I’m fine,” try being honest with someone you trust. You don’t have to explain everything perfectly. Even saying, “I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed lately, and I think I need some support,” can be a starting point.
    4. Make space for the person you are outside motherhood.
      This doesn’t have to mean finding hours of free time. It could be reading a few pages of a book, listening to your favourite music, going for a walk or doing something you enjoyed before children. Small moments of connection with yourself can be meaningful.
    5. Ask for help when you need it.
      You don’t have to manage everything alone. Ask your partner, family or friends for practical support where possible, and consider speaking to your GP if your mental health is affecting your everyday life or you are finding things difficult to manage. Self-care can help, but it isn’t a substitute for professional support when you need it. And perhaps most importantly, remember that looking after yourself doesn’t make you selfish. You matter, too.

    This World Mental Health Day, let’s listen a little more


    The 2026 theme for World Mental Health Day is “Lived experiences heard: real voices, real change.”

    It is a reminder that listening to people who have experienced mental health challenges matters, and that their experiences should help shape the support and services available to them.

    I think this message is particularly important when we talk about motherhood.
    Every mum has a different experience. Some navigate postnatal mental health challenges. Others struggle with the demands of balancing work and family life, the loneliness that can sometimes accompany motherhood, or the feeling that their identity has changed in ways they weren’t prepared for.

    Some mums are finding their feet with a newborn, while others are raising older children and discovering that their own needs have been pushed aside for years.
    There isn’t one universal motherhood experience, and there isn’t one right way to feel.

    We need spaces where mums can speak honestly without feeling that they have to soften their words, justify their emotions or reassure everyone that they are still grateful.

    We need to listen without immediately offering solutions, comparing experiences or telling someone that it could be worse.
    Sometimes, the most helpful thing we can say is, “That sounds really difficult. I’m glad you told me.”

    And sometimes, supporting someone means doing more than asking how they are. It means checking in again, offering practical help, making time to listen and helping them access professional support if they need it.

    Being heard matters. Being taken seriously matters. And feeling supported should not depend on how well someone can explain their struggles.

    A gentle reminder for the mum who needs it
    If you are reading this and you’ve been finding things difficult lately, I want to remind you of something.

    You don’t have to be the mum who holds everything together all the time.
    You are allowed to have difficult days. You are allowed to feel overwhelmed. You are allowed to miss parts of your old life while loving the life you have now.

    You are allowed to ask for help, to take a break and to admit that things feel hard. You do not have to wait until you have nothing left to give before you start looking after yourself.

    And if you are struggling more than you feel able to manage alone, please know that support is available. Speaking to someone you trust, contacting your GP or reaching out to a mental health support service can be an important first step.

    Your mental health matters on the difficult days, the ordinary days and the days when everything seems to be going well.

    It matters when you are a new mum, when you are an experienced mum, when you are working, when you are at home and when you are trying to work out who you are in this new chapter of life. It matters because you matter.

    Let’s keep the conversation going
    World Mental Health Day is an opportunity to raise awareness, challenge stigma and remind one another that nobody should have to struggle in silence.

    But these conversations shouldn’t happen just once a year.

    Let’s keep checking in with our friends. Let’s make it easier to talk honestly about the difficult parts of motherhood. Let’s stop treating exhaustion as a badge of honour and perfection as the standard we should all be chasing.

    And let’s remember that behind every mum is a person who deserves care, understanding and support, too. If there is one thing I hope you take away from this post, it is this:

    You can be a wonderful mum and still need looking after yourself.

    Both things can be true. And you deserve that care, not just on World Mental Health Day, but every day.

  • The Woman You Were Before Children Isn’t Gone – But She Is Changing

    The Woman You Were Before Children Isn’t Gone – But She Is Changing

    There are things you miss when you become a mum. It isn’t necessarily grief for your baby-free life. It isn’t regret. And it doesn’t mean you don’t love the life you’ve created.

    Sometimes, you simply miss the woman you used to be. The woman who could leave the house without packing the kids’ bags. The woman who could make plans without figuring out what mood I’m going to get from the kids. The woman whose weekends belonged to her and special time together as husband and wife. The woman who thought she knew what she liked, what she wanted, where she was going.

    Perhaps you miss her spontaneity. Old friendships. Her body. Perhaps you even miss the version of yourself who could spend an entire afternoon doing absolutely nothing without feeling that she should be doing something else.

    And then comes the guilt.

    Because how can you miss parts of your old life when you love your new one so much?Perhaps the answer is that you don’t have to choose.

    We talk about becoming a mother as though it happens once

    We tend to mark motherhood with a series of obvious milestones: the positive pregnancy test, the birth, the first night at home, the first smile, the first birthday.

    But becoming a mum is much bigger and messier than any one of those moments. There is a word for this process: matrescence.

    Like adolescence, it describes a period of profound change – physical, emotional, psychological and social – as a woman moves into a new stage of life and develops a new sense of herself.

    And increasingly, researchers are exploring motherhood not simply as something that happens to women, but as a process that changes how women understand themselves.

    A major UK study published in 2026, Motherhood, Inside Out, describes motherhood as a transformation that can reshape identity, relationships, priorities, values, community and even how women understand the world around them.

    That matters because we often talk about maternal wellbeing as though the question is simply: Are you okay? But sometimes the more complicated question is: Who are you now?

    You haven’t disappeared

    One of the most uncomfortable parts of early motherhood can be the feeling that pieces of your old identity have become harder to access.

    Maybe you were ambitious and now your career has stalled. Maybe you were social and now getting out of the house feels like an expedition. Maybe you loved exercise and now your relationship with your body has changed. Maybe you were fiercely independent and now you spend much of your day completely dependent on another person’s needs.

    Or maybe you don’t recognise yourself at all. This can feel frightening. But change isn’t the same thing as disappearance.

    The woman you were before children hasn’t necessarily gone. Some parts of her may simply be quieter. Some may be waiting for space. Others may have changed beyond recognition. And some parts may have become stronger.

    Someone said something to me the other day that really made me stop and think. They told me that I seemed more confident and assertive at work. My first reaction was surprise. Because internally, I don’t necessarily feel like I’ve become a more confident person. If anything, motherhood has given me an entirely new collection of things to worry about. There are days when I question myself constantly.

    And yet, perhaps that comment was seeing something I hadn’t noticed. Perhaps motherhood has changed the way I use my voice.

    Perhaps advocating for my two little people, making decisions when I’m exhausted, navigating uncertainty and learning that I cannot possibly keep everyone happy has changed something in me.

    Perhaps I’ve become more comfortable saying what I think. More willing to have an opinion. More prepared to say no. More aware that my time matters. Maybe confidence doesn’t always arrive as a feeling.

    Sometimes it shows up in the things you start doing without realising you’ve changed.

    There is grief in becoming someone new

    We don’t talk enough about this part. When we celebrate motherhood, we understandably talk about what arrives: the baby, the love, the family, the new experiences.

    We don’t always talk about what has to be renegotiated. Your friendships may change. Your relationship may change. Your relationship with work may change. Your relationship with your body may change. Even your relationship with time changes.

    And underneath all of that is a quieter question: What happens to me?

    A 2026 study exploring maternal identity found that mothers could experience both upheaval and grief as they negotiated their previous identities with emerging versions of themselves.

    That grief doesn’t make you ungrateful. It makes you human.

    There can be sadness for the life that existed before children without wishing that your children didn’t exist. There can be nostalgia without regret. There can be a longing for freedom without wanting to be free from your children.

    Perhaps we’ve made motherhood unnecessarily difficult by assuming that if you are happy with your new life, you shouldn’t miss your old one.

    You don’t have to “get yourself back”

    There is a whole industry built around the idea of getting your old self back.

    Get your body back. Get your confidence back.

    Get your sleep back. Get your life back. But what if “back” isn’t the destination?

    What if the woman you’re becoming deserves just as much attention as the woman you were? This doesn’t mean abandoning the parts of yourself that existed before motherhood.

    Quite the opposite.

    Maybe you still want the career. Maybe you still want to dance, write, stay active, see your friends or go to a café for the perfect coffee or hot chocolate.

    Maybe becoming a mum has actually made those things feel more important. The question isn’t whether you can return to who you were. It’s whether you can bring the parts of her that still matter with you.

    And perhaps you can also acknowledge the parts that have emerged since. The woman who speaks up in a meeting. The woman who knows her limits. The woman who is less interested in being liked by everyone. The woman who has discovered that she is capable of far more than she once thought.

    Motherhood can make you ask better questions

    Before children, perhaps the question was:

    What do I want? After children, it can become: What actually matters to me? Those aren’t necessarily the same question.

    Motherhood can strip away some assumptions. It can expose which relationships nourish you and which ones don’t. It can make you reconsider how you spend your time. It can change what ambition means. It can make you more aware of inequality, care, money, work and the invisible labour that keeps families running.

    It can make you fiercely protective of your time. It can make you softer. It can make you braver. It can make you realise that the person you were trying so hard to become before motherhood wasn’t necessarily the person you wanted to be forever.

    None of this happens neatly. Matrescence isn’t a makeover. It’s not a five-step journey towards your “new normal”. It’s an ongoing negotiation between who you were, who you are and who you are becoming.

    So, who is she now?

    Perhaps that’s the question we should be asking mothers. Not: “Are you back to your old self yet?”

    But: “What is changing?” What have you discovered about yourself? What have you gained? What are you ready to leave behind?

    And what parts of yourself have you only just met? Because the woman you were before children isn’t necessarily gone. She may be there in your ambition. In your humour. In the music you still love. In the things you refuse to give up.

    And perhaps she’s changed, too. Perhaps she has become more complicated. More tired. More compassionate. More certain about some things and much less certain about others.

    Perhaps motherhood hasn’t erased her. Perhaps it has given her another dimension. And maybe the goal was never to get her back. Maybe the goal is to get to know her again.

    Not the woman you were before children.

    The woman you are becoming now.

Anxiety Confidence Family Mental Health Mindset Motherhood Parenthood Parenting Positivity Postpartum Self Esteem Wellness