This post relates to my experience of growing from a young girl into a young woman. Other women’s experiences might differ.
When I was a little girl, there was so much sunshine in my life. I don’t think it was until becoming a teenager when stress levels started to creep in. And those stemmed from wanting to do well at school and maintaining friendships through “being liked”.
I also had a fear of losing people after the realisation hit that both my granny had died when I was in primary school and then my grandad in my second year or high school. What you experience at a younger age especially how people treat you during times like this has an impact on you when you grow up. And as a girl changing into a young woman, the way people spoke to me and still to this day, affects me. But I’m still learning to handle that differently.
I’m proud to be a woman; it’s given me the ability to become a mum to my son and onto my second child in the coming months. I’ve faced challenges in a professional environment in the past; not only around being paid fairly or shown the right recognition for my work, but for being a woman. I’ve had comments thrown my way for being a mum and being pregnant/going on maternity leave. It’s sad isn’t it? But it happens and probably more commonly than you think. But putting the negative experiences aside, there’s much more wonderful things about being a woman. Here’s what I would tell my younger self if only I knew back then, what it would mean stepping into the world from a young girl to a young woman.
Friendships will come and go
Yep, that’s right – even the ones you always thought would last a life time. You will start to have a different perspective on life as you get older and it’s a good thing because it helps to keep the right people in your circle who are supposed to be there through the harder stuff you experience. I do think that as a woman, I’ve let this affect me more than it should’ve. I would get upset, want to understand why, and try to get to the root cause when it actual fact, it can be as simple as “people move on”.
Your body is capable of amazing things
I’m not just talking about what a woman goes through during their monthly period cycle although that does play a huge part emotionally and physically; but some women don’t have a regular cycle due to health conditions or complications. I’ve experienced a little of this to the point where I thought I wouldn’t have another child after my firstborn. But the world had a way of doing its thing with time. I am grateful to be pregnant with another little boy and I am so excited to meet him in the next few months. Although children aren’t on the cards for every woman – for some by choice and others sadly aren’t able to, that takes me onto the next amazing thing our bodies can do – carry and birth a child. Pregnancy, labour, giving birth, postnatal health, it all matters and it shouldn’t be neglected whether it’s your first child or not.
It’s better to be authentic than the version of what social media makes you believe you should be
I’ll shout this 100 times for those that need to hear it. I use social media for both personal use and for The Mama Perspective to spread awareness of my blog. But still, there’s a lot of negative association with it, and sadly I think that will always play a part. But I make sure to follow positive feeds, news I can relate to or am interested in e.g. motherhood, mental health, wellness tips etc. and of course the odd funny memes and cute puppy pages because how could they not make me smile?! I’ve had my own battles with social channels but now, I know to unfollow people or topics that don’t align with my interests and I know it doesn’t always show the real side to life.
You will fall in love with the right person for you
Twelve years ago, 18 year old me never believed someone would except me for who I was. Self comparison has killed a lot of my happiness in the past and has led to low self esteem and other mental health problems. It wasn’t until Danny came into my life that I realised not everyone judges you. He loved me then and still loves me now, flaws and all. He’s the one person who has always been true to me in order to teach me to be true to myself. I suppose you could say falling in love taught me again, that the world has a way of doing its thing with time. Danny and me went to the same primary school, he was the year above me and we crossed paths at the end of high school going into college and again at uni. Meant to be eh?
And where do I stand now?
Today I’m proud of the woman I am. I have a good career, a loving husband and son, and together, our family is growing and we have so much to look forward to every day. I am capable of great things and it might’ve taken a while back when I was younger to realise it, but the best version I can be, is myself.
What things would you tell your younger self?
The Mama Perspective 