The Mama Perspective

Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

The voice behind the blog

Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.

Unwind During Stress Awareness Month with Aery Living

This is a gifted post in collaboration with Aery Living.

As a mum, self care has become even more important to me, especially with a second child on the way. It’s easy to get caught up in the same daily routine, but setting aside time to take a break has been a game changer – whether it’s sitting down to enjoy a cup of tea or running myself a relaxing bath.

I was recently given the opportunity to review a selection of products from Aery Living with Stress Awareness Month coming up this April. I was kindly gifted two items to try, both of which arrived beautifully wrapped.

Before Sleep Gift Set – Lavender Eucalyptus and Cedar

The gift set consists of pillow mist, a soy candle, and bath salts.

Backache has started to kick in now that I’m in my third trimester of pregnancy. It’s all part of the journey, though, right?! Once my son was in bed, I wanted to take some time for myself. There’s nothing better than a peaceful house, especially after the chaos of motherhood and a busy day at work. I decided to spend 30 minutes relaxing in the bath with these lovely bath salts – it was pure heaven and exactly what I needed. They smell amazing, and the candle was a bonus to add to my pamper night. The perfect combination.

The sleep mist spray helped me get a much-needed good night’s sleep. Some nights, it’s been a little difficult to get comfortable at this stage of pregnancy, but the pillow mist worked wonders, helping me stay settled and enjoy fewer wake-ups (other than the usual trips to the bathroom!).

Nordic Cedar Amber Diffuser

As a busy mum, I find that having diffusers around the house helps to create a calming atmosphere – and the Nordic Cedar Amber Diffuser from Aery Living, does exactly that. I had to try it! Not only does it look aesthetically pleasing, it smells great too with his warm amber scent. It’s a decent size so I’m expecting it to last a while. Me and my husband chose to place it in my bedroom and it smells so good when you enter the room. It’s added a nice touch to making our room nice and cosy.

Fancy treating yourself to some goodies that’ll help you relax? Head over to Aery Living to browse their products and use code MAMAPERSPECTIVE20 for 20% off. They also have a lovely range of pamper items for Mother’s Day!
Why I’ve Learned to Do More of What Makes Me Happy

Since a young age, probably around my teenage years, I’ve always been a people pleaser. I’ve been very sensitive to hurting other people’s emotions and doing anything other than what they ask of me. But up until not that long ago, to be honest, I started to see things differently.

Once me and Danny bought a house to call our own, started to build our own little family, and got married, everything we dreamed about became our reality. And all of those aspects are the best part of our relationship yet. But it hasn’t just been about doing what makes us happy as a couple, it’s also meant focusing on what makes us happy as parents and what makes our son (and second son to be) happy in this world. And you can guess where it starts? With how I’m feeling about myself.

It’s time for me to control my own happiness rather than through the ways other people see or treat me. For so long, I defined my worth through the lens of others – how they felt, what they thought, what they needed. But since becoming a mum, I’ve realised that my happiness can’t depend on that anymore. If I’m not happy within myself, how can I show up as the wife, mum, and the person I really want to be?

I’ve learned that putting myself first isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to take a step back. It’s okay to prioritise my own wellbeing. Because when I’m at my best, the most important people around me – my family, benefits too. I can’t pour from an empty cup, and it’s time to fill mine with the things that matter to me.

Choosing happiness, above all else, always wins. It has an affect on every part of me, emotionally and physically. Choosing to be happy isn’t just about feeling good; it creates a ripple effect in relationships, careers, and our overall wellbeing. It’s amazing how taking control can change so much on your perspective on life.

I’ve also realised that chasing other people’s approval often leads to nothing but hurt and upset, especially when it’s a never ending cycle. No matter how hard you can try to make other people happy, there will always be someone who is willing to criticise your way of doing something. But by choosing happiness, it shows the authentic you. And that’s something that can never be taken away once you really focus on it. Choosing ourselves first isn’t just the best thing we can do for us because it’s the best thing we can do for the ones we love too.

It’s easier said than done but I’m trying harder to let go of the need to please everyone, and now deciding to choose my own happiness.
What It Feels Like Being Pregnant for the Second Time

When I found out I was pregnant with my second child, it brought the memory of being pregnant with my first. After so many months of thinking I had missed a period but it turned out to be delayed or it was mistaken for a hemorrhagic cyst, I couldn’t believe it when I seen those two pink lines. It brought back all the feelings I had when I was pregnant with my first son, Freddy.

Health Wise

I feel calmer this time round. I don’t mean I’m 100% laid back about everything but you know, there’s definitely a difference compared to my first pregnancy. I still have to be monitored with my blood pressure as I have hypertension outside of pregnancy. The clinic I’m under again is amazing – they’re so supportive and kind.

The sickness hasn’t been fun. With Freddy, I think it stopped around 12-13 weeks then crept up a little in the third trimester. This time though, it was constant up until around 22 weeks with the odd sickness due to reflux here and there.

In terms of my self esteem, I’m trying to be nicer to myself in how I talk to myself about my body growing another human being. It’s so easy to say how big or unattractive I look but my husband reminds me that I’m in fact not a mess, I’m carrying our second child.

People’s reactions

Less people check in with me but the ones that really matter do ask how things are going. I remember during my first pregnancy, a lot of people told us how excited they were to visit baby once he was born. They were all about our newborn bubble phase but started to drift away once the newness had gone.

Both me and Danny want people who truly care to be around our child, not just for photo uploads on social media, you know the kind.

So, how does it all feel?

There’s less time for naps with a three year old needing his mama’s love and attention. But he’s been so sweet and looks after me just like his daddy does. When he knows I’m tired, he cuddles up to me and brings me a blanket. He’s been sharing his snacks with me too! But the best part is that he’s really understanding that his baby brother is inside mummy’s belly. He hugs my baby bump, strokes it, and says “Hi baby!”

There’s nothing better than the love he gives me.

So, although this second pregnancy is going fast and it’s more hectic, I couldn’t be more grateful to have my firstborn son be part of the journey this time round. He is what makes it extra special.

To anyone who’s going through their second pregnancy right now, don’t listen to all the “wait until you can’t sleep again” or “wait until you have to change all those nappies again”. Because you know what? There are plenty more wait until positive moments that are about to begin. Think about the first time you see both of your children in the room together being introduced, or the playtimes that are to come. It will all be worth it.