The Mama Perspective

Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

The voice behind the blog

Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • How Birthdays Change Over the Years

    How Birthdays Change Over the Years

    This month, I celebrated turning 31 years old and hitting 34 weeks pregnant on the same day. It was a quiet milestone, and it got me thinking about how birthdays can change as we get older or maybe because we’re at a different stage of our lives to someone else. This year I worked my usual working day although it was nice to have worked from home. Then in the evening I couldn’t wait to have a nice bath whilst Danny took Freddy to the park. The two of them also surprised me by singing Happy Birthday with cake and candles, after Danny telling me “to sit down a minute please to relax.” He says that so often to me, especially these days! And Danny being Danny, also put banners around the house including the front door even though it wasn’t a significant birthday – he just wanted to make that special effort and I love him even more for that.

    When I look back to my twenties, birthdays were let’s say more exciting. There were more group messages, more social media notifications, and a lot more going on. This year, I noticed fewer texts and DMs but some messages came from people I hadn’t spoken to in a while including old colleagues and family members who I don’t see often. It felt nice for a little message to show acknowledgment of my birthday or to know someone was thinking of me.  

    Then there’s the birthday card situation. Cards seem to be less these days, but I’ve always loved receiving them. My favourites this year came from my husband and son (no shock there), but I also loved the thoughtfulness of two of my colleagues who’ve been there for me in different ways. Walking into work the day after my birthday and being greeted with that kind of kindness made the day feel that much better. 

    Turning 31 didn’t stop me from getting excited about cake and being thankful for cute themed gifts – just like the person who got me a Stitch gift bag and card that made my inner child smile. And another person who included cake (because they underhand the importance of cake on a birthday), and a positive quote and wellness cards – all perfect for me!

    I may not look my age, but I carry it proudly. There’s a story behind every year including how I’ve grown in my career, struggled through some mental health aspects in my life, became a wife to my best friend, and most importantly, becoming a mum to my son, and soon to be second little boy. 31 feels like a turning point in the best way – quiet confidence, having the right relationships in my life even if my circle has changed, and appreciation for the little things that made a big difference in my life for me. 

    I think as you get older, you start to realise what’s more meaningful to you. And it’s not about how many people show up or send messages, it’s about who shows up. The people who are there in your everyday life, who lift you up, who love you through every version of yourself.

    I’m thankful for my little family. The love and admiration my husband and son give me on my birthday and every single day reminds me that this chapter of life, even with the tiredness and heavy pregnancy stage, the best is yet to come.

    Birthdays change. But the love I get from the most important people in my life and the memories made along the way are what truly matters.

  • The Differences Between My First and Second Pregnancy

    The Differences Between My First and Second Pregnancy

    During my first pregnancy, I still remember that exact moment – my heart genuinely skipped a beat as I stared down at the two pink lines on the test. This is what Danny and I had hoped for, and I couldn’t quite believe it had happened… and so quickly, too. I couldn’t wait to tell him. When I finally did, his voice changed into this mix of excitement and not quite believing it. And for the second pregnancy – it was those same feelings but more disbelief because we didn’t think it was going to happen and we started to tell ourselves, or at least I did that, “Maybe I’m supposed to be a mum of one.” But the day I seen the positive test for my second pregnancy, we ran quite literally to the car to head to Tesco for a Clearblue test! It confirmed what the first one said – pregnant and at 2-3 weeks. We’ve always wanted Freddy to be a big brother and now with just a few weeks to go, it’s getting really close and Freddy will meet his baby brother soon.

    So, is the second pregnancy anything like the first? Honestly, yeah and no, there are a few differences.

    Resting in your first pregnancy versus your second

    Gone are the days when you had more freedom for naps. Now, I’ve got a 3-year-old who wants to play, luckily his daddy is the fun one most so that helps. But still, this time around feels a little different, in the best way. I’ve got my little boy looking after me too, alongside Danny. During those rough weeks of sickness (which the worst lasted up until around 24 weeks), he’d come over, gently put a blanket on me while I lay down, and say, “Mummy sick.”

    And then there’s the “Hi baby brother,” which melts my heart every time. Freddy also loves rubbing my belly and I think it’s the sweetest thing.

    The sickness for me this time round has been twice as bad

    I remember being sick all the time when I was pregnant with Freddy, no matter the time of day. But it did start easing off around the 12-13 week mark. This time, though, the sickness stuck around a lot longer into the second trimester. I don’t think the reflux has helped either. Gaviscon just doesn’t help this time, and neither do Rennies for long-term relief. I’m glad my GP was able to prescribe tablets that actually help. And it feels so good to be able to enjoy meals again – especially as someone who loves my food!

    Changes in my body

    It’s no surprise that pregnancy takes a toll on your body, both physically and emotionally. I remember just how much I loved being pregnant the first time, even with the trips to the hospital for my blood pressure. There’s something so heartwarming about growing a child – watching my bump grow and feeling those little movements inside me get stronger. This second pregnancy has been no different. I’m embracing the stretch marks on my thighs, and recently, a few new ones on my belly – constant reminders of the incredible things my body is doing to carry a little human.

    The love and support

    Without a doubt, the love and support from my husband is still there and honestly, it feels even stronger this time. But I do feel like the support from others isn’t quite as much as it was the first time around, and I’ve had to come to terms with that. There’s just less excitement with this second pregnancy, unless you count the coworkers who weren’t around for the first pregnancy. Everyone has their own lives, so I get it, but it would be nice to feel that extra support. The specialist mental health midwife team were helping me with my second pregnancy in the earlier months, especially when it came to explaining the changes Freddy was facing at school – moving him from private nursery to school nursery back in September. And honestly, I’m feeling a little anxious about labour too. My last phone call with the team was canceled in March with no real explanation – just a message saying no clinicians were available. So, I’m really hoping I can reschedule soon as the anxiety is kicking back in.

    It never helps with the rollercoaster of emotions pregnancy brings. I also feel that some little comments, even if they not intentional, can just make things harder. They tend to make those moments when I’m already feeling low and exhausted worse, especially when I’m juggling Freddy’s challenging moments too.

    How did your second pregnancy compare to your first? Can you relate to any of the experiences I’ve shared here?

  • Trying Harder to Stress Less

    Trying Harder to Stress Less

    Teaching myself to stay calm during stressful situations hasn’t always come easy. Whether it’s a tantrum from my 3-year-old or challenges at work, I do my best to get through it all but I’ve noticed that sometimes, stress gets the better of me. Now, in this stage of my second pregnancy, I’m learning to remind myself, “I can only do what I can do.” Sometimes that means finding calm to help my son through his big emotions, which often ends in a cuddle or us snuggling each other to sleep. Other times, it’s stepping back and asking, “Can this wait until tomorrow?”

    High blood pressure and stress

    I’ve had high blood pressure since I was 24. Doctors have always wondered if it’s hereditary, but one thing I’ve learned over the years is that blood pressure and stress definitely don’t mix.

    During both of my pregnancies, I’ve been under the care of a clinic in Manchester called MAViS, and they’ve been amazing at supporting me. They keep a close eye on me, especially during the third trimester, with extra scans and monitoring my blood pressure. Touch wood things are going better this time around.

    I guess I learned the hard way, through most of my life and my first pregnancy, how much stress can affect my body. During my last pregnancy, I ended up at the hospital countless times, day and night, and even had to stay overnight because my blood pressure was off the charts. This time around, I’ve had a few high readings, but nothing too concerning, and I’ve been able to get advice over the phone. Most likely, it’s been caused by worry and stress – not great for me or the baby. So, it’s really important that I take care of both of us as much as I can when it’s in my control. Unless it’s just pregnancy hormones and all the changes in my body, I’ll do my best to keep my blood pressure in check.

    Accepting my body image

    I’m learning that stress doesn’t have to be tied to how I look, either. I think that’s something I’ve come to realise since becoming a mum. It’s nice to feel good about yourself, but how you look shouldn’t define who you are. On the days when I feel somewhat prettier, sure, I get a little confidence boost, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m a good mum, a hardworking person, and a wife who wants to support my husband in every way I can.

    The stretch marks don’t bother me like they did the first time. I’ve noticed some more appear on my thighs, and the ones from my first pregnancy with Freddy are showing up again but honestly, they make me feel happy. I’m grateful that I get to grow another little human. Women’s bodies are incredible. I’m amazed at how much my baby bump has grown recently, and all I feel is love.

    Some days, I worry a bit and feel guilty for not giving my baby bump enough attention. So whenever I can, I take a moment to rub my belly, say “Hi baby!”, and remind him that I love him. He doesn’t know it yet, but he’s already surrounded by so much love from his daddy and big brother. It’s a simple way I bring myself back to calm.

    Right now, as I’m writing this post, I am lay in bed (sat up with my pregnancy pillow) feeling relaxed as I write out what’s on my mind. Writing really is good for my soul and as I’ve said before it’s like my therapy.

    If you’re feeling the effects of stress right now – whether it’s daily life, motherhood, or work – remember, you’re human. Some things can wait, and your health always comes first. If you’re like me, you’ll probably find yourself enjoying a cup of tea or running a nice bubble bath!

    Resources to help to cope with stress

Anxiety Confidence Family Mental Health Mindset Motherhood Parenthood Parenting Positivity Postpartum Self Esteem Wellness