Being a mum is one of the most rewarding roles I’ve ever taken on, yet for me, and probably for others, it comes with the struggle to find my identity again. I’ve come to realise that embracing my imperfections is one way to be happy, for me, and for my son, so I can grow as a person.
From being a teenager, I think that’s my clearest memory of struggling to ‘fit in’. Oh to be 5-year old me again riding around on my bike and playing in the street on weekends, without a care in the world. Today, it’s more about finding who I am as a mum. And part of that is accepting that my body has been through a lot of change physically and emotionally which has changed my perspective on so many things.
Here’s a little Q&A from me about the reality of how I see myself as a mum.
Am I a ‘super mum’?
No, I don’t think so. From the moment I became a mum, I felt the pressure to be somewhat ‘perfect’ or do always try to do the ‘right’ thing. But reality quickly set in. There were days when the clothes washing piled up (it’s never ending) and I didn’t want to do a thing other than look after my son (or try to get more sleep).
Now, I’ve learned to prioritise what’s most important: being present with my son. I’ve accepted that some days will be chaotic and that’s okay. What matters is the love and attention I give to him. I don’t always get it right but I’ll always try to be the best mum I can be.
Do I compare myself to others?
Oh, 100%. In today’s world, I think it’s hard not to. We’re surrounded by social media, which can be positive for some parts. But, I find myself scrolling through Instagram and see other mums or women in general, who seem to have it all together. It’s made me question my own abilities as a mum. No I try to ignore the pressure. Every single child is single and so are mums to be honest. Although in most ways, we’re experiencing lots of emotional changes.
Do I lose my patience?
Yes, I’m guilty. There are days when the constant demands and endless questions from my children test my limits. I’ve lost my temper more times than I’d like to admit, and each time, I felt a pang of guilt.
However, I’ve learned to forgive myself for these moments. I’m human, and it’s okay to have bad days. What’s important is how I handle these situations afterward. Apologising to my son, explaining why I was frustrated, and showing him that it’s okay to make mistakes has taught the both of us the importance of having empathy and understanding.
Do I neglect self care?
Yes, sometimes, I just feel so drained that I put my own self care aside. Taking time for myself even if it’s for short moments like having a bath/shower or 20 minutes to myself with a hot cup of tea, it helps.
Today, I also try to make more of an effort with seeing friends and not losing the social aspect of my life.
It’s time to be the best version of myself
Being a mum has changed how I see myself, though it’s not all bad, I need to try harder to embrace my imperfections. I’ve had almost three years (or almost years and nine months if you include pregnancy) of building a true connection with my son so it’s time to find myself again. I’ve learned that it’s okay to take breaks. By doing so, I’m not only growing as a mum but also teaching my son valuable lessons about opening up to how we’re feeling and that it’s okay to enjoy our own space.
The Mama Perspective 