The Mama Perspective

Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

The voice behind the blog

Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • 3 Years of Motherhood

    3 Years of Motherhood

    My little boy has turned 3 which means he’s now officially one tenth of my age. So, I’ve been someone’s mum for a whole three years. A little person’s MUM – that’s something to celebrate, isn’t it?

    From seeing two positive lines on a pregnancy test, to morning (all day) sickness. From the first scan to the first kick. From finding out if you’ll be a boy girl to watching you grow as ‘bump’. From nursery bedroom prep to a few hospital visits to monitor my blood pressure. From sitting in the bath on a Monday morning to planning to meet you within the next two to three days. From going to the park with your daddy for a walk to labour starting to kick in. From my waters breaking and intense contractions to being rushed to the delivery suite. From being moved onto the bed with staff around me to pushing three times. From looking up to see your beautiful face to holding you in my arms. From feeling you perfectly fit in my arms to handing you over to your daddy and midwife to dress you. Pregnancy was the beginning but giving birth to you was a whole new chapter. And here’s how you’ve always been the best person to call my son.

    You make me a stronger person

    Since becoming your mummy, I’ve felt no resilience like it. I’ve also started to speak up about things I’ve held back before. It wasn’t until bringing into the world that I realised the effects my mental health had on me and where a lot my thoughts and feelings stemmed from.

    You help me find a better perspective

    You have taught me what’s important. Without you, I wouldn’t be as happy as I am today. My smile is brighter because of you. When I think about each day ahead, I think of you first.

    You impact how much I grow mentally and emotionally

    It’s true. It’s no surprise that, especially as a toddler, you teach me resilience and patience! You have the determination like no one I’ve ever known. When you want to explore something new, you’re set on a mission to complete it as independently as you can. Meanwhile, I’m here trying to stay calm, wondering if you’ll listen and sometimes knowing that I have to let you know experiment with new ways of learning and exploring. But I think the most important way you’ve helped me grow is remembering that you mirror how I think, speak, and feel. If I’m sad, you’re also sad and want to comfort me. I want to do everything I can to make sure I’m always my happiest self for me but more for you.

    You really have taught me what it means to love someone unconditionally and I’ll be forever grateful to have you in my life and to call you my son.

  • Finding Strength From My Struggles

    Finding Strength From My Struggles

    I’ve been through occasions in my life, some more repeatedly than others where I’ve felt low to the point where it’s affected my entire life. I’m talking friendships, my relationship, but most importantly my entire self. The physical and emotional states have been the worst they’ve ever been. I’ve experienced avoidance of seeing people, hating my whole body image, and not liking the sadness overload.

    I was struggling to find positives. But one thing I’ve never failed and know I never will, is being able to love my son. No matter what, absolutely nothing, comes before him. There isn’t a thing in the world that would stop me from wanting to be the best mum I can be, for him. That means that when times do get tough, he’s always the signal to show me what I need to do. Whether it be talking to someone like a friend/family member or professionally. I’ve been had the odd rant to a couple of people in work.

    I think in today’s world especially, it shouldn’t be unusual to talk about how we feel. I’m not saying there’s always a need to go into great detail but aren’t we all human? Shouldn’t we feel strong for talking and expressing how we feel? Regardless of who are you, what you do for a living, what you’ve done right or wrong in the past or at present, mental health and health all around should always be a priority.

    Emotional challenges aren’t always about putting someone to blame because the only way forward is to help yourself. And the first step is acknowledging that help needs to happen if you want to make a difference in your life and potentially others you’re close with.

    On my phone, I have a section inside the Apple health app. It asks you to log how you’ve felt during a moment in the day or overall for the day. Today was the first time in a long while that I logged “Very Pleasant”. I’ve had neutral most days with the odd “Slightly Unpleasant” rather than totally unpleasant.

    Even if you don’t see it at the time, negative thoughts can impact how you see yourself, how you think, how you react to others, and how you behave in your “happy places”. Take mine for instance – at home – where I should feel most at peace. There are times I’ve felt frustrated, fed up, and lost. But it’s more what’s going on around me than the place. Sometimes, I just need to bring myself back to remind me what and who really makes me happy. And where those things or people aren’t, it could be time for a change. It could be as little as new daily habits for coping mechanisms, being more active, or eating healthier.

    It isn’t always easy but there are always so many things to be grateful for. Remember to surround yourself around things and people that spark positivity and one of those people needs to be you. How you speak to yourself says more than it does from anyone else.

  • The Imperfections I See

    The Imperfections I See

    Being a mum is one of the most rewarding roles I’ve ever taken on, yet for me, and probably for others, it comes with the struggle to find my identity again. I’ve come to realise that embracing my imperfections is one way to be happy, for me, and for my son, so I can grow as a person.
    From being a teenager, I think that’s my clearest memory of struggling to ‘fit in’. Oh to be 5-year old me again riding around on my bike and playing in the street on weekends, without a care in the world. Today, it’s more about finding who I am as a mum. And part of that is accepting that my body has been through a lot of change physically and emotionally which has changed my perspective on so many things.
    Here’s a little Q&A from me about the reality of how I see myself as a mum.

    Am I a ‘super mum’?

    No, I don’t think so. From the moment I became a mum, I felt the pressure to be somewhat ‘perfect’ or do always try to do the ‘right’ thing. But reality quickly set in. There were days when the clothes washing piled up (it’s never ending) and I didn’t want to do a thing other than look after my son (or try to get more sleep).

    Now, I’ve learned to prioritise what’s most important: being present with my son. I’ve accepted that some days will be chaotic and that’s okay. What matters is the love and attention I give to him. I don’t always get it right but I’ll always try to be the best mum I can be.

    Do I compare myself to others?

    Oh, 100%. In today’s world, I think it’s hard not to. We’re surrounded by social media, which can be positive for some parts. But, I find myself scrolling through Instagram and see other mums or women in general, who seem to have it all together. It’s made me question my own abilities as a mum. No I try to ignore the pressure. Every single child is single and so are mums to be honest. Although in most ways, we’re experiencing lots of emotional changes.

    Do I lose my patience?

    Yes, I’m guilty. There are days when the constant demands and endless questions from my children test my limits. I’ve lost my temper more times than I’d like to admit, and each time, I felt a pang of guilt.

    However, I’ve learned to forgive myself for these moments. I’m human, and it’s okay to have bad days. What’s important is how I handle these situations afterward. Apologising to my son, explaining why I was frustrated, and showing him that it’s okay to make mistakes has taught the both of us the importance of having empathy and understanding.

    Do I neglect self care?

    Yes, sometimes, I just feel so drained that I put my own self care aside. Taking time for myself even if it’s for short moments like having a bath/shower or 20 minutes to myself with a hot cup of tea, it helps.

    Today, I also try to make more of an effort with seeing friends and not losing the social aspect of my life.

    It’s time to be the best version of myself

    Being a mum has changed how I see myself, though it’s not all bad, I need to try harder to embrace my imperfections. I’ve had almost three years (or almost years and nine months if you include pregnancy) of building a true connection with my son so it’s time to find myself again. I’ve learned that it’s okay to take breaks. By doing so, I’m not only growing as a mum but also teaching my son valuable lessons about opening up to how we’re feeling and that it’s okay to enjoy our own space.

Anxiety Confidence Family Mental Health Mindset Motherhood Parenthood Parenting Positivity Postpartum Self Esteem Wellness