The Mama Perspective

Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

The voice behind the blog

Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.

The Challenge of Accepting Postpartum Body Changes

I’ve never been the most confident person in the room but little did I know that I had more confidence back a few years ago than I do now. Today, I’m insecure most days and a lot of that is down to my body image and how I perceive myself. I don’t like what I see when I look in the mirror and I know it’s down to me to make a change. I struggle losing weight, especially the ‘belly pouch’ I’ve kept since becoming a mum. I’ve picked up bad eating/snacking habits – sometimes overindulging and other times not eating the right food or enough of what’s good for me.

I’ve been struggling with my body confidence since becoming a mum. If I’m being completely honest, it’s something that I’ve struggled with even before pregnancy. But not like this. I feel a bit embarrassed sometimes that I’m over 2.5 years into motherhood and I feel like this. Aren’t mums supposed to feel more like themselves after 1.5-2 years? That’s what I keep reading anyway. It’s like we’re just supposed to bounce back. Most days I don’t feel pretty but it does feel good if I’m out for a special occasion and I dress up to feel more girly.

Before motherhood, I had moments of doubt about my body, but looking back, I realise I had more appreciation for it than I do now. But now, I find myself constantly scrutinising how I look, picking apart every flaw.

Weight has become my nemesis, and I know that I look bigger than I did before. Clothes that once made me feel confident now hang differently, and nothing seems to flatter my shape anymore. I barely understand what my dress sense is these days.

But putting all insecurity about my body aside, I’m trying to remind myself that my worth is not defined by the number on the scale or the size of my jeans (when I can squeeze into them). I’m trying to be kinder to myself even though I don’t always find it easy to do. I want to celebrate the journey my body has been through – pregnancy, childbirth, and now, the demands of being a mum.

I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that my body may never be the same as it once was, and that’s okay. It’s a constant work in progress. And while there are days when I still struggle to as confident as I used to be, I’m reminded of the incredible life I’ve brought into this world. My gorgeous son.

I suppose it’s okay to have moments of doubt and insecurity, but the more you hold onto those thoughts, it can destroy every ounce of confidence one bit at a time. I know I’m strong, but beautiful isn’t something I can say I feel. I love my food and snacks too much! I know I need to do better. My self esteem is downhill but I hope it comes back one day. I’m starting to feel the benefits of being more active, I’ve just got to stick at it.
Navigating Motherhood: Maternal Mental Health

Becoming a mum to my son, Freddy, has been one of the toughest yet most amazing experiences of my life. It’s opened my eyes to the importance of taking care of my own mental health amidst all things related to being a mum, especially for the first time.

From the moment I saw those two pink lines on the first pregnancy test I took, I felt something new. A pure, new kind of love. I remember Danny suggesting we buy a Clear Blue test just to be sure. Our eyes lit up as the second test confirmed I was 100% ‘pregnant’. From that day on, our baby, though not yet brought into the world, was always going to come first.

He is a part of everything we decide to do; whether aspiring to grow at work or deciding whether or not to take part in certain social activities, because if Freddy needs us, he comes first. And most importantly, learning what it means to be happy. I spoke about this in a previous blog post; sometimes it means just sitting at home as a family of three.

For me, becoming a mum has been one hell of a journey in finding myself again. My perspective has shifted; that’s a positive thing, seeing who and what is most important. But I feel like many parts of me needed to be reinvented. My body image, my patience, and most importantly, my self-esteem. I no longer doubt that I’m a good mom, but I do struggle with how I see myself today compared to when my body was growing during pregnancy and before that.

When my son came into the world, my heart was immediately filled with love, but I also felt the weight of responsibility. Those sleepless nights, nappy changes, and constant worry took off making sure he was okay took its toll on me. I think was mainly because I didn’t know what the right or wrong thing was or if I could better. But now, I’m sure that as Freddy’s mum, the saying “Mum always knows best” is true.

Maternal mental health isn’t talked about enough. We’re expected to recover after the 6-week check up and when we’re asked if we’re okay, I don’t know about you but I didn’t really know what I was feeling. It was such a small period of time to know whether I was okay or not. The truth is, it’s hard. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or sad sometimes. There are so many adjustments for women to make when becoming a mum, returning to work being the biggest one. Having a supportive network helps though.

Having a son has taught me that I need to take care of myself too. It’s not selfish to ask for help or take a break when I need it. By looking after my own mental wellbeing, I’m better able to be there for my son and give him the love and support he needs.

Talking about my motherhood journey openly and honestly with my small circle of mum friends helps me. They get it. And I think it’s important to also have support available from others, giving mums the support and resources they need to thrive while finding themselves again. When we’re happy and healthy, it helps our kids to be too!

The Mama Perspective will continue to raise awareness and share experiences of maternal mental health. And the message from this post is to remember that it’s okay not to be okay sometimes.

Please get in touch if you would like to suggest future topics. Thank you for reading.
Taking Part in My Second 10km Run

Over the weekend, I participated in the Heaton Park 10km run and raised over £1000 for Asthma + Lung UK with my dad. This was my second time completing a 10km race since 2017. While I had previously done a 5km run around Heaton Park almost 5 years ago, this one was definitely challenging, especially with all those hills!

For me, the run wasn’t about beating a personal best time or completing the route faster than last time, it was an achievement to get to the finish line. My dad joined me later in the weeks leading up to the run but on the day he was whizzing past me at the beginning so I told him to carry on. Although my dad was in the race on the day, I still feel quite proud that I ran alone. I think I would have cried when I got to the finish line if there wasn’t crowds of people around.

This race wasn’t about competing with others. I chose to run at my own pace and took breaks by walking at intervals to make it more manageable. I didn’t feel ashamed about incorporating walking into my run, even as the half marathon participants zoomed by me after completing a lap around the park.

Something I kept telling myself was, “This is for charity. Remember this is for mum”.

The volunteers and spectators who cheered on all the runners provided a great source of motivation. In particular, the woman who handed out Haribo sweets at the water station. I needed that!

Another valuable realisation I’ve had is that even when I doubt my abilities, I am capable of achieving more than I thought possible. By no means is it ever easy but it’s worth it.

What will my next challenge be? Another run? We’ll see…

The voice behind the blog

The Challenge of Accepting Postpartum Body Changes

Navigating Motherhood: Maternal Mental Health

Taking Part in My Second 10km Run