The Mama Perspective | Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

A space for real stories, shared experiences and modern motherhood

about

Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.

Emotional Shifts During the Third Trimester of My Pregnancy Journey

30/03/2025

I’m becoming tearful quite a lot and have cried on a few occasions. I’m panicking a little bit now about how I’m going to cope as a mum with two children. Obviously I’m not alone because I have my husband but I still can’t help but wonder how I’m going to cope emotionally and mentally. Already, before baby is born, I’m feeling overwhelmed just at the thought of people visiting; people might be wondering if they can see me in hospital or come round to the house. There’s going to be a big change that me, Danny and Freddy need to adjust to as a family once we do welcome our second child into the world first.

Perspectives and wants are allowed to change to do what’s best for me

Take not having a baby shower as another example. I’ve had a few people ask why I don’t want one or why I don’t want to do anything that’s similar. The truth is simply because I don’t want to. I know things aren’t always the same the second time around but I didn’t overly enjoy my first one. I spent too much time considering other people’s feelings and I even ended up in hospital later than night with high blood pressure – something I already have outside of pregnancy so you can imagine the unnecessary stress it caused.

But really, it’s more that I want to make all the time I can for Freddy. I’m feeling pretty guilty of getting a short fuse with him recently because of how tired and irritated I feel. I can’t always explain it but I told myself I’d be okay. I think it’s hit me now that I am going to need some support and people will have to respect my choices. A few people are excited about celebrating the new baby to be born; whilst I am trying to be the best I can for Freddy right now. It’s about making sure he, baby and me are okay. Celebrating can come later. Why am I always the person who feels like I have to validate my feelings or reasonings for the choices I make for me?

A reminder to myself for right now and the future

I know it’s important to take care of myself – physically, emotionally, and mentally. I’m learning to hesitate less when it comes to leaning on Danny especially as he’s the one person who knows me inside out. Even though this transition might be challenging at times, I know I’m a strong person, even if there are days full of tears more than others. I will get through this change and continue to give all the love I can for both of my children. It might not feel like it right now but I know between all the ups and downs, everything will be okay.

The love I have for Freddy isn’t going anywhere. In fact, it’ll probably get even stronger seeing the relationship that him and his brother are going to share. He’s already showing a lot of love to bump and saying “Good morning” or “Hi” each day. Throughout this whole pregnancy, I’ve done my best to include Freddy and refer to baby as “Freddy’s baby brother.”

The best is yet to come.
Unwind During Stress Awareness Month with Aery Living

28/03/2025

This is a gifted post in collaboration with Aery Living.

As a mum, self care has become even more important to me, especially with a second child on the way. It’s easy to get caught up in the same daily routine, but setting aside time to take a break has been a game changer – whether it’s sitting down to enjoy a cup of tea or running myself a relaxing bath.

I was recently given the opportunity to review a selection of products from Aery Living with Stress Awareness Month coming up this April. I was kindly gifted two items to try, both of which arrived beautifully wrapped.

Before Sleep Gift Set – Lavender Eucalyptus and Cedar

The gift set consists of pillow mist, a soy candle, and bath salts.

Backache has started to kick in now that I’m in my third trimester of pregnancy. It’s all part of the journey, though, right?! Once my son was in bed, I wanted to take some time for myself. There’s nothing better than a peaceful house, especially after the chaos of motherhood and a busy day at work. I decided to spend 30 minutes relaxing in the bath with these lovely bath salts – it was pure heaven and exactly what I needed. They smell amazing, and the candle was a bonus to add to my pamper night. The perfect combination.

The sleep mist spray helped me get a much-needed good night’s sleep. Some nights, it’s been a little difficult to get comfortable at this stage of pregnancy, but the pillow mist worked wonders, helping me stay settled and enjoy fewer wake-ups (other than the usual trips to the bathroom!).

Nordic Cedar Amber Diffuser

As a busy mum, I find that having diffusers around the house helps to create a calming atmosphere – and the Nordic Cedar Amber Diffuser from Aery Living, does exactly that. I had to try it! Not only does it look aesthetically pleasing, it smells great too with his warm amber scent. It’s a decent size so I’m expecting it to last a while. Me and my husband chose to place it in my bedroom and it smells so good when you enter the room. It’s added a nice touch to making our room nice and cosy.

Fancy treating yourself to some goodies that’ll help you relax? Head over to Aery Living to browse their products and use code MAMAPERSPECTIVE20 for 20% off. They also have a lovely range of pamper items for Mother’s Day!
Why I’ve Learned to Do More of What Makes Me Happy

20/03/2025

Since a young age, probably around my teenage years, I’ve always been a people pleaser. I’ve been very sensitive to hurting other people’s emotions and doing anything other than what they ask of me. But up until not that long ago, to be honest, I started to see things differently.

Once me and Danny bought a house to call our own, started to build our own little family, and got married, everything we dreamed about became our reality. And all of those aspects are the best part of our relationship yet. But it hasn’t just been about doing what makes us happy as a couple, it’s also meant focusing on what makes us happy as parents and what makes our son (and second son to be) happy in this world. And you can guess where it starts? With how I’m feeling about myself.

It’s time for me to control my own happiness rather than through the ways other people see or treat me. For so long, I defined my worth through the lens of others – how they felt, what they thought, what they needed. But since becoming a mum, I’ve realised that my happiness can’t depend on that anymore. If I’m not happy within myself, how can I show up as the wife, mum, and the person I really want to be?

I’ve learned that putting myself first isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to take a step back. It’s okay to prioritise my own wellbeing. Because when I’m at my best, the most important people around me – my family, benefits too. I can’t pour from an empty cup, and it’s time to fill mine with the things that matter to me.

Choosing happiness, above all else, always wins. It has an affect on every part of me, emotionally and physically. Choosing to be happy isn’t just about feeling good; it creates a ripple effect in relationships, careers, and our overall wellbeing. It’s amazing how taking control can change so much on your perspective on life.

I’ve also realised that chasing other people’s approval often leads to nothing but hurt and upset, especially when it’s a never ending cycle. No matter how hard you can try to make other people happy, there will always be someone who is willing to criticise your way of doing something. But by choosing happiness, it shows the authentic you. And that’s something that can never be taken away once you really focus on it. Choosing ourselves first isn’t just the best thing we can do for us because it’s the best thing we can do for the ones we love too.

It’s easier said than done but I’m trying harder to let go of the need to please everyone, and now deciding to choose my own happiness.
What It Feels Like Being Pregnant for the Second Time

18/03/2025

When I found out I was pregnant with my second child, it brought the memory of being pregnant with my first. After so many months of thinking I had missed a period but it turned out to be delayed or it was mistaken for a hemorrhagic cyst, I couldn’t believe it when I seen those two pink lines. It brought back all the feelings I had when I was pregnant with my first son, Freddy.

Health Wise

I feel calmer this time round. I don’t mean I’m 100% laid back about everything but you know, there’s definitely a difference compared to my first pregnancy. I still have to be monitored with my blood pressure as I have hypertension outside of pregnancy. The clinic I’m under again is amazing – they’re so supportive and kind.

The sickness hasn’t been fun. With Freddy, I think it stopped around 12-13 weeks then crept up a little in the third trimester. This time though, it was constant up until around 22 weeks with the odd sickness due to reflux here and there.

In terms of my self esteem, I’m trying to be nicer to myself in how I talk to myself about my body growing another human being. It’s so easy to say how big or unattractive I look but my husband reminds me that I’m in fact not a mess, I’m carrying our second child.

People’s reactions

Less people check in with me but the ones that really matter do ask how things are going. I remember during my first pregnancy, a lot of people told us how excited they were to visit baby once he was born. They were all about our newborn bubble phase but started to drift away once the newness had gone.

Both me and Danny want people who truly care to be around our child, not just for photo uploads on social media, you know the kind.

So, how does it all feel?

There’s less time for naps with a three year old needing his mama’s love and attention. But he’s been so sweet and looks after me just like his daddy does. When he knows I’m tired, he cuddles up to me and brings me a blanket. He’s been sharing his snacks with me too! But the best part is that he’s really understanding that his baby brother is inside mummy’s belly. He hugs my baby bump, strokes it, and says “Hi baby!”

There’s nothing better than the love he gives me.

So, although this second pregnancy is going fast and it’s more hectic, I couldn’t be more grateful to have my firstborn son be part of the journey this time round. He is what makes it extra special.

To anyone who’s going through their second pregnancy right now, don’t listen to all the “wait until you can’t sleep again” or “wait until you have to change all those nappies again”. Because you know what? There are plenty more wait until positive moments that are about to begin. Think about the first time you see both of your children in the room together being introduced, or the playtimes that are to come. It will all be worth it.
What Things Would I Say to My Younger Self?

08/03/2025

This post relates to my experience of growing from a young girl into a young woman. Other women’s experiences might differ.

When I was a little girl, there was so much sunshine in my life. I don’t think it was until becoming a teenager when stress levels started to creep in. And those stemmed from wanting to do well at school and maintaining friendships through “being liked”.

I also had a fear of losing people after the realisation hit that both my granny had died when I was in primary school and then my grandad in my second year or high school. What you experience at a younger age especially how people treat you during times like this has an impact on you when you grow up. And as a girl changing into a young woman, the way people spoke to me and still to this day, affects me. But I’m still learning to handle that differently.

I’m proud to be a woman; it’s given me the ability to become a mum to my son and onto my second child in the coming months. I’ve faced challenges in a professional environment in the past; not only around being paid fairly or shown the right recognition for my work, but for being a woman. I’ve had comments thrown my way for being a mum and being pregnant/going on maternity leave. It’s sad isn’t it? But it happens and probably more commonly than you think. But putting the negative experiences aside, there’s much more wonderful things about being a woman. Here’s what I would tell my younger self if only I knew back then, what it would mean stepping into the world from a young girl to a young woman.

Friendships will come and go

Yep, that’s right – even the ones you always thought would last a life time. You will start to have a different perspective on life as you get older and it’s a good thing because it helps to keep the right people in your circle who are supposed to be there through the harder stuff you experience. I do think that as a woman, I’ve let this affect me more than it should’ve. I would get upset, want to understand why, and try to get to the root cause when it actual fact, it can be as simple as “people move on”.

Your body is capable of amazing things

I’m not just talking about what a woman goes through during their monthly period cycle although that does play a huge part emotionally and physically; but some women don’t have a regular cycle due to health conditions or complications. I’ve experienced a little of this to the point where I thought I wouldn’t have another child after my firstborn. But the world had a way of doing its thing with time. I am grateful to be pregnant with another little boy and I am so excited to meet him in the next few months. Although children aren’t on the cards for every woman – for some by choice and others sadly aren’t able to, that takes me onto the next amazing thing our bodies can do – carry and birth a child. Pregnancy, labour, giving birth, postnatal health, it all matters and it shouldn’t be neglected whether it’s your first child or not.

It’s better to be authentic than the version of what social media makes you believe you should be

I’ll shout this 100 times for those that need to hear it. I use social media for both personal use and for The Mama Perspective to spread awareness of my blog. But still, there’s a lot of negative association with it, and sadly I think that will always play a part. But I make sure to follow positive feeds, news I can relate to or am interested in e.g. motherhood, mental health, wellness tips etc. and of course the odd funny memes and cute puppy pages because how could they not make me smile?! I’ve had my own battles with social channels but now, I know to unfollow people or topics that don’t align with my interests and I know it doesn’t always show the real side to life.

You will fall in love with the right person for you

Twelve years ago, 18 year old me never believed someone would except me for who I was. Self comparison has killed a lot of my happiness in the past and has led to low self esteem and other mental health problems. It wasn’t until Danny came into my life that I realised not everyone judges you. He loved me then and still loves me now, flaws and all. He’s the one person who has always been true to me in order to teach me to be true to myself. I suppose you could say falling in love taught me again, that the world has a way of doing its thing with time. Danny and me went to the same primary school, he was the year above me and we crossed paths at the end of high school going into college and again at uni. Meant to be eh?

And where do I stand now?

Today I’m proud of the woman I am. I have a good career, a loving husband and son, and together, our family is growing and we have so much to look forward to every day. I am capable of great things and it might’ve taken a while back when I was younger to realise it, but the best version I can be, is myself.

What things would you tell your younger self?