The Mama Perspective

Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

The voice behind the blog

Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • We Have a Routine and We Still Don’t Have It All Together

    We Have a Routine and We Still Don’t Have It All Together

    We have a routine in our house. A familiar flow to our days. And yet… some days still feel hard. Occasionally, the baby is unsettled no matter what I do. Some nights my eldest suddenly struggles with bedtime, even though we’ve done the same thing a hundred times before. And in those moments, it’s easy to feel like the routine should be working better – like I’m doing something wrong because things aren’t going smoothly.

    But motherhood has taught me this –
    having a routine doesn’t mean having it all together.

    Why routine matters to me

    I genuinely believe in routine. Not in a strict, clock-watching way but in a gentle, grounding way. Routine helps my children know what to expect. It gives our days a rhythm. It brings a sense of safety, especially during busy or emotional seasons like Christmas just gone before the return to school, and welcoming a new baby brother into the world. And if I’m honest, it helps me too. It removes some of the mental load, the constant decision-making, the “what’s next?” feeling that can be so exhausting as a mum.

    Routine isn’t about control. For me, it’s about comfort.

    When the routine feels like it’s falling apart

    The thing is, kids aren’t robots. Babies don’t care what time it is. They don’t read the calendar or the mental notes inside your head. Sometimes they’re just upset and they need comfort more than consistency.

    Older children go through phases too. Separation anxiety, big feelings, growing independence, and oh the overstimulation. One night bedtime is easy, the next it feels impossible. And suddenly, the routine that usually works just… doesn’t. And that doesn’t mean the routine is bad. It means your kids are human.

    The pressure to “Have it all together”

    There’s so much pressure on mums to be consistent, calm, organised, and emotionally available at all times. To create the perfect routine and stick to it no matter what, to be the good mum.

    And when it doesn’t work? We blame ourselves. We wonder if we’re being too soft or the opposite, not firm enough. Or doing something wrong because bedtime is hard again. But a disrupted routine doesn’t mean an unstable home. And a tough evening doesn’t mean you’re failing. Kids have big emotions and parents do too.

    What motherhood is teaching me

    I’m learning that routine is a guide but some nights call for flexibility. Some nights need extra cuddles. Some nights don’t go to plan at all. And as hard as it can be when all you want to do is sleep, that’s okay.

    My children don’t need perfection. They need love and comfort. They need to feel safe, seen, and supported even when the routine bends a little. Tomorrow is always another chance to try again.

    Can you relate?

    If bedtime feels difficult tonight as you’re trying to get the kids to sleep, if you’re ending the day feeling tired, touched out, or overwhelmed… You don’t have to get it right every night to be a good mum.

    We can believe in routine and give ourselves grace. Both can exist at the same time. And maybe that’s what having it “together” really looks like.

  • My First Christmas as a Mum of Two

    My First Christmas as a Mum of Two

    Wow, my first Christmas as a mum of two has been magical, but it’s also been hard. The lead up is pretty draining, making sure everything is done, with support from their daddy of course. But still, I wish for a couple of quiet moments in the day. I long for the kids’ bedtime so I can then go to sleep – mostly when my youngest goes, I go too, to be honest.

    I’ve been lucky to be on maternity leave and not have to worry about returning to work just yet, although it is actually a bit of a worry in my mind. I suppose that’s normal though. Motherhood has a way of holding excitement and worry at the same time.

    Now, the house is cleared of rubbish – all the wrapping paper, boxes, and plastic packaging gone. And I do love a fresh house, even if it’s for two minutes before the chaos of toys and noise continues. All of the new toys and clothes have “a home,” as I like to call it, and there isn’t a present that my boys don’t love. They’re grateful, and we are too as their mum and dad, but the most important thing for us is presence over presents.

    What was special about this Christmas?

    It was Jack’s first Christmas, and he turned 7 months old on Christmas Day. It’s also the first year that Freddy has shown a clear understanding of Christmas – the countdown for Santa coming with his reindeers, delivering presents, leaving a carrot, cookie, and milk out! Then to ask on Christmas morning, “Why didn’t Rudolph finish all of the carrot?!” You realise how much you really need to learn and answer for when you have a kid in the “why” stage, don’t you?

    Freddy’s excitement was the best part for me – and also the fact that he got his baby brother involved, even if he did want to open Jack’s presents as well as his own. The love between my two boys has grown stronger, and for that, my heart couldn’t be fuller. We’re seven months into this family-of-four life, and we didn’t get the picture-perfect moments early on, but over Christmas we’ve taken a few and they’re ones I’ll remember forever.

    What a year it’s been

    This year has also been a year of growth for me. A year of learning to say no when I don’t want to say yes, instead of doing it just to please someone. Becoming a mum has done that to me – especially becoming a mum of two – and in the best way. I’m learning to protect my energy, my time, and my presence, because that’s what my boys need most.

    This Christmas was loud and tiring but real and full of love. And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

  • Prioritising My Mental Health as a Mum of Two

    Prioritising My Mental Health as a Mum of Two

    When you become a mum – everything changes. I don’t care who says it doesn’t. Your identity – how you see yourself in the mirror and possibly how others see you too. I know I’m a stronger person since becoming a mum, and even more so since bringing my second son into the world earlier this year. I mean come on, 9 months of pregnancy, labour, and pushing a human being out of me counts towards that right? But it doesn’t stop there. Recovery is hard. It’s mentally and physically draining even when I tried to convince myself otherwise during early postpartum both times round, especially the second time round like, I’ve done this before so I have to okay.

    But here’s what no one really prepares you for – the mental load that hits differently when you’re a mum of two. Suddenly you’re split between meeting the needs of a newborn and still trying to show up fully for your first child, all while attempting to hold on to pieces of yourself. Some days, it feels like I’m juggling emotions, mental notes, and expectations that I didn’t even know existed. The endless lists. And in the middle of it all, there’s me – still a person, still a woman, still trying to figure it all out and trying to look after myself.

    I don’t want to be perfect, I just want to be happy

    For a long time, I pushed my own needs to the bottom of the list because that’s what we’re conditioned to do, right? Be the strong one. The organised one. The present one. The mum who just “gets on with it.” Ugh, I hate that perspective. But the truth is, that only leads me to feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, and disconnected from myself and sometimes even the people I love.

    This time, though, I promised myself something different. I made a conscious choice to prioritise my mental health – as a must. It’s far from perfect but I know I have to keep trying and get the support I need. Because when I take care of my mind, other things become more manageable. I wouldn’t say everything but more things do. I’m a little more patient at times and just feel a bit more grounded. More me? Or maybe a slightly different version of me – one that really is just fine most days. 

    Finding calm in the little moments

    Prioritising my mental health looks different every day. Some days, it’s as simple as stepping outside for five minutes of fresh air. Other days, it’s asking for help without feeling guilty or admitting that I’m not coping and need a moment away from everything before my head feels like it’s going to explode. It’s choosing rest, slowing down, and recognising that my worth isn’t measured by how much I can cram into the time I rarely do have to myself.

    Most of all, it’s learning to tune back into myself – to listen to the signs my body and mind are giving me instead of ignoring them. Motherhood can feel so noisy, but within it, I’m in the middle of finding space to breathe again. And that, to me, is something positive.

    I’m still figuring it out. I’m still learning how to balance being a mum and being a woman with my own needs. But I do know this: putting my mental health first doesn’t make me less of a mum. It makes me a better one. I really do believe in the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” You’ve got to fill that cup up to give yourself the energy and happiness you need.

Anxiety Confidence Family Mental Health Mindset Motherhood Parenthood Parenting Positivity Postpartum Self Esteem Wellness