The Mama Perspective

Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

The voice behind the blog

Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • The Mum I’ll Always Try to Be

    The Mum I’ll Always Try to Be

    I’ll never try to be the perfect mum because, let’s be honest, what exactly does one of those look like and behave like? If you ask me – it doesn’t exist. And as someone who can be a perfectionist in some aspects of my life, I know getting everything right in motherhood just isn’t possible. I’d be working myself into the ground and probably feeling pretty unhappy if perfection was the standard I set for myself.

    Instead, I want to be a real mum. The kind who tries her best, learns as she goes, and understands that some days will feel like a win while others will feel like complete chaos – and both are completely normal.

    I want to work, too – not because I want to be away from my boys, but because I want them to see that you can love your family deeply and still have passions, goals and ambitions of your own. I don’t believe my career has to come to a halt if I’m in the fortunate position where it doesn’t need to. I want my boys to grow up seeing that balance, understanding that loving your family and loving your work can exist side by side.

    More than anything though, I want them to grow up surrounded by kindness. I want them to see it, feel it and show it to others. The world can be tough enough as it is – if they leave our home knowing how to treat people with empathy and compassion, I’ll feel like I’ve done something right.

    Of course, that doesn’t mean I’ve got everything figured out. Far from it.

    There are things I’m always trying to work harder on as a mum:

    • Being more patient. The constant “mum… mum… mum…” can test anyone, but I want my boys to feel heard even in the middle of the busy moments.
    • Learning to prioritise time. See those crumbs on the floor? I’ll stop everything to get them – even if there are a million other things that probably matter more. I’m still learning that sometimes the mess can wait, but the moment can’t.
    • Being more present. Putting my phone down for a while longer, stepping away from the to-do list and actually being in the moment with them.
    • Letting go of mum guilt. Whether it’s working, needing a break, or simply not having the energy to do it all – I’m learning that guilt doesn’t make me a better mum, it just makes me a more exhausted one.
    • Showing them that mistakes are normal. Because if they grow up thinking kids and adults never get things wrong, they’ll feel like they’ve done something wrong when they do and might feel scared/upset to tell me.

    I’ll always try to be myself as a mum. And sometimes that means getting it wrong. Sometimes it means losing my patience or snapping when I’m overwhelmed. But I’m human, and one thing I’ll always do is say sorry when I’ve overreacted in the heat of the moment.

    I actually think that matters more than pretending to get it right all the time. Our children don’t need perfect parents – they need honest ones.

    Sometimes my mind feels completely out of control, you know? Overloaded with mental lists, worries, reminders and the constant background noise of motherhood. The overthinking creeps in and suddenly I’m questioning everything – did I handle that right? Should I have done that differently? Am I doing enough?

    And when that happens, I try to remind myself of something simple.

    My boys don’t need a perfect mum. They need a mum who loves them loudly. A mum who shows up. A mum who keeps trying.

    So the mum I’ll always try to be is the one who will always have my boys’ backs. The mum who laughs with them, apologises when I it wrong, works hard, loves with my whole heart and keeps learning every single day.

  • Second Baby, Second Maternity Leave: Going Back to Work Again

    Second Baby, Second Maternity Leave: Going Back to Work Again

    Jack is 9 months old now and it’s officially the end of my maternity leave. I’m happy but a little sad too. I always thought Freddy taught me everything I never knew about motherhood until I held him in my arms. And while that has some truth to it, there’s still been so much learned since welcoming Jack into the world. He’s taught me that my heart has room for him and his big brother, that emotions will always be up and down, but most of all, reminding me that my boys are everything I’ve dreamed of.

    So, while I head back to work soon (holidays owed to take first), the part of me that’s a little scared of picking up not where I left off, but returning as a mum of two with a great deal of wonder and I’ll admit, feeling anxious. I’ll hold onto a picture of my boys in my mind. They’ll always be my reason.

    Because this time around has been different. Not easier, not harder – just fuller. Fuller days, fuller laundry baskets, fuller conversations, fuller hearts. I’ve learned how to nurse a baby while building Lego towers. I’ve learned that sleep deprivation hits differently when you also have a school run. I’ve learned that guilt doesn’t divide between two children – it doubles – but somehow so does the joy.

    Jack has been my gentle reminder to slow down. As a second baby, he’s slotted into our lives with the calmest little smile, happy to watch the chaos unfold around him. He’s taught me to appreciate the “lasts” in a way I couldn’t with Freddy – the last maternity leave, the last first weaning spoonful, the last time I’ll rock a baby this tiny in the middle of the day with nowhere else to be.

    And Freddy, well, he’s taught me that watching your child become a big brother is one of the most heart-bursting privileges there is. Seeing him comfort Jack, make him laugh, proudly introduce him as “my baby brother”, it’s like witnessing a whole new chapter of love unfold in front of me.

    Going back to work feels different this time. I’m not just returning as me. I’m returning as a mum of two. My priorities are clearer. My boundaries feel firmer. I’m proud of my that careers, but these early years? They race by in a blur of muslins, snack pots and school newsletters. I have to present for the moments that matter.

    There’s a quiet confidence that comes with second-time motherhood too. I trust myself more. I know that hard days don’t last. I know that comparison is the thief of joy (though I’m still practicing). I know that I can be both ambitious and devoted, driven and present, tired and grateful all at once.

    If you’re standing on the brink of the end of maternity leave too, whether it’s your first, second or more, remember it’s okay to feel excited and sad in the same breath. It’s okay to love your job and still wish you could freeze time. It’s okay to feel like you’ve changed because you have. Motherhood reshapes you in the most beautiful, stretching, sometimes uncomfortable ways.

    As I close this chapter, I’m not the same woman who went on maternity leave nine months ago. I’m softer in some ways, stronger in others. More patient (most days). More tired (definitely). More certain than ever that my greatest achievement won’t be on a CV, but will be found in kisses, bedtime cuddles and the sound of two little boys calling “Mama/Mummy!”

    So, here’s to the next season – to the nursery bag and school bag packed the night before, to calendar juggling, to early alarms and evening cuddles. Here’s to doing my best in both worlds, even when it feels messy.

    Because at the end of every day, no matter how busy, how overwhelming, how loud, I’ll come home to my boys. And that is everything. 

  • Changing the Narrative and Raising Emotionally Safe Children

    Changing the Narrative and Raising Emotionally Safe Children

    Everything I went through as a child feeds into my adult life today – who I am as a person, as a mum, as an employee, as a friend. The list goes on. Our childhood doesn’t stay in childhood. It comes with us, quietly shaping how we respond to stress, how we handle conflict, how we love, and how we parent. And if I’m honest, I wish children’s mental health had been taken more seriously back then.

    There was a time when big emotions were brushed off. When sensitive children were told they were dramatic. When needing reassurance was seen as being clingy. When a child struggling to adjust was labelled “spoiled” or “naughty” instead of a little overwhelmed or tired.

    Now, as a parent, I see it so differently.

    Today, if my child is struggling with a change, I don’t see it as bad behaviour. I see it as a little nervous system trying to find its footing. If my child needs a minute to come around instead of being shouted at, that isn’t weakness. That’s growth. That’s emotional safety. That’s learning how to regulate instead of repress.

    Don’t get me wrong – I am not a perfect parent. There are days when I lose my patience. Days when everything boils over at once. The noise, the mess, the endless questions, the mental load – it builds. And sometimes my tone isn’t what it should be.

    But here’s something I’ve learned – repair matters more than perfection. If I snap, I apologise.

    “I’m sorry” is only two words. It isn’t difficult to say. But to a child, it’s powerful. It shows them that adults make mistakes too. It shows them that love isn’t withdrawn when things go wrong. It teaches them accountability. That’s something many of us didn’t grow up with.

    Twice this week, someone has told me, “Your son is a credit to you.” And they’re right – but not for the reasons people might assume.

    I get so lost in the tougher moments that I forget to zoom out. I focus on the meltdowns, the resistance, the tiredness, the days that feel long. But when someone reflects back the bigger picture, it brings me back to what I know deep down. And that’s about my eldest boy in particularly right now, who makes progress every day. His politeness shines. He is kind. He is thoughtful. He is a happy, friendly person. It’s okay that he can be a little sensitive too – I am too.

    A sensitive little soul – just like me.

    For a long time, I thought sensitivity was something to grow out of. Something to toughen up against. But now I see it as a strength. Sensitivity is empathy. It’s emotional intelligence. It’s noticing when someone else is hurting. It’s caring deeply but as I’ve gotten older I question if I care too much for things I don’t have the mental capacity for.

    When we take children’s mental health seriously, we aren’t “raising soft kids.” We are raising emotionally aware little humans. We are breaking cycles of silence, especially that it can’t be talked about. We are teaching our children that feelings aren’t flaws – they are signals.

    The world will eventually teach our children resilience. It will test them, stretch them, challenge them. Home doesn’t need to be another battleground. Home can be the safe place where feelings are named, validated, and worked through.

    Everything I went through as a child shaped me. And everything I choose to do differently now is shaping them.

    If you are the parent who apologises… If you are the parent who pauses instead of shouts (even if not every time)… If you are the parent who worries about doing better… You are already changing the narrative. And that matters more than you know.

Anxiety Confidence Family Mental Health Mindset Motherhood Parenthood Parenting Positivity Postpartum Self Esteem Wellness