The Mama Perspective | Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

A space for real stories, shared experiences and modern motherhood

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Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • What I Don’t Feel Sorry for as a Parent

    What I Don’t Feel Sorry for as a Parent

    When I became a first time mum, I had no clue what I was doing, I had a lot to figure out, but being a mum came naturally to me in my own way. Not everyone will agree with my parenting style, but as the mum of my child, what works best for me and my son is what matters most. Luckily, my husband and I are on the same page. Even before Freddy and his little brother, who will join us in a few months, we’ve always shared a similar outlook on life – I wouldn’t have married him if we didn’t!

    Here are some things I’ll never say sorry for as a parent.

    Doing what makes my son happy

    It’s not about spoiling him or being overly soft. I know when to take a stern approach and say “no” when needed. But beyond that, my son gets all the love and cuddles he wants. Sometimes, doing what makes him happy means playing the next marble run video on the TV; other times, it means finding his daddy so he can pretend he’s a slide, a climbing frame, or anything else his imagination dreams up. And, of course, he’ll always say, “Mummy, save me!” as he pretends to get stuck.

    Not conforming to social trends

    I won’t do something for my son just because it’s what every other mum is doing or promoting on social media. Our version of happiness is seeing our son smile when he sees his mummy and daddy, building marble runs, singing songs, reading his favourite book, and putting car tracks together. While this might differ from other parents, another example is, he doesn’t get fancy balloon displays for Easter or Christmas simply because he doesn’t know any different. He’s a boy who just wants to be happy with his family, his friends, and to learn every day.

    Not making my son visible to you

    If you want a relationship with Freddy, then you make that be whatever you want it to be. If you don’t get in touch that’s not on us as parents, it’s on you. If you don’t want to message to simply wish him a happy birthday or ask how he’s doing, again that sits with you. We all make choices at the end of the day and if Freddy isn’t one of them, that’s fine. He understands who the important people in his life are.

    Choosing my son over anyone or anything

    There’s no question about it – Freddy always comes first. He is at the heart of every decision I make, alongside his daddy. We both play an active role in his life, and I don’t agree to the idea that “mums do more” because, honestly, I don’t relate to that. It might be the case for some mums but not for me. Yes, I’m always running around the house doing something – that’s just who I am, even before parenthood. But I still have my own life. I may not want to go out all the time, but I love the life I’ve built and the small circle of people in it. The same goes for my career. I’ll always want to grow and improve, and thankfully, I’m in a position where that’s possible. But no matter what, my little family will always come first. Everything I’ve ever dreamed of is here.

    Saying no

    Oh, this is a big one for me and I’m still learning. Saying no isn’t something that’s come easily to me in the past nor have I actually said it because I always wanted to be a people pleaser. But since becoming a mum, I’m seeing more and more that saying no is okay. I don’t have to validate my reasons, even though often it feels like I should. Now, I set boundaries to protect not only my family but my own mind. And it’s made a huge difference.

    What are the things you will never say sorry for as a parent?

  • What Does Valentine’s Day Mean to Me?

    What Does Valentine’s Day Mean to Me?

    For some people, Valentine’s Day just marks another day on their calendar but for me, it’s a little more than that.

    14th February reminds me of 2013 – the first time I received a real “Happy Valentine’s” day message. And every year since then, I’ve been lucky to wake up to that message in person from the same man, my Danny.

    It’s not about being soppy; for us it’s about keeping the romance alive. Reminding each other that the little things matter like the hugs no matter how grumpy of frustrated I might be feeling, the bar of chocolate bought from the shop because I’ve been thought of, and in fact, is something that our son has picked up from following his dad’s actions. Freddy will never let “mummy/mama” be forgotten.

    I always remember saying to Danny before we got into a relationship how he’ll get “bored of me after two weeks.” I couldn’t have been more wrong. After initially saying no to the idea of officially going into a relationship with him and looking back, life would’ve been so different eh?! We’re almost 12 years in, 2 years married, and soon to be a family of 4 in a few months.

    You can always keep the love alive if you want to. You know when people say, “Oh, when to get to my age, you don’t celebrate Valentine’s anymore.” I can honesty say that I don’t imagine that being us. It’s not about grand gestures – it’s also not just about the one day a year – it’s all year round. No matter how many Valentine’s, anniversaries, birthdays etc. have passed, Danny never fails to make an effort. It’s never less. He’s always been consistent with who he is and who he is as a partner and now husband.

    This Valentine’s, I made Danny a tray of chocolate brownies. I’m not a baker but it’s something he likes so I wanted to try. My first time baking them was during COVID and they went down a treat. Safe to say, they didn’t disappoint this time round neither! Phew!

    I got some new pyjamas from Freddy and red roses from Danny. He never forgets the things I love. I’m wearing new pyjamas right now as I write this post. And when I came home from work, there were some crafts that Freddy had made in school (cuteness overload). A card, handprints with some words, and a big picture of him holding “Love” balloons. As if my favourite part of my day wasn’t come home to him and his daddy already – seeing these made me smile even more.

    We might not be able to find time to ourselves as easily as 12 years ago, but we try where we can. Yesterday for example, it was Freddy’s parents evening and after a really lovely meeting with his teachers, we took ourselves for some food to make the most of Freddy being at nanny and grandad’s after school.

    We spent a lot of time talking about Freddy, it’s very hard not to. And we got talking about how proud we are of him. He’s come such a long way since starting school and his teachers reassured us that we made the right decision with sending him to primary school even though we had our worries.

    And throughout all, there’s a whole lot of love between the three of us. It’s important for us that Freddy sees a mummy and daddy who truly love each other, not just on Valentine’s but every day of the year. But why not make this one day extra special?

    I’ll forever show him how much he’s loved.

  • Never Forget Your Worth

    Never Forget Your Worth

    It’s so easy to be overshadowed what other people think about you or the impression they give in how they perceive you.

    As a mum, wife, friend, family member, or simply just as a human being, I’ve found it easy to put others’ needs before my own and sometimes lose sight of how much doing something for me matters. But I know that my worth isn’t defined by what I do for others, nor is it measured by their expectations. It’s tough sometimes to 100% live by this but it’s still true.

    It’s also helpful to set boundaries. I’ve heard it a lot since becoming a mum in talks of disciplining my child but it’s equally beneficial in my opinion to set certain boundaries in friendships and around family. No matter how much someone means to me, I have to set what’s right for me.

    As a parent

    As a mum, I’ve witnessed how the love, patience (on good days), and guidance I give my son, shapes his life and his childhood. My role as his mum has to come above everything else, even in moments when I feel overwhelmed or unappreciated by others. I’m guilty of losing my patience sooner on some days, especially being pregnant with his baby brother. But I understand that I play a part in what he’ll look back on when he’s older as he reminisces on his memories a child.

    One of the many things I love about my little boy, who is 3 years old, is that he never judges how I look. I could be very occasionally glammed up or I could look exactly how I do right now – with a breakout of spots on my chin, my hair in a messy bun, and wearing fluffy Stitch pyjamas, and he loves me all the same. He’s the sweetest little soul and I hope that I can always show him and his baby brother to be, the importance of remembering their worth in return. If I don’t show them how to value myself, how can I expect either of them to know how to value themselves?

    As a wife

    It would be hard to forget my value as a wife as Danny loves and appreciates me every single day. Sometimes I’ll moan, a lot. Would I be his wife if I didn’t? I’m talking about making comments that he’s left socks on the floor, or not put the rubbish in the bin, just because it’s not done as quickly as I would do it. There’s no other way like the wife way eh?! Yet, he will be still be thankful for everything I do in and outside of the house.

    Danny loves me for who I am as a person, always.

    As a friend

    As a friend, especially as someone who has drifted away from old friendships for various reasons, showing kindness, listening to their stories (the good and bad), and offering help where I can, holds a strong friendship.

    A reminder for you

    Never forget your worth. Whether you’re facing the challenges of parenting, being a good friend, or simply living your life, remember that you matter. Always.

  • Reintroducing Date Night

    Reintroducing Date Night

    Last night, me and Danny went on our first date night in what I can only describe as what felt like the first time in forever. Going out alone as “mummy” and “daddy” hits different, especially when you try not to mention your child’s name or talk about your child that’s due in a few months.

    And what did we do? We went to Nando’s of course, followed by some shopping for baby number two. We were initially planning to go to Kargo MKT at the Quays but decided to leave that for another time – maybe next time it’s just us two again.

    We felt like teenagers all excited to have quality time together. Time for just for the two of us was really needed and it gave us the reminder we needed – that we still very much love each other exactly how we are, just like we did before we became parents. With our second child incoming in a few months, it’s important that we remember to make the most of little moments like these with each other.

    We actually went on our first date to Nando’s 12 years ago so it’s nice that we still go and reminisce on our first date and everything we can look back on from then until now. Like, how did we go on nights out without coats/jackets more than half of the time and not freeze to death? A time when we also had patience to wait for a taxi outside a club or bar because we just wanted to talk the night away and be with each other.

    Not much has changed – we ended the night with a trip to Tesco to stock up on snacks and I honestly can’t even use pregnancy as an excuse because that’s just something we do. Then typical us, stood there in the chocolate and sweets aisle shocked at the increase of prices and the decrease in size of a chocolate bar compared to what they were a couple of years ago. We’re clearly in our older era now.

    Each month, we’re going to try to spend special time together whether it be at home or somewhere out for fun. We know we want to make the time but it’s just making sure we have someone to look after Freddy. One of the things that come to light when you have a child, is seeing who is really there for you. And we know who has supported us.

    Over Christmas we would hear about couples who had nights without their child/ren or days out. And we were wondering what that must feel like. It’s been a long time since Freddy stayed overnight somewhere but that’s okay. He livens up when either of us make an appearance so mummy and daddy must be so much fun! He likes us to get involved in his play which I think is super sweet. We love seeing his happy moments when he’s being creative and doing what he truly enjoys.

    So, as we headed towards the end of our few hours out, we bought a hot chocolate each and walked back to the car. And I wasn’t sick, yay! Hot drinks haven’t agreed with me in this pregnancy but I think I might finally be okay with them now since reaching the 20 weeks milestone.

    Today, we have honestly smiled more, hugged more, and just paid each other that little bit more of attention. It goes to show how much it means to spend time with the person you fell in love with no matter how much time has gone by.

    I hope this post can remind other couples that time dedicated to one another is a priority and once you are given the time, it can let all the chaos fade into background, even for those few hours at a time. It’s not a surprise that being mummy and daddy comes first, always. And it’s okay to not feel guilty for wanting time together outside of being parents.

  • Another Adventure Awaits for Us

    Another Adventure Awaits for Us

    Freddy is stuck into his school routine now over the last 3 months and he’s learning more every day. Over the Christmas holidays, he’s been saying more words, singing more songs, and just being his usual happy self. We’re so proud of him. Other than the school update, there’s more news to share…

    I’ve been in the middle of writing a blog post for weeks, no wait, a few months now. But I’ve had to stop to be sick or fall asleep. Can you guess why? I’m pregnant with baby #2! Me and Danny cannot wait to welcome our second child into the world and for Freddy to meet his baby brother or sister.

    This time round, pregnancy has been different. You might think that’s obvious with a 3 year old in the mix but it’s more morning (any time of the day) sickness and tiredness to blame. Pregnancy 1 – 0 Tasha. I’m starting to get some more energy back now though. It means I can stay awake past 7pm, most nights anyway.

    It’s no surprise that Danny has been as supportive and loving as ever. From getting me anything and everything I need/want, to making sure I’m taking my meds, to telling me to go to bed to get some more rest! I couldn’t be more grateful for him. Especially as Freddy is as energetic as ever.

    Time really has flown by and Freddy has taught me everything I know about being a mum. Him and our newborn to be will always be loved so much but Freddy will hold an extra special place in my heart as he’s been there for me just as much as I’ve been there for him. Even through the tantrums and tears, I wouldn’t be the mum I am today without him.

    The magic of Christmas this year

    To add to the happiness towards the end of this year, Freddy now understands Christmas and Father Christmas coming to visit our house (“Freddy’s house”). His face lit up on Christmas morning when he seen his presents and noticed that the cookie, carrot, and milk had gone. The difference in one whole year is crazy. He wanted to unwrap all the presents, including mine and his daddy’s!

    He was definitely tired out in the middle of Boxing Day though. All of the excitement had caught up and worn him out. That, on top of singing away to his Christmas playlist in the car. I love to see him showing his love for what he enjoys every day. My baby boy is growing up too quickly.

    And next year, we’ll have two babies to love. Freddy will be a couple of months away from being 4 years old by then but I’ll call him my baby for as many years as I can. Here’s to 2025, our new adventure awaits!