I recently wrote about things my second son has taught me and I’ve also talked about the ways my eldest has sparked light into my life too. So, it got me thinking – what do I teach them?
Always be yourself
I remember growing up, I tried so hard to “be liked” at times. From what I’d wear, how I’d do my hair, what I thought I had to be. But luckily, I realised, probably the hard way, that being someone you’re not won’t grant you a happy life. Though, I was also bullied for just trying to be myself in high school, so it goes without saying, trying to “fit into” this world is hard. But that’s the lesson – don’t try to fit in. You find your own place of where you’re supposed to be and the best people to be around.
So something I’m teaching myself as well as my boys is – to always be authentic. They’re in the world for a reason, and what better way to spend life in it than shining like the beautiful boys they really are. I don’t just mean their handsome little faces, I mean everything they do – the way they learn, smile, giggle, want to play… whatever makes them happy and want to run up to me and their daddy with excitement – never stop.
Jack has only been in the world for four months, whilst Freddy has been part of it for over four years now. But still, each of my boys do and will continue to have their own ways of shining. I’m not saying this because I’m their mum, I really do mean it. Right now, Freddy, my little sensitive soul, the boy who amazes me with his cleverness and heart – he made me want to be a mum all over again.
I can’t emphasise enough how each and every thing he does is making him into the little boy that he is today. Without him, our lives would be a lot less heavy on the reminder of being who you want to be.
Always be kind
Being kind costs nothing. And I know he’s my son – but Freddy is one of the kindest boys I know. Yes, at times he gets frustrated if he doesn’t get his own ways but he still shows so many acts of kindness in his own little ways. He shares his scooter in the playground with his friends, his ice pops (and wow, does he love ice pops!), hugs someone if they’re upset etc.
He’s gentle with his baby brother – whoever he hears Jack cry, he’ll tell him “It’s okay” and rock him, or want to help with making a bottle or changing his nappy. And with me and his daddy too – he’ll try his best to comfort us if he sees that we’re upset.
Be courageous
I’ll always encourage Freddy to speak up, try new things, stand up for what he knows is right, and not let fear hold him back. Like I said earlier, I’m a big believer in being yourself and being kind which are often ways to show bravery in a real world. Let’s be honest – kids aren’t always nice, he’s bound to hear name calling and I dread the day if I ever hear he’s being bullied. I want both Freddy and Jack, when they are older, to be able to stand up for themselves.
Some days, my boys might not feel like themselves, or want to be nice to someone who’s been mean to them but I’ll always try my hardest to remind them of all the reasons to be.
It’s sad that sometimes, people won’t be nice in this world. I’ve witnessed adults judging children as well as other adults around them. But I want my boys to now that – funny looks, opinions, nothing, should ever stop them from being who each of them want to be.
The Mama Perspective 