The Mama Perspective

Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

The voice behind the blog

Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • Six Months Postpartum: Too Soon to Know Who I Am Now

    Six Months Postpartum: Too Soon to Know Who I Am Now

    I’m almost six months postpartum with baby number two, and lately I’ve been wondering who I am now.

    Not in a dramatic, identity meltdown kind of way – more in a quiet, curious sort of way. Like when you catch your reflection and think, I look familiar, but also a little different. Being a mum of two kids does that to you eh? 

    Becoming a mum for the first time changed me in ways I expected – priorities shifted, patience stretched, sleep disappeared. But this time feels different. It’s not just an adjustment; it’s a complete reshaping. The version of me that existed before two children feels a bit blurry now. 

    I don’t know yet what parts of the “old me” will return, or whether I even want them all to.

    Who I’m becoming 

    Right now, I feel like I’m standing in the middle – one foot in the world of motherhood, the other still reaching toward something familiar. I’m still me but some days, I miss the structure and freedom of pre-baby life. Other days, I’m content to be completely absorbed by the small moments that fill these early months. Especially because within the blink of an eye, they are gone. 

    I can feel parts of myself – the one who loves to write, the mum who loves her kids, a marketing manager, but as for the rest? I guess it’s waiting quietly in the background. Not gone, just… paused, I hope. 

    Rediscovery on the horizon 

    Next year, I’ll be returning to work, and I think that transition might help me find pieces of myself again – or maybe even introduce me to stronger version of myself. 

    Something needs to help me bring myself back to the balance, you know? Not because of the job itself, but because it might remind me what it feels like to be me in a different context – one that isn’t entirely defined by motherhood. 

    But for now, I’m still here, living in the in-between.

    Learning to sit in the unknown

    There’s a lot of pressure to “bounce back” – not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. To reclaim who we were before becoming in a mum, whether it’s your first or subsequent child. But I don’t think that’s the goal. Maybe motherhood isn’t about finding the old version of yourself again, but allowing space for a new one to be comfortable in.

    Some days, that thought brings comfort. Other days, it feels like loss.

    Either way, I’m trying to trust that identity isn’t something you lose or find – it’s something you grow into, again and again, as life changes around you.

    As for now… 

    For now, it’s too soon to know who I am becoming, and maybe that’s okay. Maybe this stage – the uncertainty in the middle – is part of the becoming process itself.

    If you’re a mum who has been through this stage before, when did you start to feel like yourself again or did you discover a newer version of yourself instead? 

  • It Isn’t About Picture Perfect Brother Moments

    It Isn’t About Picture Perfect Brother Moments

    The moments of a big brother welcoming his little world into his world can be hard at first but it’s also heartwarming. 

    Ever since we found out we were pregnant and the time was right to break the news to Freddy, he was so excited to become a big brother. Although I don’t think he quite understood what it actually meant to be a big brother. I’ll be honest – parts of me and Danny (probably me for the most part) were a little worried. Will Freddy feel left out? Less important? Less loved? Will be want to love his baby brother?

    But to our surprise – from the day Jack was born and Freddy came to meet him in hospital, he came him a little teddy bear. He was a little quieter than usual because I think the realness of Jack actually being here in Freddy’s world was a shock even know he knew he was coming, he didn’t quite know what to expect.

    Since we came home just over five months ago now, Freddy has helped to make bottles, change nappies, comfort Jack (giving him is dummy, saying “it’s okay Jack”), he kisses him and says night night and sweet dreams. He doesn’t always want photos or to be told how to interact with Jack becusss he wants to find his own ways – that’s exactly what he’s doing. It isn’t always picture perfect or “instagramable” but it’s everything. 

    The fact I longed for two children and now have two boys to grow together, to hopefully become best friends in the future, reminds me to count my lucky stars every single day.

    I have a lot of tough days – some that I feel will break me but I have to remember that they won’t. I’ve come too far in motherhood and learned a lot about myself as a young woman to let that happen. I cry and I lose it sometimes. I know I’m not perfect. 

    And that’s the thing – it isn’t about perfect photos to capture the “perfect moments” like smiling for the camera in sync, though it’s nice when that does happens. It’s about the small, natural moments that no one else sees.

    It’s the quiet giggle when Freddy makes Jack laugh and the way his face lights up to follow everything his big brother does. It’s the mess, the noise, the tears, and the cuddles that somehow make everything okay again.

    The fact that Freddy knows different ways to settle Jack shows how much he’s watching and listening, and really wants to help him. My heart melts.

    Learning as I go

    Motherhood, for me, has never been tidy or predictable. I think that’s why I’ve struggled at times. I’m a tidy person and I like order!

    It’s learning as I go, forgiving myself when I fall short, and finding a way to handle the chaos. Watching Freddy step into his big brother role has shown me that love doesn’t always need to be taught. Sometimes, it just grows naturally, in its own imperfect way.

    There will be days when I’ll still worry about whether I’m doing enough, giving enough, being enough. But then I see the two of my boys together, and I’m reminded that I’m doing okay even if I don’t feel it every day. 

    Because this is what it’s all about – the real – messy but beautiful moments that make our little family what it is.

  • Not for the Scale, But for Me: 100 Days of Choosing Myself

    Not for the Scale, But for Me: 100 Days of Choosing Myself

    Yesterday marked 100 days in a row since I started my calorie counting journey. I haven’t done it to be obsessed with the numbers or lose a drastic amount of weight. Here’s why I did do it though.

    I have an under active thyroid so losing weight is difficult as it is. And I love my food, a lot! Still, I knew there must be something I could do. 

    What made me begin?

    I was around one month postpartum with my second child (Jack) and I was thinking about what I could do this time round to feel better about myself. Now, let me just say, my goal wasn’t/isn’t to look perfect, become drastically thin, or appeal to anyone. It’s about me – how I feel within myself. I wouldn’t say I love myself as much as I used to when I was younger but I’m learning to accept my new body and the person I’ve become since being a mum and battling some low self esteem and anxiety issues over the years. 

    At first, I’ll admit, I probably wasn’t calorie counting in the healthiest way. I was losing weight so much quicker this time round early postpartum that I was weighing myself daily, sometimes twice. I had to see the number going down otherwise I wasn’t happy. Eventually, I told myself to be less harsh and started to weigh myself every other day, then once a week, and now I’m not sure when I last did. But I remember that the number has stayed the time. Maybe I need to try harder? Or my body might just be where it needs to be now? Either way, I feel comfortable in my body. I’m nothing like my 21 year old self – but I’m not supposed to be. I’ve carried and birthed two children and also grown into a woman. 

    Go back a few months ago, I was skipping meals. I was feeling so tired in the evenings that I said I told myself I wasn’t hungry even if I was. Luckily, my husband always knew when I needed food the most. It’s the way to my heart! And he always did his best to get some food down me, if it was tea and toast some nights.

    Calorie counting has helped me realise just how much I love snacks and food as if I didn’t know that already. And when you’re married to another foodie, well, it ain’t half the challenge to improve eating habits. We’ve done it together though which has been good. 

    The more I entered food into the MyFitness Pal app, I was appalled at the calories on screen as if it was lying to me. It was a “What do you meeean?!” kinda moment. 

    Having a calorie deficit and making small adjustments has helped me to reduce the amount of snacks I used to eat daily, be more mindful of what’s going in my body, and also realise the relationship between my food and what that meant in terms of the types of food I thought I wanted. 

    What about staying active? 

    I’m nowhere near as fit as I used to be. Runner me, who? I’ve thought about the gym. I’ve been before, pre-babies, never as an every day goer but mostly on weekends. Then it became an occasional thing once I had Freddy (my first child). And to be honest, this time round, I just haven’t had a feel for it like I thought I would when I hit six weeks postpartum. I’ve taken the time to listen to my body rather than meeting society’s standards for postpartum life and I feel much better for it. It kinda makes me feel sad that I wasn’t this way with Freddy.

    So, after having Jack, I decided to be active in other ways. Chasing two kids around is bound to count as one way, right?! But the other is, walking. It might not sound like much but when your daily steps go from 2-3k to 15k some days, that’s a huge difference. I try to walk wherever I can. And pushing a pram round makes it all the more of a workout! I’m going to miss the benefit of moving around so much when I’m back at work next year so I’m going to try to make the most of it for as long as I can. 

    How am I feeling today? 

    Today, I’m one stone and two pounds lighter since around the 2-3 postpartum mark. Although, I’ve been around this weight for the last couple of months since my thyroid reverted back to hypothyroidism after thyroxine was working overdrive on my body – great!

    You might be wondering why I carried on looking at the food choices I’m making when my weight seems to stay the same now. And it’s because I still care – I want to keep all the hard work I’ve made.

    I’ve learned that taking care of myself doesn’t have to be all or nothing. It’s about progress, not perfection. It what feels good for me. It’s a walk with the pram. It’s making a better food choice, but also enjoying the foods I love because I’m making the better choices first. It’s looking in the mirror and slowly learning to say, “I’m doing okay.”

    If you’re a mum reading this and you’re feeling stuck, tired, or unsure where to begin – just know, you don’t have to do it all at once. Ha, my husband is gonna give me a look for saying that when I struggle to listen to my own words sometimes! Start small. It doesn’t always have to go smoothly. But do it for you.

    Because you deserve to feel good – not for anyone else, but for yourself.

Anxiety Confidence Family Mental Health Mindset Motherhood Parenthood Parenting Positivity Postpartum Self Esteem Wellness