The Mama Perspective

Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

The voice behind the blog

Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • There’s No Such Thing As a Perfect Mum

    There’s No Such Thing As a Perfect Mum

    You could be an amazing mum, a superhero mum to your kids, but a perfect mum? Nope. Because perfect mums don’t exist and never have.

    This blog is all about sharing the real and raw moments of motherhood – it’s messy, beautiful, exhausting, rewarding, and sometimes (a lot of the time) chaotic. One minute you’re prepping food and singing nursery rhymes, and the next you’re happy to be sat on the toilet to have a minute to yourself. That’s not a reflection of a “bad mum” but a picture of a real mum who’s human. And yet, somehow, there’s still this pressure to aim for “perfection” in parenting, as if you’re only doing it right if you make healthy snacks and have regular screen-free time.

    The truth is being a good mum has nothing to do with being perfect. It’s about showing up, again and again, even when you’re running on empty. It’s about the cuddles in the middle of the night, the little “I love you” whispers, the scraped knees that are magically made better with a kiss from mama, and the times you say sorry when you lose your temper – because you do lose your temper. We all do.

    I’ve cried at times when I’ve looked back and wondered if I could’ve handled a situation better. But in the moment, emotions run high and being over stimulated is tough, especially when you’re juggling so much at once.

    Painting the “perfect” picture

    Do you ever scroll through social media and see perfectly captured photos of kids and mums who look like they just stepped out of a beauty salon? And you must have seen those mums who look like they’ve been into a beauty salon inside the hospital before giving birth! What you don’t see are the tantrums just before that photo was taken, the guilt behind the smiles, or the sleepless nights. You also don’t see the mum who looks drained or the tears running down her face some nights.

    Comparing yourself to that kind of curated content is a losing game anyway. Because real motherhood doesn’t fit neatly into social media trends.

    Kids don’t need a perfect mum

    Children need a present mum. Someone who listens and loves fiercely. A mum who makes mistakes and owns up to them. Someone who’s human. Because in showing your children that you’re imperfect, you show them that they can be imperfect too. I wish there was more authenticity in the world.

    Whenever you shout, cry, forget something important, or just feel like you wasn’t enough, next time take a breath. You’re not alone as isolating as it can feel at times. Those moments don’t make you a bad mum, it makes you a real one. And being real is far better than being perfect.

    Accept the hard days and all the feelings that it includes but don’t struggle alone. Celebrate the good days, anything little wins that mean something for you, let them make you smile. You’re not supposed to be perfect, you’re supposed to be you. And to your kids? That’s enough.

    This post has been written from my experience as a mum to a newborn and a three year old.

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  • Freddy’s First Year of Primary School in Nursery

    Freddy’s First Year of Primary School in Nursery

    In just a few weeks, Freddy will be finishing his final term in nursery. It’s hard to believe how quickly this year has flown by. Come September, he’ll be heading into reception with his little group of friends – ready (and more than a little excited) for this next big step.

    If you’ve been a reader on my blog for a while you might remember when I wrote about how I felt about my son starting primary school last year. I honestly can’t believe how quickly the past 9 months have flown by. So much has changed – we’ve welcomed a second baby, to start with, and Freddy has made amazing progress with his speech and language, thanks to all the learning and support he’s getting at school. Here are a few things I’ve noticed along the way.

    Confidence with his speech

    There are still moments when some people have trouble understanding him because he talks so quickly, but we’ve definitely seen a huge improvement in his speech since starting primary school. He’s using more sentences now and picking up new words every day. About a year ago, I had a lot of worries about how he’d settle in at school, especially after the paediatrician said it would be “interesting to see how he interacts with the other kids in his class.” Comments like that really made me second guess things and brought on a lot of anxiety.

    Freddy is my firstborn – he’s the one who’s taught me everything I know about being a mama. From the newborn days to toddlerhood, and now, as he’s about to turn four in August (cue the tears).

    We’ve seen so much progress, especially through his love learning through songs and his new interest in reading books. Today, he had his first assembly, and when it was his turn to take the microphone and share his favourite thing at school, he beamed and said, “I like Stickman!” Stickman is one of his favourite books. My heart completely melted. It was such a big moment for both me and Danny to witness. And his teachers have also noticed his love for phonics too.

    Maths is still his strongest skill, and honestly, he amazes me every day. Whether it’s number sequences, sums, times tables, or square numbers – he’s always impressing me with how quickly he picks things up.

    Understanding and accepting change

    We used to wonder if Freddy would always stay so fixated on things – like certain cartoons, specific routes, and his routines. But after a few months in primary school, he really surprised us. It wasn’t easy, and most days were a struggle, but there’s definitely been a shift. Of course, there are still tough moments – when isn’t there with kids? But I’m so proud of how far he’s come. And it’s not just that generic “I’m proud” that you hear from every parent. It’s more about how, at one point, we really didn’t know if there would ever be an end to the struggle. I’ll admit, I even wondered if Freddy would stand out too much in his class or just not enjoy school.

    Freddy has shown us such a big change – he really loves learning. I’m so grateful to his nursery teacher and teaching assistant for everything they’ve done to support him. It’s not just about the usual learning goals in class; they’ve gone above and beyond. They made a real effort to help Freddy understand the big change of having a baby brother, and they even joined in on the excitement in the lead up to his birth and once he arrived into the world. That’s something I’ll always remember and hold close.

    Making friends

    Making friends was never really something I worried about, but the paediatrician did mention that Freddy didn’t talk about his friends much or name them specifically. At just shy of three years old, I knew we just had to give it time. And she’s only met him the once during an approx. 50 mins appointment. Now, fast forward 10 months, Freddy has such a sweet group of friends. He lists them all with the biggest smile on his face.

    Even better, Danny and I have made some great new friendships with other mums and dads at school too. It honestly feels like these people were meant to come into our lives. They really get parenting, they understand the challenges, and there’s no judgement.

    What’s next?

    The battle with his eating hasn’t changed much. Freddy has his favourites, but after talking to more parents at school and connecting with other mums and dads, we’re realising it’s really not that big of an issue as it feels to us. He’s still so young, and things could change. Although he won’t eat home cooked meals with us, Freddy loves his fruit, carrot, parsnip, cucumber etc. so he’s still getting goodness in him. I guess his diet just isn’t as balanced as it could be.

    He’s thriving in so many ways, and honestly, we just need to focus on celebrating the good stuff more.

    Here’s to the summer holidays! It’s the first time I’ll have a whole six weeks at home with Freddy off school. It’s definitely going to be a bit of a juggle, but I’m really looking forward to spending time with both my boys. No doubt I’ll be leaning on some mum friends to help me get through the chaos!

  • 4 Weeks In: 3 Things I’m Proud of During My Postpartum Journey

    4 Weeks In: 3 Things I’m Proud of During My Postpartum Journey

    Most people who know me well enough have always known I wanted another child – a baby brother or sister for Freddy. And I couldn’t have been happier welcoming a healthy baby boy into the world again 4 weeks ago. When I became a mum for the first time almost 4 years ago, I created this mum blog, and since then have connected with other mums and motherhood channels online, and entered a few giveaways where I’ve been lucky to win! A Bluey seat cushion, a Pampers bundle gifted from B&Ms, and the most exciting one – a stroller from Graco! 

    Adjusting to motherhood whether it be as a first time mum or a second, third, or more, there are always going to be feelings of anxiety. Take me for one – I’ve felt and still do in this newborn period all over again, overwhelmed – by people, feelings, situations etc. it’s hard. But it doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it. Sometimes, as selfish as it sounds, I just want to be in our own family bubble. 

    I created this blog to share real life experiences of motherhood, the highs and the lows remember? Just like I said in my previous blog post, motherhood isn’t perfect and neither am I. So, here are some honest things I’m proud to have done in my second born’s first four weeks of life amidst the low mood and tiredness in between here and there. 

    Making it to the supermarket

    In week one, I walked to our local Lidl just down the road, what a god send it is that it’s recently been built in time for my maternity leave! It’s always one way I can get out of the house. At first I just went with Jack on his pram then the second time round during week two, I walked there with Jack and Freddy. There weren’t any major meltdowns, just had to chase Freddy up and down the fruit aisle! What’s a boy without his bananas, apples, pears, strawberries and grapes?!

    A trip into town

    I’ve taken two trips into town with Jack but my favourite was a recent solo trip on the bus. The sun was shining too so that was a bonus. I managed to pick up everything on my shopping list and finally went to the Disney Stitch Cafe inside Primark, Manchester. Highly recommend if you’re a Stitch fan like me and you’re into a mixture of music from the 70s/80s/90s era.

    A few people stopped me to ask how old Jack was and some even asked if my baby was a boy or girl because of his long eyelashes!

    Prioritising self care when I can

    This time around, I’m getting out of bed more, showering more, and leaving the house more often. And while those are definitely wins, I’ll be honest – I don’t feel amazing, and I definitely haven’t bounced back. But I’m okay. I’ve got Danny, cuddles from my boys, and a good cup of tea or coffee to help get me through the harder days.

    A baby is only a newborn for 8 weeks. So, that means Jack is half way through this stage already. I’m going to try my best to cherish as much of this time as I can and make the most of continuing to go on lots of walks together.

Anxiety Confidence Family Mental Health Mindset Motherhood Parenthood Parenting Positivity Postpartum Self Esteem Wellness