The Mama Perspective

Soon, Freddy will become a big brother. As we prepare to welcome his little brother, we know there’s going to be a big adjustment ahead for all three of us (him, me, and his daddy). But with that change also comes more love, more laughter, and a growing bond in our family.

Lately, I’ve been trying to soak up all the little moments with Freddy, knowing that soon things will shift. At the same time, I’ll admit that I’ve had a shorter fuse than usual. Pregnancy hormones and exhaustion are definitely part of it, and Freddy’s own mix of emotions and frustration some days can be tough to navigate. Still, I’m learning to meet those moments with as much calm and patience as I can.

Parenting really is a constant learning curve, isn’t it?

Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. Even on the harder days, there’s always more light in my life with Freddy. He reminds me daily that love and growth often show up in the quiet, in between moments.

Learning with my son

I’ve been soaking up more one-on-one time with him after school and in the evenings whenever I can. We sit on his bedroom floor while he shows me how he draws shapes wanting to trace them across both pages of his notepad like little mirror images. I think he might be learning about symmetry at school.

Sometimes he asks me to write out the alphabet, and then he’ll proudly tell me a word for each letter. His whole face lights up as he speaks – there’s this spark, like he knows he’s doing something amazing. And he is. I’m so proud of all he’s discovering and everything he’s starting to love, especially his colours, his love for numbers, and the way he pieces together sequences and sums with such cleverness and happiness.

Extra cuddles

Knowing that his little brother will be here soon, I’m holding Freddy just a little more, a little tighter, whenever I can. I can already imagine how big he’ll look next to a tiny newborn, as our home fills with the soft, newness of a baby again. To be honest, most of the time, I probably need those cuddles more than he does. There’s something about the comfort of holding him close that makes everything feel better like the world fades into the background and all that matters is this moment. I know I’ll keep holding him close once his baby brother arrives, too. Well, for as long as he’ll let me!

The battle with fussy eating

Yep, Freddy is still very selective about what he eats, despite Danny and me trying all sorts of things. We’ve created excitement around food, tried new combinations, and still, he knows exactly what he likes. He’ll pick out foods when we’re shopping (broccoli, potatoes, and sweet peppers top the list), and when he spots pizza, he lights up. He even plays a game on CBeebies where he makes a pizza for mummy and daddy!

When it comes to fruit, he’s brilliant. He’ll eat bananas, strawberries, pears, apples, oranges…you name it. He also loves cucumber, cheese and crackers, soup on occasion, sandwiches with cheese or ham sometimes, mini sausage rolls, toast, and cereal. Oh, and I can’t forget his his love for mashed apple, carrot, and parsnip combo – it’s been a favourite since he was a baby.

We often find ourselves thinking, “Maybe we won’t go through this with our second child” – but who knows? Freddy used to eat hot meals with us, and loved such a variety, like scrambled eggs, spaghetti bolognese, and bits of roast dinner. We’re still waiting to hear from his paediatrician – it’s been 9 months since his last appointment. When he gets upset about food, he’ll hide his bowl or plate in a cupboard, out of sight. I really hope we can get more help soon.

The pressure of parenting never goes away

There’s always someone ready to comment on your parenting choices. Right now, we’re doing our best to ignore the opinions and focus on what matters most to us – raising a happy and healthy child. In the past, I was a little worried about Freddy’s speech and communication, wondering if he’s where he “should” be, but after giving it some time, especially since starting school last September, we’ve seen huge progress. We can notice it, even if others don’t.

Another thing that’s been harder than we expected is figuring out when and how to wean him off his “nighttime nappies.” He’s toilet trained during the day, but still relies on nighttime pants because his body doesn’t yet tell him to wake up and go to the toilet when he needs to wee at night. I’ve read that it’s normal for some 3-year-olds and that it can take time for their bodies to recognise those nighttime signals.

Then there’s his bottle. He still loves it at night for comfort – he’s definitely a cup of tea lover, just like his mama! Freddy’s been going to the dentist since he was about 6 months old, and we’ve kept up with regular checkups every 6 months since. There are no concerns about his dental health, but we’re hoping to eventually wean him off the bottle – it’s just a bit trickier than we thought. A few months ago, he showed some progress when he was only relying on it for sleep about 3-4 nights a week, even without any fluid, just to chew on the teat!

I might still be trying to rush things in my own mind, I don’t know. We’re going to try to get Freddy to “give his bottle to baby brother” once he’s here because Freddy is such a “big boy now” so we’ll see how that goes.

Even with all the wonderings that go on in my mind, I need to remind myself to celebrate the good moments more, especially when it comes to praising Freddy for all the wonderful things he can do. I can’t believe he’s going to be 4 years old in August. Maybe I’ll do a little update post after then.

Stay posted for new baby brother updates over at The Mama Perspective on TikTok.