I’ve only just realised that Children’s Mental Health Week takes place a couple of weeks after Parents Mental Health Week. Anyway, it got me thinking about how I see things differently since becoming a mum. Things being I’m always figuring out what I need to do, giving my absolute best, so my son has the love he needs.
Children have feelings, just like adults. If you were crying, would you expect your partner, friend, colleague to not be concerned and leave you alone? No? So, why in today’s world do we still hear, “Let them cry it out”? I understand that kids need to learn that they can’t always get their own way. But there’s a big difference in ignoring your child’s feelings and trying to understand why they’re feeling the way they do.
Regardless of whether my son is having a tantrum or if he’s genuinely upset, either merits a cuddle and attention for me or his dad in my attention. He clearly needs to communicate something to us but can’t also do so with words. And the more upset he gets, the harder it would be to comfort him if he was left alone. I want to teach Freddy that it’s okay to be upset but to know that mummy and daddy are always here for him.
Night or day, we’re here. We might feel like a zombie from time to time or wonder where we’re going to get our energy from but we make it work. Together, we make sure Freddy has what he needs to be happy. I’m not talking about “spoiling him” although some people might look at it that way. We know what he likes and how he likes things. Just because we’re the adults and he’s the child, doesn’t mean he can’t tell us how things are going to go. Let’s be honest, as much as you plan, things don’t always go how you want them to.
So, with the tantrums and upset aside, there’s so much love, an indescribable kind. The type of love that tells you, there’s always something and someone to come home to who will make everything better with their little but big smile. The days when your little one will run up to you or give you a spontaneous kiss or cuddle – there’s nothing like it.
Children deserve for their emotions to be taken seriously. As a mum, I’ll always try my best to make sure Freddy knows his emotions are heard and do what I can to help when he’s feeling sad or frustrated.
Whenever he’s feeling happy or excited, he’s got himself into a habit of saying “Yay!” at things like at the end of completing an activity, singing a song, or finishing the alphabet or a number song.
Whilst I went through a tough time adjusting to life as a first time mum, only due to my own struggles of people pleasing and pressures from comments around me, Freddy has helped me more than he’ll ever know. He’s given me more reason to always work on myself and reminds me how important it is to look after myself so I can look after him.
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The Mama Perspective 