The Mama Perspective

Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

The voice behind the blog

Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • The Beautiful Chaos of Motherhood

    The Beautiful Chaos of Motherhood

    Motherhood – a journey that began on the day I found out I was pregnant with my son. From the sweetest sound of giggles and lots of cuddles, it really gives you the most heartwarming feeling. Anyone who is part of the motherhood tribe, knows that it’s also a whirlwind of chaos but the most beautiful time of your life.

    1. Morning madness
      I’ve always been an early riser in the morning but as my son is a toddler now, I do wonder if he’ll be awake earlier or later than usual. Once he wakes up and I hear him chatting away to himself and his teddies, it makes me and his dad smile so much.
    2. Multitasking
      From unloading the washing machine to singing “If you’re happy and you know it…” to your toddler. Meanwhile, wishing you hadn’t let another cup of tea go cold.
    3. Messy but cute stuff
      Finger prints on the walls and cupboards, Cheerios and Wotsits crumbs on the floor, Lego blocks piles on the and another book, you get it. It used to be hard for me because I lovely a tidy, clean home but now I remind myself, that these messy moments won’t be around forever.
    4. Bedtime
      Where did the saying “slept like a baby” even come from? It’s not always warm cuddly moments; it can be pretending to fall asleep in the hope your child will; trying to avoid eye contact; or hoping they don’t grab another toy. But when my son is asleep, I look through photos of him on my phone and start to miss him. A good night’s sleep is always bliss though.
    5. Snacks and more snacks
      Give me crisps and I’m a happy woman. In fact, let’s say crisps, chocolate, chips, and anything that my husband thinks is just for him to enjoy! Sometimes a snack, let’s be honest multiple snacks, gives you what you need during the chaotic moments in motherhood.
    6. Emptying the washing basket
      I feel like I’ve accomplished something great when I manage to empty my son’s washing basket but then… there’s the pile of clothes hanging out of the bigger one that belongs to me and his dad.
    7. Embracing the chaos
      From the spilled milk, tantrums (especially during that terrible two stage), and never-ending piles of clothes to be washed, there’s an indescribable love that overpowers all the chaos. It’s in those sweet cuddles, kisses, and grabbing my hand to see where my son wants to go. That’s it – the love – it makes it all worth it.

    So, to all the mums out there, know that you’re not alone. Embrace the mayhem, cherish the giggles and smiles, and hold onto those moments that you’ll never get back but stay in your memory forever.

  • Navigating Through the Challenges of Milestone Anxiety

    Navigating Through the Challenges of Milestone Anxiety

    Did you know that milestone anxiety is a thing? Yep, Google it and you’ll find out. We live in a world where someone at least once will ask, when you’ll learn to drive, get married, have kids, the list goes on. For me though, I don’t think it’s ever been about those things. I started to feel milestone anxiety when I became a mum to my son or maybe even during pregnancy. I feel like there’s a lot of pressure in society to reach their milestones including social media, what you see of other kids in nursery or school, and comments from people can heighten how you feel.

    Personally, as a first-time mum, I worry a lot. It was a part of me before my son was born. I can’t help but wonder if ‘everything is okay’. Whether it be if my son is doing things he should be by his age or if I am really doing the best I can to be the mum he needs, and the wife to my husband.

    When it comes to my son, I tend to wonder if I need to do something better to motivate him to reach new milestones. For example, people will ask, how many words can he say? He still loves his bottle doesn’t he? Does he take his blanket everywhere with him? And I can’t help but worry if I need to try more; to take those things away. Maybe I do but right now, he just isn’t ready. The child across the room is different and the person asking you all these questions isn’t or hasn’t been the perfect parent either.

    Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve spoken about a few times about how, as adults, we rarely sit in a room and wonder when between the 2, 3, 4, 5-year-old mark, did we start to speak with sentences, recognise animal noises, understand how to count, or let go of the things that used to comfort us when we were younger.

    I wish we could live in a world where we let kids be kids, in fact, in my son’s case, still a baby (2 years old). Okay, I know he’s technically a toddler but he’s only been in the world for two years. To rush him into the things he isn’t ready to do, just doesn’t seem right to me. He surprises us every day and I know a lot can change within a few months. We, as his mum and dad, will do everything to help him but we’re proud of him nonetheless.

    He shines in everything he does, no matter how much more or little it is compared to other children. Comparison is the worst. It’s not fair on the child when they are so happy. I’m guilty of it and need to try to stop how of this I do of it.

    Similar to what I said earlier about worrying, the same goes for comparing to others when I was growing up, seeing how I could be or look like someone else. Today, again, guilty! BUT the difference is, it’s more so on wanting to be the best mum and wife. The way I look affects me from day to day with weight changes, or bad skin days. Whatever it is, my therapist has taught me to outweigh those negative thoughts about my image to all the good things I’ve done in a day e.g. made my son smile, told him and my husband I love them, gave them both extra cuddles, put all the shopping and washing away (sometimes productivity is about the small wins).

    Oh, and the same goes for a woman ‘bouncing back’ after they reach a certain time of postpartum life. Sorry, but I’m two years in and I’m still learning about the new version of myself, every damn day. It’s hard but I much prefer the side of me that prioritises my mental health, family, and what’s important. I don’t have my pre-mum body, the energy to socialise/party as much, or patience with day to day life (not sure if I ever really did have that to be fair) but you know!

    Milestone anxiety stays with me but I know now that if I let it challenge me for the better, I will win. I always wondered if I would ever make it – being a mum and a wife. It’s the most magical journey I’ve been on and to have achieved each of the two, is everything. Sure, everyone has their own path in life but this is mine and no matter how it looks on the outside, it’s different from anyone else’s.

    The next time milestone anxiety hits you, stop and give yourself a break. Before it gets to you too much, try something to focus on, like exercising or a new hobby. Getting back to writing is helping me. I’ve always loved having a space to let my thoughts out and resonate with others. So, I hope at least one of my readers can take something away from this post.

  • Is Today a Good Day?

    Is Today a Good Day?

    Too often, I’ve had one of those days and tell myself that tomorrow is a new day. But really, I think it’s all about mindset. How you see a good day or a bad day might be different to someone else’s version. Maybe a change in how you see what’s good can make a difference. Here’s what I mean…

    For me, how I wake up in the morning tends to affect how the rest of my day goes, for the most part anyway. So, if I wake up feeling groggy and tired, sometimes I’ll tell myself I don’t wanna do today or I don’t know if I can do today. Truth is, until I physically get up and do what I’ve tried to avoid, it doesn’t turn out to be as bad as I think it’s going to be.

    I find it so easy to be triggered by the side of my brain that worries about something before it’s happened, or to think hypothetically and create what if scenarios. But how about changing those thoughts to what if I can make today a good day?

    Not everything is in my control, that’s life. I know I can make a difference though to remember that sometimes, how I feel is down to how I react to news/events and what I’ve witnessed day-to-day. Other times, people or life itself is just challenging. It’s almost like I’m feeling tested from time to time.

    A good day for me can range from getting up out of bed in the morning and having a shower to enjoying a cup of tea and having a moment to myself. It can be waking up to my husband and son, to see a smile on their face. A good day is also when I laugh a lot unexpectedly; having genuine conversations with nice people; or achieving a personal goal.

    From here now on, I’m going to try harder to bring myself back to the circle of things that make me happier and help to put me in a better place mentally and physically. I’ve spent too much time beating myself up over little things. All good days are to treasure, to learn, and appreciate the things and people you love.

Anxiety Confidence Family Mental Health Mindset Motherhood Parenthood Parenting Positivity Postpartum Self Esteem Wellness