The Mama Perspective | Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

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Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • Freddy’s First Year of Primary School in Nursery

    Freddy’s First Year of Primary School in Nursery

    In just a few weeks, Freddy will be finishing his final term in nursery. It’s hard to believe how quickly this year has flown by. Come September, he’ll be heading into reception with his little group of friends – ready (and more than a little excited) for this next big step.

    If you’ve been a reader on my blog for a while you might remember when I wrote about how I felt about my son starting primary school last year. I honestly can’t believe how quickly the past 9 months have flown by. So much has changed – we’ve welcomed a second baby, to start with, and Freddy has made amazing progress with his speech and language, thanks to all the learning and support he’s getting at school. Here are a few things I’ve noticed along the way.

    Confidence with his speech

    There are still moments when some people have trouble understanding him because he talks so quickly, but we’ve definitely seen a huge improvement in his speech since starting primary school. He’s using more sentences now and picking up new words every day. About a year ago, I had a lot of worries about how he’d settle in at school, especially after the paediatrician said it would be “interesting to see how he interacts with the other kids in his class.” Comments like that really made me second guess things and brought on a lot of anxiety.

    Freddy is my firstborn – he’s the one who’s taught me everything I know about being a mama. From the newborn days to toddlerhood, and now, as he’s about to turn four in August (cue the tears).

    We’ve seen so much progress, especially through his love learning through songs and his new interest in reading books. Today, he had his first assembly, and when it was his turn to take the microphone and share his favourite thing at school, he beamed and said, “I like Stickman!” Stickman is one of his favourite books. My heart completely melted. It was such a big moment for both me and Danny to witness. And his teachers have also noticed his love for phonics too.

    Maths is still his strongest skill, and honestly, he amazes me every day. Whether it’s number sequences, sums, times tables, or square numbers – he’s always impressing me with how quickly he picks things up.

    Understanding and accepting change

    We used to wonder if Freddy would always stay so fixated on things – like certain cartoons, specific routes, and his routines. But after a few months in primary school, he really surprised us. It wasn’t easy, and most days were a struggle, but there’s definitely been a shift. Of course, there are still tough moments – when isn’t there with kids? But I’m so proud of how far he’s come. And it’s not just that generic “I’m proud” that you hear from every parent. It’s more about how, at one point, we really didn’t know if there would ever be an end to the struggle. I’ll admit, I even wondered if Freddy would stand out too much in his class or just not enjoy school.

    Freddy has shown us such a big change – he really loves learning. I’m so grateful to his nursery teacher and teaching assistant for everything they’ve done to support him. It’s not just about the usual learning goals in class; they’ve gone above and beyond. They made a real effort to help Freddy understand the big change of having a baby brother, and they even joined in on the excitement in the lead up to his birth and once he arrived into the world. That’s something I’ll always remember and hold close.

    Making friends

    Making friends was never really something I worried about, but the paediatrician did mention that Freddy didn’t talk about his friends much or name them specifically. At just shy of three years old, I knew we just had to give it time. And she’s only met him the once during an approx. 50 mins appointment. Now, fast forward 10 months, Freddy has such a sweet group of friends. He lists them all with the biggest smile on his face.

    Even better, Danny and I have made some great new friendships with other mums and dads at school too. It honestly feels like these people were meant to come into our lives. They really get parenting, they understand the challenges, and there’s no judgement.

    What’s next?

    The battle with his eating hasn’t changed much. Freddy has his favourites, but after talking to more parents at school and connecting with other mums and dads, we’re realising it’s really not that big of an issue as it feels to us. He’s still so young, and things could change. Although he won’t eat home cooked meals with us, Freddy loves his fruit, carrot, parsnip, cucumber etc. so he’s still getting goodness in him. I guess his diet just isn’t as balanced as it could be.

    He’s thriving in so many ways, and honestly, we just need to focus on celebrating the good stuff more.

    Here’s to the summer holidays! It’s the first time I’ll have a whole six weeks at home with Freddy off school. It’s definitely going to be a bit of a juggle, but I’m really looking forward to spending time with both my boys. No doubt I’ll be leaning on some mum friends to help me get through the chaos!

  • 4 Weeks In: 3 Things I’m Proud of During My Postpartum Journey

    4 Weeks In: 3 Things I’m Proud of During My Postpartum Journey

    Most people who know me well enough have always known I wanted another child – a baby brother or sister for Freddy. And I couldn’t have been happier welcoming a healthy baby boy into the world again 4 weeks ago. When I became a mum for the first time almost 4 years ago, I created this mum blog, and since then have connected with other mums and motherhood channels online, and entered a few giveaways where I’ve been lucky to win! A Bluey seat cushion, a Pampers bundle gifted from B&Ms, and the most exciting one – a stroller from Graco! 

    Adjusting to motherhood whether it be as a first time mum or a second, third, or more, there are always going to be feelings of anxiety. Take me for one – I’ve felt and still do in this newborn period all over again, overwhelmed – by people, feelings, situations etc. it’s hard. But it doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it. Sometimes, as selfish as it sounds, I just want to be in our own family bubble. 

    I created this blog to share real life experiences of motherhood, the highs and the lows remember? Just like I said in my previous blog post, motherhood isn’t perfect and neither am I. So, here are some honest things I’m proud to have done in my second born’s first four weeks of life amidst the low mood and tiredness in between here and there. 

    Making it to the supermarket

    In week one, I walked to our local Lidl just down the road, what a god send it is that it’s recently been built in time for my maternity leave! It’s always one way I can get out of the house. At first I just went with Jack on his pram then the second time round during week two, I walked there with Jack and Freddy. There weren’t any major meltdowns, just had to chase Freddy up and down the fruit aisle! What’s a boy without his bananas, apples, pears, strawberries and grapes?!

    A trip into town

    I’ve taken two trips into town with Jack but my favourite was a recent solo trip on the bus. The sun was shining too so that was a bonus. I managed to pick up everything on my shopping list and finally went to the Disney Stitch Cafe inside Primark, Manchester. Highly recommend if you’re a Stitch fan like me and you’re into a mixture of music from the 70s/80s/90s era.

    A few people stopped me to ask how old Jack was and some even asked if my baby was a boy or girl because of his long eyelashes!

    Prioritising self care when I can

    This time around, I’m getting out of bed more, showering more, and leaving the house more often. And while those are definitely wins, I’ll be honest – I don’t feel amazing, and I definitely haven’t bounced back. But I’m okay. I’ve got Danny, cuddles from my boys, and a good cup of tea or coffee to help get me through the harder days.

    A baby is only a newborn for 8 weeks. So, that means Jack is half way through this stage already. I’m going to try my best to cherish as much of this time as I can and make the most of continuing to go on lots of walks together.

  • Some Honest Truths about Motherhood

    Some Honest Truths about Motherhood

    Motherhood isn’t perfect but the love is constant.

    Motherhood isn’t always picture-perfect. Some days feel heavy and are really hard. Some moments stretch you to your limits. And some days you can’t even describe why you feel low or as fed up as you do, but it happens. And yet, through all of it, one thing remains, the love for your kids.

    If you’re a new reader – I’ve recently become a mum of two. So, now I have a 3 year old son, and a 3 week old son! Adjusting in these first few weeks hasn’t been easy but it’s got me thinking about the love I still have for my boys no matter what kind of day goes by.

    I can feel low and still love my kids

    There are days when the weight of everything feels too much. I might not always be smiling or upbeat, but the love I have for my boys is constant, no matter my mood, even on the days where my patience is really tested!

    I can feel overwhelmed and still love my kids

    When the house is noisy from toys, laughs, cries, when the washing is still piling up no matter how many loads I do a day, and the to-do list won’t end, I can feel like I’m drowning but I still love my boys and they are my one true meaning in life.

    I can feel tired and still love my kids

    Sleepless nights, early mornings, and everything in between can make me feel so drained but even when I’m exhausted, I still try my best to show up with love. I’m not perfect, I don’t always get it right but I try.

    I can shout when I’m all touched out but I still love my kids

    There are moments when I reach my edge, when I raise my voice because I’m overstimulated and I just want the noise and stress to stop. That doesn’t make my love any less real.

    I can cry when it all feels too much but I still love my kids.

    Tears don’t mean weakness. They mean I’m human. I’m just a mum doing my best. And through the cries the love for my boys doesn’t go anywhere.

    I can get frustrated by all the noise but I still love my kids

    The chaos of loud playing, the cries, the meltdowns – it’s a lot for any parent, right? Sometimes I need quiet, space, and calm. That doesn’t mean I don’t treasure my boys, it means I’m learning how to care for myself so I can care for them the best I can.

    No day is perfect

    Some days are chaotic and so damn hard. Feeling all of the above, someone might wonder, “Why did you ever want kids? Or a second one at that?” And I’ll always say, because there’s no love like it. It’s hard but it’s so worth it.

    I will always, always love my boys.

    They are the best decision I’ve ever made, and no hard moment, no loud meltdown, no stretch of exhaustion will ever change that.

    Motherhood isn’t about being perfect. It’s about showing up – imperfectly too – and with all the love in my heart. Just the other day, my eldest son had his first Sports Day and I got the experience the importance of showing up perspective as a mum. It was one of the most heartwarming moments I’ve ever experienced. His little face lit up and it was everything.

    I take motherhood one day at a time. And I’m trying to remind myself that kids and parents have emotions. Neither or us are perfect, but I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything. I’m growing just as much as they are.

  • Postpartum: Round Two

    Postpartum: Round Two

    In August 2021, I gave birth to my beautiful firstborn, Freddy. And now here we are – with our second son, Jack born in May, under 4 years later. For me, I find that postpartum hits you hard, regardless of having been through it before. I’m sleep deprived, I’ve cried, and I’ve felt anxious about some people visiting just like last time. And having a three old who loves bouncing off the walls makes it that little harder to keep energy levels going some days! I’m also feeling guilty because I can’t give Freddy 100% anymore. He’s taken to the change really well though and wants to get involved with making bottles, rocking Jack to sleep and so on.

    Through the harder parts, there are still a lot of things I’m more confident with this time now or maybe I’m just not pressuring myself as much with them as I did the first time round.

    How I feel during the recovery process

    Recovering from giving birth isn’t easy. Luckily this time round I didn’t need stitches, I had a first degree tear rather than a second like my first birth. I have however had a lot of pain in my stomach as my uterus has been contracting back to its usual size. After about day 5-6 the pain started to ease with pain relief and I’ve been finding it easier to move around and do all the things I need to get done around the house. The night feeds were so hard with the pain so I’m glad it’s settled now. I’ve still got a few aches and pains here and there but each day, things seem to be getting better which is good.

    How I look and feel about my body

    After a week in, my bump seems non existent. Quite a few people have complimented me on how good I look or that you wouldn’t have thought I’d recently given birth. And it’s crazy because I remember it going down the first time round but I feel somewhat more confident this time round. Still, I miss bump – the kicks, the growth each day, just the whole feeling. I’m feeling so blessed to have my second son here with us but there’s a part of me that can’t believe how fast time has gone and now he’s actually here.

    I can’t remember the last time I wore makeup but when I do I’m sure it’ll give me that extra feeling good about myself feeling, especially if it comes with a special occasion and being able to dress up a little too.

    How I feel mentally and emotionally

    It’s no surprise that emotions are up and down but I had an idea of how I might feel given that I struggled with mental health issues the first time round which actually turned out to have stemmed from childhood but it took being a mum to acknowledge them. The mentally, challenging rollercoaster of being a mum for the first time shown me the importance of speaking up and getting help – one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself and for my family. There’s been a lot of support from healthcare professionals during my second pregnancy and I know the signs and triggers to look out for if and when I am struggling this time.

    I’m showering every day, I’m staying hydrated, and eating when I have an appetite (struggling in the evenings a bit) – that’s a big difference to before. I know that I can be a mum and prioritise my self care too.

    I’m learning to drown out all the noise – all that matters is my boys, husband, and me – our family.

    How I see myself as a mum

    My first son has taught me everything I know and he’s seen me through all the emotions of adjusting to motherhood. I felt that I was maybe judged as a first time mum – whether I was or not – I couldn’t help but feel that way. And I felt like I couldn’t always get it right and the truth is, there isn’t always a right, but being there and loving your child is the best thing you can do.

    I always knew I wanted Freddy to have a brother or sister to grow up with and now that he has a little brother, the mum guilt shows up some days but then fades on other days when I see the excitement Freddy has as he sees Jack. Take the school pick up for instance, he comes running out saying, “Hi mummy, daddy, baby Jack!” It’s one of the sweetest things to witness. And as a mum, I couldn’t be prouder of how well Freddy is adjusting and I’m proud of myself and Danny for the family we’ve built together. A few times, I’ve paused and taken a moment to realise that we have everything we dreamt of, no matter how hard some days are and will be. We have each other.

    Through the good days and the hard days, I know that I’ll be okay because my husband is the best person and support system I could have. I know it’s okay not to feel okay some days and what to do when that happens. Here’s to enjoying maternity leave as much as I can for the second time.

  • Life with Our 3 Year Old Recently

    Life with Our 3 Year Old Recently

    Soon, Freddy will become a big brother. As we prepare to welcome his little brother, we know there’s going to be a big adjustment ahead for all three of us (him, me, and his daddy). But with that change also comes more love, more laughter, and a growing bond in our family.

    Lately, I’ve been trying to soak up all the little moments with Freddy, knowing that soon things will shift. At the same time, I’ll admit that I’ve had a shorter fuse than usual. Pregnancy hormones and exhaustion are definitely part of it, and Freddy’s own mix of emotions and frustration some days can be tough to navigate. Still, I’m learning to meet those moments with as much calm and patience as I can.

    Parenting really is a constant learning curve, isn’t it?

    Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. Even on the harder days, there’s always more light in my life with Freddy. He reminds me daily that love and growth often show up in the quiet, in between moments.

    Learning with my son

    I’ve been soaking up more one-on-one time with him after school and in the evenings whenever I can. We sit on his bedroom floor while he shows me how he draws shapes wanting to trace them across both pages of his notepad like little mirror images. I think he might be learning about symmetry at school.

    Sometimes he asks me to write out the alphabet, and then he’ll proudly tell me a word for each letter. His whole face lights up as he speaks – there’s this spark, like he knows he’s doing something amazing. And he is. I’m so proud of all he’s discovering and everything he’s starting to love, especially his colours, his love for numbers, and the way he pieces together sequences and sums with such cleverness and happiness.

    Extra cuddles

    Knowing that his little brother will be here soon, I’m holding Freddy just a little more, a little tighter, whenever I can. I can already imagine how big he’ll look next to a tiny newborn, as our home fills with the soft, newness of a baby again. To be honest, most of the time, I probably need those cuddles more than he does. There’s something about the comfort of holding him close that makes everything feel better like the world fades into the background and all that matters is this moment. I know I’ll keep holding him close once his baby brother arrives, too. Well, for as long as he’ll let me!

    The battle with fussy eating

    Yep, Freddy is still very selective about what he eats, despite Danny and me trying all sorts of things. We’ve created excitement around food, tried new combinations, and still, he knows exactly what he likes. He’ll pick out foods when we’re shopping (broccoli, potatoes, and sweet peppers top the list), and when he spots pizza, he lights up. He even plays a game on CBeebies where he makes a pizza for mummy and daddy!

    When it comes to fruit, he’s brilliant. He’ll eat bananas, strawberries, pears, apples, oranges…you name it. He also loves cucumber, cheese and crackers, soup on occasion, sandwiches with cheese or ham sometimes, mini sausage rolls, toast, and cereal. Oh, and I can’t forget his his love for mashed apple, carrot, and parsnip combo – it’s been a favourite since he was a baby.

    We often find ourselves thinking, “Maybe we won’t go through this with our second child” – but who knows? Freddy used to eat hot meals with us, and loved such a variety, like scrambled eggs, spaghetti bolognese, and bits of roast dinner. We’re still waiting to hear from his paediatrician – it’s been 9 months since his last appointment. When he gets upset about food, he’ll hide his bowl or plate in a cupboard, out of sight. I really hope we can get more help soon.

    The pressure of parenting never goes away

    There’s always someone ready to comment on your parenting choices. Right now, we’re doing our best to ignore the opinions and focus on what matters most to us – raising a happy and healthy child. In the past, I was a little worried about Freddy’s speech and communication, wondering if he’s where he “should” be, but after giving it some time, especially since starting school last September, we’ve seen huge progress. We can notice it, even if others don’t.

    Another thing that’s been harder than we expected is figuring out when and how to wean him off his “nighttime nappies.” He’s toilet trained during the day, but still relies on nighttime pants because his body doesn’t yet tell him to wake up and go to the toilet when he needs to wee at night. I’ve read that it’s normal for some 3-year-olds and that it can take time for their bodies to recognise those nighttime signals.

    Then there’s his bottle. He still loves it at night for comfort – he’s definitely a cup of tea lover, just like his mama! Freddy’s been going to the dentist since he was about 6 months old, and we’ve kept up with regular checkups every 6 months since. There are no concerns about his dental health, but we’re hoping to eventually wean him off the bottle – it’s just a bit trickier than we thought. A few months ago, he showed some progress when he was only relying on it for sleep about 3-4 nights a week, even without any fluid, just to chew on the teat!

    I might still be trying to rush things in my own mind, I don’t know. We’re going to try to get Freddy to “give his bottle to baby brother” once he’s here because Freddy is such a “big boy now” so we’ll see how that goes.

    Even with all the wonderings that go on in my mind, I need to remind myself to celebrate the good moments more, especially when it comes to praising Freddy for all the wonderful things he can do. I can’t believe he’s going to be 4 years old in August. Maybe I’ll do a little update post after then.

    Stay posted for new baby brother updates over at The Mama Perspective on TikTok.