The Mama Perspective | Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

A space for real stories, shared experiences and modern motherhood

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Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • Early Postpartum Realities as a Mum of Two

    Early Postpartum Realities as a Mum of Two

    Postpartum is wild, especially in those early days. You’re recovering physically, mentally, and emotionally while trying to juggle feeding your baby, getting a few hours of sleep or should I say wondering what sleep actually is at this point and maybe even remembering to eat and shower. And if you’ve done this before, like me, you’re also chasing after another little human at the same time.

    So how are you, really?

    I remember after my first son was born, people would ask if I was okay and I’d always say “yeah.” But truthfully? I didn’t even know how I felt. Everything was so new, so overwhelming. When you’re crying for no clear reason or snapping out of nowhere, you start wondering: is this normal?

    Now I know – it’s okay to feel like that. But it’s also important not to let it build up without talking to someone. I’ve learned, especially since becoming a mum, to be more open with my husband. He’s my biggest supporter and my best friend.

    Hello, it’s us again!

    One thing I dreaded the first time round and still didn’t exactly look forward to this time was the constant visits and appointments. I know they are part of the postnatal care process, and yes, they’re important (I blame my hormones for how much they annoyed me), but sometimes you just wish you could press pause.

    I gave birth just after midnight and was back home by teatime the same day, only to be told a midwife would be popping round the very next day.

    Then came the health visitor. And suddenly I was hearing everything I’d already been told with my first child on repeat. I know they mean well, and it’s their job, but you should’ve seen the amount of flyers and printouts they handed me.

    It’s kinda funny – we live in such a digital world, yet I ended up with at least five sheets of A4 paper, plus a little NHS booklet full of guidance on childhood illnesses. Honestly, I didn’t keep most of it. A lot of it I already knew or could just look up online.

    Are you having any more children?

    This was actually asked from a healthcare perspective but even so, it felt a little sudden. Maybe it doesn’t seem insensitive to everyone, but in those early postpartum days, it caught me off guard.

    You’re still figuring everything out. Just because you’ve done it before doesn’t mean it’s suddenly easy, or that you’re dreaming about baby number three. Some people want more children, some don’t and either way, it’s okay.

    For me, it would come down to whether I could handle it mentally. That’s where motherhood takes its biggest toll on the lower days. The hectic mornings. The constant juggle of appointments. Trying to soothe one crying child while the other’s had a massive poop explosion… or just needs his mama.

    And in between it all – those moments when you want to scream. Sometimes, you do. And then you feel guilty for it.

    From the outside, people might look in and wonder, “Why do you even have children?”

    And I’ll always say, because it’s the best part of my life. Yes, it’s hard. But there’s no love like it.

    Bounced back yet?

    Okay, why do we live in a society where people expect you to “bounce back” like you’re a yo-yo snapping back up its string?

    A woman carries a child (or children) for nine months. Her body stretches, shifts, grows, and goes through serious trauma and yet, somehow, there’s still so much judgement around how we look after giving birth.

    Whether you think I’ve lost weight, gained weight, or haven’t lost the “baby weight” fast enough, doesn’t matter. It’s my body. And you don’t know how deeply a lack of self-esteem has shaped how I’ve felt about it over the years pre and post baby body.

    If you want to give a compliment, just say something like, “You look great!” Honestly, that’s more than enough.

    Oh, and please don’t tell me I look tired. Did you know that running on barely any sleep, not remembering when you last ate, and carrying an emotional load can make you look tired? Well… now you do.

    I suppose that one was for the “you-know-who” kind of people – my inner voice had to say it!

    Finding our rhythm

    Recovery goes far beyond six weeks though not everyone sees it that way.

    Postpartum, for me, has meant juggling a lot during maternity leave with two boys… but honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m so grateful for the time I get to dedicate to each of them, like putting Freddy to bed instead of his daddy, or bathing Jack. It’s always nice to hear Freddy play away with his toys and ask his daddy to play or hearing Danny chat away to Jack to make him smile.

    The early days were a big adjustment for all of us to bond as a family and find our new routine. Now, it’s the six weeks school holidays and we get to spend more time together.

    I’ve really enjoyed getting out for walks most days and sometimes turning into little days out too. Freddy has been amazing at including Jack in our everyday moments.

    Just the other day, me and Danny heard noise coming from the kitchen. When I walked in, Freddy had grabbed a bottle and was taking it to the prep machine to make milk for Jack because he was crying. My whole heart melted. I have such a sweet boy.

    So, postpartum this time around? It’s not all bliss but I really am happy. The physical pain from birth has passed, and I feel like I’m finally settling into this version of life as a family of four.

    Here’s to more happy, chaotic, blessed moments with my boys.

  • The Fears I Had as a First Time Mum and What I Know Now

    The Fears I Had as a First Time Mum and What I Know Now

    In 2021, I became a mum for the first time to my beautiful boy, Freddy. Now, I’m a mama to him and his little brother Jack.

    Becoming a mum for the first time was exciting, but it also came with a lot of fear about what was to come. I felt overwhelmed at times but now, there’s something in me that reassures me to just breathe, even when my head feels like it’s going to explode from my eldest’s giddiness or tantrums! I’ll admit, I do cry the odd time. I also have a baby to look after now, Freddy’s baby brother.

    These days, I actually feel more confident taking both kids out than I did with just one. I’ve learned to tell myself: if they cry, they cry. If there’s a meltdown, so be it. I’ll handle it. Patience has become my quiet strength, when I can find it.

    The things that scared me during the baby days

    • Going Outside in Public. In the early days, even something as simple as a walk around the block would send me into a panic. Then came bus journeys, trips to the shops, outings to this place and that. Each step felt overwhelming at first. I didn’t always find it easy, and honestly, I still don’t sometimes.
    • Bathing baby as a newborn. Newborns feel so fragile, and their skin is incredibly sensitive. The bath thermometer became my best friend, and I relied heavily on Danny to help hold Freddy in those early days. I was so cautious, scared of doing something wrong, but we got through it together.
    • Midwife and health visitor appointments. The pressure to do everything right felt constant, especially when it came to the midwife and health visitor coming to my house. I worried I was doing something wrong – the way I was holding baby or feeding him. There was always something on my mind, second-guessing myself. I felt so vulnerable the first time round, let being a first time mum would be held against me.
    • Visitors in general. Has anyone else ever felt triggered by visitors on certain days or by certain people? I couldn’t always put my finger on why, but there were definitely moments when I just wasn’t in the right headspace for company and to be honest, I still have times like that today.
    • When baby was unwell. I’ll never forget how scary it was when Freddy was so young and got sick – he had both COVID and bronchiolitis within a short time of each one when he was just a few months old. The fear of seeing him so unwell, unable to do much to comfort him, was upsetting. But he handled it well, bless him.

    The toddler days: what scared me most

    • Development stages. We always knew Freddy was a mover. He was crawling by 7 months, cruising and standing by 8 months, and walking by 11 months. But when it came to speech, I couldn’t help but worry. The delays had me questioning everything. Thankfully, Freddy’s getting there now, and going to nursery in his first year of primary school has made a huge difference.
    • Toilet training. It wasn’t so much the potty training process itself that scared me, but more the thought of accidents in public. It always felt like it was about other people’s judgment. I’ll never forget the time we were in Tesco: Freddy got upset and couldn’t hold his wee long enough to make it to the toilet. He was so sad, so I scooped him up for a cuddle. But of course, some people couldn’t help but stare while he cried, and one person even pointed out the wee on me, as if I didn’t already know. Ugh. It just made everything feel worse.
    • Making Friends. Freddy is such a happy, friendly boy, but I couldn’t help but worry – would he struggle to make friends because of his speech delay? I wondered if he’d stand out in ways that might make him feel different. But fast forward to now, and at almost 4 years old, he’s just finished his first year of primary school (nursery), and he’s surrounded by a lovely group of friends. It’s such a relief to see him thriving.
    • Meltdowns. Ah, meltdowns, this is still something I struggle with from time to time. If it happens in public now, I’ve stopped caring about people staring. My focus is on getting Freddy to relax and cheering him up. But let’s be honest, he really knows how to push my buttons, especially when he decides not to listen. The joys of parenting!

    What have I learned?

    I’ve been told so many times not to compare my child to others, but let’s be honest, it’s hard not to. Just the other week, the health visitor for my second child said, “Don’t even compare your two children to one another.” And that hit me hard. It reminded me that every child is different, and they all grow at their own pace. But I’m still guilty of doing it from time to time with other children the same age.

    There are lots of mums out there who are going through the same things. And it’s nice when one, even a complete stranger, can show an act of kindness to help or understand.

    Before you know it, all the worries disappear (although new ones arrive) and your baby is growing up within the blink of an eye.

    Are you a mum navigating the newborn stage or surviving life with a toddler? What’s scared you the most along the way?

  • My Positive Birth Story: the second time round

    My Positive Birth Story: the second time round

    I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure if I should share my experience of labour and birth for the second time around. It felt like something so personal, and to be honest, I wasn’t sure anyone would be interested. But after reading a few birth stories from other mums, I thought, Why not? Maybe my experience will resonate with someone out there, especially those getting closer to giving birth for the second time. So here it is – my real and honest birth story the second time around.

    If you’re someone who doesn’t like hearing about birth stories then you might not want to continue reading, but as you’re already on my blog, I expect you’ve landed here for content related to motherhood and so please keep reading.

    During pregnancy

    Throughout my pregnancy I was under the MAViS clinic in Manchester, just as I was with my first son. I have chronic high blood pressure (not related to pregnancy) so I received extra scans from 23 weeks to monitor baby’s growth and blood flow from me to baby. Jack was growing beautifully and there were no health concerns. However, it was still advised to be induced (again just like with my first), to lower the risks of any potential complications with my blood pressure.

    I’ve gotta say, this pregnancy was a breeze with my blood pressure in comparison to my first. I only had a couple of higher readings unlike the endless amount of trips to triage with my first son.

    So, during one of my antenatal appointments at MAViS, I was offered an induction at 38 weeks and 2 days in the evening which I happily accepted. I’ll admit – this scared me a little as I remember the pain from the first time round and having no clue what was going on.

    Induction or no induction?

    I arrived at the reception desk to check-in. The receptionist asked me to confirm a few personal details then took me to a ward. This was a surprise as I was told I’d have a private room as noted on the system by the mental health midwives team.

    It’s getting later and no one has come to see me or acknowledge that I was there. Nothing but me, my husband, a bed and drawn curtains for the other three beds on the bay. It must’ve gotten to around 10:40pm when I began to feel really tired, especially as a mama who’s usually asleep by the time I arrived at the hospital! Danny wasn’t happy neither and went look for a midwife.

    Understandably, the midwife looking after me had to prioritise another woman who was in labour. It just would’ve been nice to be told what to do – go to sleep? Eat? Fill out some paperwork? I don’t know.

    It wasn’t until around midnight when the midwife introduced herself and went through my medical history – it’s so frustrating when you have to repeat yourself when everything’s already on my digital records! But anyway, I was finally given a cervical examination by 1am. The midwife explained that the preferred procedure for an induction had changed (rather than the pessary like last time it would be these rods put inside, 5 of them!) So fear kicked in and I said to Danny “I don’t know if I can do this.”

    The cervical exam begins and a few moments later the midwife looked at me and said, “We can’t go ahead with your induction.” So, immediately, as emotions and tiredness had peaked I thought “Why the hell not?!” But instead just sat there in silence looking half awake. She said, “You’re already two centimetres dilated.” At this point, I was thinking, “Oh, okay, here we go…”

    I was put on the CTG machine to monitor baby’s heartbeat and movements. The midwife came in after about 20 minutes and asked, “Can you feel those?” I was having contractions! I explained that I had actually been feeling lots of pressure down there for a couple of weeks.

    I was advised to get some sleep and that I’d have my blood pressure and blood taken in the morning. And that also, I’d been put on the list to have my waters broken.

    Poor Danny slept on a bare floor next to my bed with a cellular blanket and apparently a pillow that felt more like paper. I’m so grateful he was with me though.

    Would today be the day?

    As there was a waiting list, I was told that I couldn’t be given a definite timeframe but to expect a 2-3 days wait. We went for a walk in the morning and got some Gregg’s breakfast – oh, it hit the spot! After the next CTG and BP check later on, I told Danny to go home to get some proper rest as it wasn’t like I was going anywhere.

    Around 2pm the midwife on the next shift popped in when I was mid-asleep and said “Hi, just checking everything’s okay.” So, I said “Yeah, just napping.” or at least I was trying to. I didn’t hear anything then until around 5pm.

    I’m just lay on the bed chilling, pretty bored at this point but trying to make the most of relaxing. Someone walked in and said, “Okay Natasha, it’s time to go to the delivery suite to have your waters broken.” Me panicking, “What now?!”

    Danny was just arriving in the car park when I rang him to let him know where I’d be. Luckily, he found me – there was no way it was happening without him there. So, I had my last bit of food, was talked through the process of having my waters broken, pain relief options, etc. I opted for gas and air and then remifentanil for when the contractions became more intense.

    During labour

    Keeping in mind that my first labour was 6 hours (induced) – I had a feeling this second one would be no different.

    I didn’t really feel anything when my water were broken other than lots of of it gushing out soon afterwards. Talk about your dignity going out the window! I remember I asked the midwife when does it stop and she said, “When you give birth”. I’m sure you can imagine my reaction!

    I wanted to be active so I sat on the exercise ball with a large pad underneath. The midwife asked me if I wanted some music playing and I said you can’t go wrong with Smooth or a similar station.

    I can’t believe my first experience was just me and Danny in a room whilst I screamed for my life, to this second experience – having a midwife and a full team of healthcare professionals to monitor my labour and birth. Suppose that’s how it should be though eh?

    It was happening!

    I remember going to the toilet, I was having loose bowel movements for a couple of weeks but this time I had a feeling that something was happening. I said to Danny, “Right, this must be the pain starting, it feels the same as last time.” Only a few minutes later, I had to lie on the bed to feel more comfortable. And a little while after that, I started to breathe through the contractions with gas and air.

    Oh wow. It was really happening. I was really going through labour again. But this time was much more positive – I had support, I had people listening to me, I had a birth plan, I was staying hydrated with little sips of water and juice throughout, and I understood what was going on with my body. I liked that I was in control more this time (combining gas and air whilst having the remifentanil made a HUGE difference). Eventually, Danny was holding the gas and air for me and the midwives were so lovely in supporting me and listening to me.

    After the pain, sweat, tears, I felt the need to push. Suddenly there was a sensation running broth my body and I lifted my whole body up to push outwards. At this point, the bed was placed into a chair position (highly recommend by the way). After the rest of the team monitoring my contractions in disbelief that baby would be making an appearance yet, I pushed once, very loudly, and the student midwife caught him as he slid out. I’m not kidding, that’s what it was like. No additional pushes for the head, shoulders and rest of his body – he just came out all at once.

    And within seconds, time froze. I waited to hear him cry and then he did. I held him and looked at him in awe. Another baby boy – my son. Officially a mama of two, I cried and smiled at the same time. There is nothing like it. I held him in my arms, still in a bit of disbelief that he was really here.

    Reality hit, and I’ll admit, I was a bit nervous about how Freddy would react to meeting his new brother. But looking back now, I’m not sure what I was worried about. Freddy has been nothing short of loving and helpful – he’s already the best big brother I could’ve hoped for.

    I’m proud of myself for bringing two beautiful boys into this world. And as they continue to grow, I know they’ll teach me more about motherhood than I ever thought possible. I feel so lucky to be their mum, and I can’t wait to see what the next chapter holds.

  • The Little Things with a Bit of Sunshine

    The Little Things with a Bit of Sunshine

    A short but reflective take on maternity leave, motherhood, and finding happiness in the little things – sunshine, newborn naps, and some self-care.

    This morning, I woke up to the sun peeking through the blinds and the house was quiet until my eldest woke up. I lay still for a few minutes and couldn’t help but think: “How lucky am I to not have to worry about going to the office or work today?”

    And just like that, I felt a wave of positivity that today was going to be a good day. These are the kinds of days that make maternity leave feel good.

    I’m sat in the garden now. The sun is shining, the breeze is passing through the washing on the line, and Jack (my newborn) is snoozing in his pram, staying cool inside the house. It’s such a simple moment, but it makes everything feel so calm.

    These little moments? They’re everything right now.

    Embracing the slow moments

    This maternity leave feels different from my first in the best ways. I’m more aware and dare I say it more gentle with myself or trying to be. There’s no rush. No pressure to “do it all.”

    Today, I went for a walk – nothing too long, just a little trip to the shops to breathe, enjoy some fresh air and stretch my legs. I’ve made walking a bigger part of this second postpartum experience, and I feel so much better for it.

    And here’s something else that’s made me smile: I’ve lost a fair bit of weight since the early postpartum weeks. I didn’t chase it, but it’s a sign that my body is finding its way again and that feels really encouraging although I think I’m telling myself that I’ve got to get lower each time I weigh myself – those damn scales!

    Finding happiness in every day

    Not every day is like this. Some days are chaotic, messy, or emotionally heavy. But then there are days like today – sunny, calm, and happy in the most ordinary way.

    These are the little things with a bit of sunshine and right now, they’re filling me up in all the right ways.

    What about you?

    Are you in the thick of maternity leave or just coming out the other side? What are the little things that help you to stay positive right now?

    You might also like… Looking After Your Mental Health as a Parent

  • There’s No Such Thing As a Perfect Mum

    There’s No Such Thing As a Perfect Mum

    You could be an amazing mum, a superhero mum to your kids, but a perfect mum? Nope. Because perfect mums don’t exist and never have.

    This blog is all about sharing the real and raw moments of motherhood – it’s messy, beautiful, exhausting, rewarding, and sometimes (a lot of the time) chaotic. One minute you’re prepping food and singing nursery rhymes, and the next you’re happy to be sat on the toilet to have a minute to yourself. That’s not a reflection of a “bad mum” but a picture of a real mum who’s human. And yet, somehow, there’s still this pressure to aim for “perfection” in parenting, as if you’re only doing it right if you make healthy snacks and have regular screen-free time.

    The truth is being a good mum has nothing to do with being perfect. It’s about showing up, again and again, even when you’re running on empty. It’s about the cuddles in the middle of the night, the little “I love you” whispers, the scraped knees that are magically made better with a kiss from mama, and the times you say sorry when you lose your temper – because you do lose your temper. We all do.

    I’ve cried at times when I’ve looked back and wondered if I could’ve handled a situation better. But in the moment, emotions run high and being over stimulated is tough, especially when you’re juggling so much at once.

    Painting the “perfect” picture

    Do you ever scroll through social media and see perfectly captured photos of kids and mums who look like they just stepped out of a beauty salon? And you must have seen those mums who look like they’ve been into a beauty salon inside the hospital before giving birth! What you don’t see are the tantrums just before that photo was taken, the guilt behind the smiles, or the sleepless nights. You also don’t see the mum who looks drained or the tears running down her face some nights.

    Comparing yourself to that kind of curated content is a losing game anyway. Because real motherhood doesn’t fit neatly into social media trends.

    Kids don’t need a perfect mum

    Children need a present mum. Someone who listens and loves fiercely. A mum who makes mistakes and owns up to them. Someone who’s human. Because in showing your children that you’re imperfect, you show them that they can be imperfect too. I wish there was more authenticity in the world.

    Whenever you shout, cry, forget something important, or just feel like you wasn’t enough, next time take a breath. You’re not alone as isolating as it can feel at times. Those moments don’t make you a bad mum, it makes you a real one. And being real is far better than being perfect.

    Accept the hard days and all the feelings that it includes but don’t struggle alone. Celebrate the good days, anything little wins that mean something for you, let them make you smile. You’re not supposed to be perfect, you’re supposed to be you. And to your kids? That’s enough.

    This post has been written from my experience as a mum to a newborn and a three year old.

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