The Mama Perspective

Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

The voice behind the blog

Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • The Reality of Returning to Work After Having My Second Child 

    The Reality of Returning to Work After Having My Second Child 

    I had quite a few worries before returning to work after maternity leave. Even though I’ve done this before with this first, it doesn’t feel any easier to do again. I had just about adjusted to life with a newborn then before I knew it, the months were creeping by and I’m back to work with a 9.5 month old starting nursery. Queue the tears. 

    Over the last couple of weeks, thoughts have ran circled in my head – how will I devote time to each of the boys once I’m home? What if I’m too stressed and tired? What if I can’t help Freddy with his homework in the same way that I always do? The mess, how am I gonna keep on top of that? What if coffee doesn’t coffee as hard? Will I be able to meet the expectations of who I was at work before going on maternity leave?

    I’d fall asleep just thinking about it all working overdrive in my head.

    The uniform needs to be washed. Both of their bags need packing for school and nursery – including Freddy’s packed lunch inside his. Must remember if it’s PE today to put trainers in his school bag too. Dress them, well Freddy pretty much likes to dress himself now. 

    Get those teeth brushed. Wipe their faces, again! You know the routine – all whilst replaying mental lists in my head about what needs actioning today at work. 

    And most of all – reminding myself I am capable no matter what the day throws at me. A sick child? You bet that’s going to happen. Phone calls from nursery calling panic when you see the number/caller ID? Yep, that too! But you know what? It feels like our norm now. I like that we’re all keeping busy – or having fun in the kids’ cases. 

    It’s all going okay. Don’t get me wrong – some days are tougher but I try to make up for less time spent with them on another working day, or at the weekend. I’m still here. Me and Danny both work full-time and the boys are in school and nursery until 3pm so we’re grateful to each of our workplaces for the flexibility to take it in turns to pick our kids up.

    The look on our boys faces when they see us at home time is everything. And on the days when it’s just their daddy doing the pick up, sometimes Freddy will ask, “Where’s mummy?” And as much as that upsets me a little – he knows I’ll always be coming home to him as soon as I can. 

    Freddy’s feelings around mummy and daddy “both going to work” is mainly excitement because he’s counting down the time until he can go to the seaside – he’s referring to the beach! 

    And maybe that’s the best way to look at it – through Freddy’s eyes. To him, this new routine just means we’re getting closer to sandy toes, ice creams, and sunshine. And really, that’s what it’s all for and everything in between. 

    For now – it’s a little while until then – deciding what to have for tea each night because there’s no all inclusive menu served to us here. And I’m making the most of the unlimited hot chocolates when I’m in the office. Roll on our first holiday as a family of four! 

    We’re doing our best, building our lives, and making memories where we can – one busy, imperfect day at a time.

    Returning to work hasn’t taken me away from my boys – it’s just changed how our time is spent. And in many ways, it’s made me appreciate the little moments even more. I’m still me – just stronger with more resilience, being a mum does that to you!

    If you’re about to head back to work after maternity leave and you’re feeling the same worries I had – just know, it will find its rhythm. And you will too.

  • The Mum I’ll Always Try to Be

    The Mum I’ll Always Try to Be

    I’ll never try to be the perfect mum because, let’s be honest, what exactly does one of those look like and behave like? If you ask me – it doesn’t exist. And as someone who can be a perfectionist in some aspects of my life, I know getting everything right in motherhood just isn’t possible. I’d be working myself into the ground and probably feeling pretty unhappy if perfection was the standard I set for myself.

    Instead, I want to be a real mum. The kind who tries her best, learns as she goes, and understands that some days will feel like a win while others will feel like complete chaos – and both are completely normal.

    I want to work, too – not because I want to be away from my boys, but because I want them to see that you can love your family deeply and still have passions, goals and ambitions of your own. I don’t believe my career has to come to a halt if I’m in the fortunate position where it doesn’t need to. I want my boys to grow up seeing that balance, understanding that loving your family and loving your work can exist side by side.

    More than anything though, I want them to grow up surrounded by kindness. I want them to see it, feel it and show it to others. The world can be tough enough as it is – if they leave our home knowing how to treat people with empathy and compassion, I’ll feel like I’ve done something right.

    Of course, that doesn’t mean I’ve got everything figured out. Far from it.

    There are things I’m always trying to work harder on as a mum:

    • Being more patient. The constant “mum… mum… mum…” can test anyone, but I want my boys to feel heard even in the middle of the busy moments.
    • Learning to prioritise time. See those crumbs on the floor? I’ll stop everything to get them – even if there are a million other things that probably matter more. I’m still learning that sometimes the mess can wait, but the moment can’t.
    • Being more present. Putting my phone down for a while longer, stepping away from the to-do list and actually being in the moment with them.
    • Letting go of mum guilt. Whether it’s working, needing a break, or simply not having the energy to do it all – I’m learning that guilt doesn’t make me a better mum, it just makes me a more exhausted one.
    • Showing them that mistakes are normal. Because if they grow up thinking kids and adults never get things wrong, they’ll feel like they’ve done something wrong when they do and might feel scared/upset to tell me.

    I’ll always try to be myself as a mum. And sometimes that means getting it wrong. Sometimes it means losing my patience or snapping when I’m overwhelmed. But I’m human, and one thing I’ll always do is say sorry when I’ve overreacted in the heat of the moment.

    I actually think that matters more than pretending to get it right all the time. Our children don’t need perfect parents – they need honest ones.

    Sometimes my mind feels completely out of control, you know? Overloaded with mental lists, worries, reminders and the constant background noise of motherhood. The overthinking creeps in and suddenly I’m questioning everything – did I handle that right? Should I have done that differently? Am I doing enough?

    And when that happens, I try to remind myself of something simple.

    My boys don’t need a perfect mum. They need a mum who loves them loudly. A mum who shows up. A mum who keeps trying.

    So the mum I’ll always try to be is the one who will always have my boys’ backs. The mum who laughs with them, apologises when I it wrong, works hard, loves with my whole heart and keeps learning every single day.

  • Second Baby, Second Maternity Leave: Going Back to Work Again

    Second Baby, Second Maternity Leave: Going Back to Work Again

    Jack is 9 months old now and it’s officially the end of my maternity leave. I’m happy but a little sad too. I always thought Freddy taught me everything I never knew about motherhood until I held him in my arms. And while that has some truth to it, there’s still been so much learned since welcoming Jack into the world. He’s taught me that my heart has room for him and his big brother, that emotions will always be up and down, but most of all, reminding me that my boys are everything I’ve dreamed of.

    So, while I head back to work soon (holidays owed to take first), the part of me that’s a little scared of picking up not where I left off, but returning as a mum of two with a great deal of wonder and I’ll admit, feeling anxious. I’ll hold onto a picture of my boys in my mind. They’ll always be my reason.

    Because this time around has been different. Not easier, not harder – just fuller. Fuller days, fuller laundry baskets, fuller conversations, fuller hearts. I’ve learned how to nurse a baby while building Lego towers. I’ve learned that sleep deprivation hits differently when you also have a school run. I’ve learned that guilt doesn’t divide between two children – it doubles – but somehow so does the joy.

    Jack has been my gentle reminder to slow down. As a second baby, he’s slotted into our lives with the calmest little smile, happy to watch the chaos unfold around him. He’s taught me to appreciate the “lasts” in a way I couldn’t with Freddy – the last maternity leave, the last first weaning spoonful, the last time I’ll rock a baby this tiny in the middle of the day with nowhere else to be.

    And Freddy, well, he’s taught me that watching your child become a big brother is one of the most heart-bursting privileges there is. Seeing him comfort Jack, make him laugh, proudly introduce him as “my baby brother”, it’s like witnessing a whole new chapter of love unfold in front of me.

    Going back to work feels different this time. I’m not just returning as me. I’m returning as a mum of two. My priorities are clearer. My boundaries feel firmer. I’m proud of my that careers, but these early years? They race by in a blur of muslins, snack pots and school newsletters. I have to present for the moments that matter.

    There’s a quiet confidence that comes with second-time motherhood too. I trust myself more. I know that hard days don’t last. I know that comparison is the thief of joy (though I’m still practicing). I know that I can be both ambitious and devoted, driven and present, tired and grateful all at once.

    If you’re standing on the brink of the end of maternity leave too, whether it’s your first, second or more, remember it’s okay to feel excited and sad in the same breath. It’s okay to love your job and still wish you could freeze time. It’s okay to feel like you’ve changed because you have. Motherhood reshapes you in the most beautiful, stretching, sometimes uncomfortable ways.

    As I close this chapter, I’m not the same woman who went on maternity leave nine months ago. I’m softer in some ways, stronger in others. More patient (most days). More tired (definitely). More certain than ever that my greatest achievement won’t be on a CV, but will be found in kisses, bedtime cuddles and the sound of two little boys calling “Mama/Mummy!”

    So, here’s to the next season – to the nursery bag and school bag packed the night before, to calendar juggling, to early alarms and evening cuddles. Here’s to doing my best in both worlds, even when it feels messy.

    Because at the end of every day, no matter how busy, how overwhelming, how loud, I’ll come home to my boys. And that is everything. 

Anxiety Confidence Family Mental Health Mindset Motherhood Parenthood Parenting Positivity Postpartum Self Esteem Wellness