The Mama Perspective

Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

The voice behind the blog

Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • Reflecting on Parenthood and Love

    Reflecting on Parenthood and Love

    Isn’t it true that as you get older, you realise what’s important? My perspective has changed on a number of things. I think my change of outlook changed most significantly when I became a mum. All the high and lows I’ve carried with me, and the events I’ve experienced in life contribute to who I am today.

    Each day is another day to tell my husband and my son I love them, regardless of what’s going on, there’s so much happiness in our lives. Each phone call to my mum is a catch up about this, that, and everything. Each waking hour spent with my son, is another giggle, kiss, maybe a cry but they are all moments to cherish.

    I’ve had a couple of days of leave from work so I’ve been able to enjoy a long weekend and the last two days have all been about Freddy. It’s makes me sad (happy sad) to look back on all the time we spent together not only when I was pregnant, but the months after during maternity leave.

    Today, Freddy has played real hard! I’m talking colouring in 2-3 times, had the play dough and sand out, playing with his numbers bus, smiled for photos with his Halloween ‘boo’ top on and so much more fun! With a toddler, you’re always bound to be busy, running around, and joining in the play when you’ve got the energy (or you find it). Each moment is quality time together.

    Lots of firsts can fade as new ones blossom; there’s always new to smile about, emotionally in my case, like how your little one smiles and claps when they’re proud of themselves. Or the times when your heart feels so full because everything you’ve always wanted is happening right in front of you.

    The other day, me and Danny were in the car, I turned to him and said, “We’re coming up to our eleventh Christmas together!” How is that even happening? Well, yeah, I know, time does its thing. But wow, oh wow.

    We still dance in the kitchen and living room and find time for us when we can around looking after our son. It’s the little things like grabbing each others hands, coming up to cuddle from behind, bringing a chocolate bar and cup of tea into me at the end of the day. Honestly, I could go on. He might be the loudest snoring machine but Danny is an absolute dream. And together, our family is everything. Nothing comes close. I’m even more in love with Danny and we take on whatever comes our way, together.

    You know when you watch a video in fast motion? That’s how life can feel when you look back. Seeing all the wonderful moments fly by you makes you think about the rest of what life holds. Priorities change with time, appreciation for simple moments grow, and a positive mindset can help you gain the strength you never knew you had.

    Danny and me always remind each other that once we were teenagers in love, free spirited and loved all the fun in life. Now, we’re husband and wife, mum and dad. There’s no harm in remembering who we were before parenthood. It’s about picking each other back up through the challenges and supporting one another. Danny knows me better than I know myself. And sometimes when I think he’s not listening, he’ll tell me, “Go and be the amazing you!” when I’m doing that self doubt thing again.

    The biggest thing I’ve learned, is to be the best parent I can be, to love as hard as I can, and to look after others, I have to work on me first. It isn’t selfish, I know that now and I’ve seen a lot of personal growth in myself. There are brighter days ahead with so much love and happiness to overpower any ‘bad days’ ahead.

  • Mornings With My Two Year Old

    Mornings With My Two Year Old

    Some mornings I manage to drink a whole cup of tea whilst it’s still hot. But other mornings don’t go that way. I either miss that first cuppa altogether or I end up drinking tea and coffee when I get to work. Do you think I mind? Well, maybe a little but mostly no. When my son comes to sit with me and cuddle into me, that’s the nicest start to the day that I need.

    There is something in common when it’s comes to mornings with my two year old. It’s our time, for me and him to cuddle, play, watch cartoons and eat breakfast together. Then we get dressed and brush our teeth. Some mornings we have about an hour to spend together, others less. I love waking up as early as I can which can be a struggle some mornings, especially during the colder months.

    He has started to enjoy kicking a ball around the house and loves going into the kitchen and using the floor as his little football pitch. Whenever me or his dad tried to hide the ball this morning, trying to leave the house for nursery, Freddy either found the ball or looked for another one. He makes us smile so much. Yesterday, Danny said, “This is the most I’ve seen mummy kick a ball in all the years I’ve known her.” We do these things for our babies though, don’t we?!

    Freddy might not remember much of these mornings when he gets older and that’s okay. I will though and I’ll do my best to give him the love he deserves, especially when it comes to starting his day. I’ll try to close my eyes for a few more minutes and I’ll hear his little voice chatting away to himself. He never cries because he knows one or both of us are coming to get him. For an active toddler who acts like everything’s a climbing frame, he hasn’t attempted to get out of his cot yet (touch wood).

    When me or his dad go into his room and his face pops up from his cot with the biggest smile. It’s the best feeling. It’s as though it’s a smile that he has just for us.

    He has a little routine where we go downstairs, Freddy will bring his blanket and get cosy on the couch either before or after deciding to have cereal, a banana or apple, or picking at all three! Most days he will cuddle into the other blankets on the couch too.

    Taking after me, he loves his cups of tea, decaf of course. The way he says “teeea” and looks up to the kettle melts my heart every day. I wonder what it’ll be like when he doesn’t do that anymore. Moments like these are so precious.

    There’s nothing better than starting my day with Freddy and his bundle of energy, even though I might need a cup of coffee to two to wake me up properly. I could be having a tough week and he still manages to make me feel better. One sweet look, kiss, cuddles, smile, all of it, it’s irreplaceable.

  • Breaking the Barriers of Low Self Esteem

    Breaking the Barriers of Low Self Esteem

    World Mental Health Day earlier this week got me thinking about a topic to talk about. I started to write this post but never got round to finishing it until now. I’ve been through a number of challenges that have affected me mentally. Mixed anxiety and depression, along with PTSD have been outcomes towards the end of assessments and two lots of therapy. However, on my second time attending therapy, I decided to focus on something I’ve thought about before but kinda left untouched – self esteem.

    There was a photo on my Instagram archive this week from 3 years ago. This photo was a slimmer, more confident, and happy version of myself. The truth is, I was battling a lot of self esteem challenges back then and I have been since before I was a teenager. Maybe it started when I was bullied in my second year of high school. Whatever the reason, low self esteem has a habit of creeping up on me still all these years later. It’s as though comments from name calling and messages have been embedded into my brain permanently. And then there’s me who plays the part that picks little things apart.

    No matter if my husband or my mum tells me I’m beautiful, I still have times where I struggle to accept how I see myself. I’m guilty of putting the gym off and snacking but I should still be able to love my body for how it is, right?

    I think it’s easy to self-criticise, whether it be something you think you could’ve done better or picking out all the little things you don’t like about how you look when you see yourself in the mirror. I remember one of my sessions in therapy – I had some homework – to write down the evidence for and against, for any negative thoughts I had about myself. In one column I wrote: “I look big in this T-shirt I’m wearing today”. And in the ‘evidence for’ I put ‘the mirror’. Both my therapist and me had a little giggle about it BUT neither of us ignored that it’s so easy to go to the side of your brain that has the negative outlook on things.

    More recently I’ve discovered – through life lessons and two lots of therapy – that I’m still me. Although I might weigh more, not look glamorous every day or pull of the ‘natural look’, I’m doing my best at trying to lose myself and that starts with feeling happy. Especially on the inside because everyone will see what they see; what matters the most is how I feel about myself.

    Whenever the perception of myself starts to differ again, I remember all the positive things my family and my therapist have told me. And although I can’t completely erase all the negative thoughts I’ve had about myself including how I look or self doubt in my ear trying to hold me back from what I can achieve, I can always embrace being me. And doing that means I’m doing my best.

    Change can be a good thing and I’m glad that I’ve come out on the stronger side. Challenges and tough conversations have got me to where I am today. I am getting there with recognising my worth

    There are lots of links and advice I could share with you but one thing I recommend, is the Mind website. There’s lots of information and resources on self esteem to help you take the steps to start to feel better about yourself. Also, it’s worth reading up Esteem under Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

    Links

    https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/about-self-esteem/

    https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

Anxiety Confidence Family Mental Health Mindset Motherhood Parenthood Parenting Positivity Postpartum Self Esteem Wellness