The Mama Perspective

Postpartum is wild, especially in those early days. You’re recovering physically, mentally, and emotionally while trying to juggle feeding your baby, getting a few hours of sleep or should I say wondering what sleep actually is at this point and maybe even remembering to eat and shower. And if you’ve done this before, like me, you’re also chasing after another little human at the same time.

So how are you, really?

I remember after my first son was born, people would ask if I was okay and I’d always say “yeah.” But truthfully? I didn’t even know how I felt. Everything was so new, so overwhelming. When you’re crying for no clear reason or snapping out of nowhere, you start wondering: is this normal?

Now I know – it’s okay to feel like that. But it’s also important not to let it build up without talking to someone. I’ve learned, especially since becoming a mum, to be more open with my husband. He’s my biggest supporter and my best friend.

Hello, it’s us again!

One thing I dreaded the first time round and still didn’t exactly look forward to this time was the constant visits and appointments. I know they are part of the postnatal care process, and yes, they’re important (I blame my hormones for how much they annoyed me), but sometimes you just wish you could press pause.

I gave birth just after midnight and was back home by teatime the same day, only to be told a midwife would be popping round the very next day.

Then came the health visitor. And suddenly I was hearing everything I’d already been told with my first child on repeat. I know they mean well, and it’s their job, but you should’ve seen the amount of flyers and printouts they handed me.

It’s kinda funny – we live in such a digital world, yet I ended up with at least five sheets of A4 paper, plus a little NHS booklet full of guidance on childhood illnesses. Honestly, I didn’t keep most of it. A lot of it I already knew or could just look up online.

Are you having any more children?

This was actually asked from a healthcare perspective but even so, it felt a little sudden. Maybe it doesn’t seem insensitive to everyone, but in those early postpartum days, it caught me off guard.

You’re still figuring everything out. Just because you’ve done it before doesn’t mean it’s suddenly easy, or that you’re dreaming about baby number three. Some people want more children, some don’t and either way, it’s okay.

For me, it would come down to whether I could handle it mentally. That’s where motherhood takes its biggest toll on the lower days. The hectic mornings. The constant juggle of appointments. Trying to soothe one crying child while the other’s had a massive poop explosion… or just needs his mama.

And in between it all – those moments when you want to scream. Sometimes, you do. And then you feel guilty for it.

From the outside, people might look in and wonder, “Why do you even have children?”

And I’ll always say, because it’s the best part of my life. Yes, it’s hard. But there’s no love like it.

Bounced back yet?

Okay, why do we live in a society where people expect you to “bounce back” like you’re a yo-yo snapping back up its string?

A woman carries a child (or children) for nine months. Her body stretches, shifts, grows, and goes through serious trauma and yet, somehow, there’s still so much judgement around how we look after giving birth.

Whether you think I’ve lost weight, gained weight, or haven’t lost the “baby weight” fast enough, doesn’t matter. It’s my body. And you don’t know how deeply a lack of self-esteem has shaped how I’ve felt about it over the years pre and post baby body.

If you want to give a compliment, just say something like, “You look great!” Honestly, that’s more than enough.

Oh, and please don’t tell me I look tired. Did you know that running on barely any sleep, not remembering when you last ate, and carrying an emotional load can make you look tired? Well… now you do.

I suppose that one was for the “you-know-who” kind of people – my inner voice had to say it!

Finding our rhythm

Recovery goes far beyond six weeks though not everyone sees it that way.

Postpartum, for me, has meant juggling a lot during maternity leave with two boys… but honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m so grateful for the time I get to dedicate to each of them, like putting Freddy to bed instead of his daddy, or bathing Jack. It’s always nice to hear Freddy play away with his toys and ask his daddy to play or hearing Danny chat away to Jack to make him smile.

The early days were a big adjustment for all of us to bond as a family and find our new routine. Now, it’s the six weeks school holidays and we get to spend more time together.

I’ve really enjoyed getting out for walks most days and sometimes turning into little days out too. Freddy has been amazing at including Jack in our everyday moments.

Just the other day, me and Danny heard noise coming from the kitchen. When I walked in, Freddy had grabbed a bottle and was taking it to the prep machine to make milk for Jack because he was crying. My whole heart melted. I have such a sweet boy.

So, postpartum this time around? It’s not all bliss but I really am happy. The physical pain from birth has passed, and I feel like I’m finally settling into this version of life as a family of four.

Here’s to more happy, chaotic, blessed moments with my boys.