The Mama Perspective | Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

A space for real stories, shared experiences and modern motherhood

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Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • Navigating Motherhood: Maternal Mental Health

    Navigating Motherhood: Maternal Mental Health

    Becoming a mum to my son, Freddy, has been one of the toughest yet most amazing experiences of my life. It’s opened my eyes to the importance of taking care of my own mental health amidst all things related to being a mum, especially for the first time.

    From the moment I saw those two pink lines on the first pregnancy test I took, I felt something new. A pure, new kind of love. I remember Danny suggesting we buy a Clear Blue test just to be sure. Our eyes lit up as the second test confirmed I was 100% ‘pregnant’. From that day on, our baby, though not yet brought into the world, was always going to come first.

    He is a part of everything we decide to do; whether aspiring to grow at work or deciding whether or not to take part in certain social activities, because if Freddy needs us, he comes first. And most importantly, learning what it means to be happy. I spoke about this in a previous blog post; sometimes it means just sitting at home as a family of three.

    For me, becoming a mum has been one hell of a journey in finding myself again. My perspective has shifted; that’s a positive thing, seeing who and what is most important. But I feel like many parts of me needed to be reinvented. My body image, my patience, and most importantly, my self-esteem. I no longer doubt that I’m a good mom, but I do struggle with how I see myself today compared to when my body was growing during pregnancy and before that.

    When my son came into the world, my heart was immediately filled with love, but I also felt the weight of responsibility. Those sleepless nights, nappy changes, and constant worry took off making sure he was okay took its toll on me. I think was mainly because I didn’t know what the right or wrong thing was or if I could better. But now, I’m sure that as Freddy’s mum, the saying “Mum always knows best” is true.

    Maternal mental health isn’t talked about enough. We’re expected to recover after the 6-week check up and when we’re asked if we’re okay, I don’t know about you but I didn’t really know what I was feeling. It was such a small period of time to know whether I was okay or not. The truth is, it’s hard. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or sad sometimes. There are so many adjustments for women to make when becoming a mum, returning to work being the biggest one. Having a supportive network helps though.

    Having a son has taught me that I need to take care of myself too. It’s not selfish to ask for help or take a break when I need it. By looking after my own mental wellbeing, I’m better able to be there for my son and give him the love and support he needs.

    Talking about my motherhood journey openly and honestly with my small circle of mum friends helps me. They get it. And I think it’s important to also have support available from others, giving mums the support and resources they need to thrive while finding themselves again. When we’re happy and healthy, it helps our kids to be too!

    The Mama Perspective will continue to raise awareness and share experiences of maternal mental health. And the message from this post is to remember that it’s okay not to be okay sometimes.

    Please get in touch if you would like to suggest future topics. Thank you for reading.

  • Taking Part in My Second 10km Run

    Taking Part in My Second 10km Run

    Over the weekend, I participated in the Heaton Park 10km run and raised over £1000 for Asthma + Lung UK with my dad. This was my second time completing a 10km race since 2017. While I had previously done a 5km run around Heaton Park almost 5 years ago, this one was definitely challenging, especially with all those hills!

    For me, the run wasn’t about beating a personal best time or completing the route faster than last time, it was an achievement to get to the finish line. My dad joined me later in the weeks leading up to the run but on the day he was whizzing past me at the beginning so I told him to carry on. Although my dad was in the race on the day, I still feel quite proud that I ran alone. I think I would have cried when I got to the finish line if there wasn’t crowds of people around.

    This race wasn’t about competing with others. I chose to run at my own pace and took breaks by walking at intervals to make it more manageable. I didn’t feel ashamed about incorporating walking into my run, even as the half marathon participants zoomed by me after completing a lap around the park.

    Something I kept telling myself was, “This is for charity. Remember this is for mum”.

    The volunteers and spectators who cheered on all the runners provided a great source of motivation. In particular, the woman who handed out Haribo sweets at the water station. I needed that!

    Another valuable realisation I’ve had is that even when I doubt my abilities, I am capable of achieving more than I thought possible. By no means is it ever easy but it’s worth it.

    What will my next challenge be? Another run? We’ll see…

  • Do More of What Makes You Happy

    Do More of What Makes You Happy

    For Christmas, I received a meaningful gift which I’ve used every day to start the new year. It’s a pack of cards with positive affirmations on for each week of the year. This week’s is “Take the time do more things that make your soul happy”. And it got me thinking about how much time I’ve spent worrying about things I can’t change or might not even happen. The mind can turn to those thoughts so easily, eh? Unless, you’re my husband who tells me a lot of wise words and he’ll love to hear this when I say – he’s right.

    Often, he will ask me, “Will the things you’re worrying about right now matter in a few months’ or years’ time? Do you think the other person is worrying the same level as you?”

    He calls me a “sensitive little soul” but also reminds me how strong I am when life gets tough. I can be bothered quite easily by comments that wouldn’t mean anything to the person next to me. The thing is, as much as the positive person I am, I can’t help but see things in a different light at times. You know, “What if… this or that?”

    I picked up a very bad habit of bottling up my emotions up in the past. That was until mine and Danny’s friendship grew stronger and we fell in love. In the early days, I knew I could talk to him even though I thought I should be scared that he might run a mile or ten, but he didn’t. We’re married now and have a son, the greatest thing that could ever have happened to the both of us, is becoming parents.

    It’s been a long journey but having Danny as my best friend for the last 11 years has proven what really makes me happy. I’ve discovered that what makes me happy doesn’t have to please everyone else. Nor does it mean a happy life is a perfect one.

    Some days I smile as I stare at Danny with awe and think about all the ways he has supported me, the efforts he will go to to make me laugh, and how he has the biggest heart out of anyone I know. That makes me happy.

    I’ll turn to look at the chaos around the house – toys and half bitten apples lying around. Every room might not be tidy but it’s a reminder that my son is exploring and learning new skills every day. He is living his childhood and I want that to be one of the brightest times of his life. Seeing him happy, that makes me happy.

    It’s spring but it’s raining outside yet there’s still something therapeutic about hearing the drops hit the windows of the house. And I’m inside nice and cosy. That makes me happy.

    Sometimes we (me and Danny) stop and wonder if we could get 10 more minutes to ourselves or go on dates more. But we’re here for living in these crazy but loveable moments with our toddler. It’s what life is about when you become a parent. And if anything, we want our son to have whatever we can give him in life. I don’t mean material things, I mean time, love, and showing up. That’s makes us and him happy too.

    So, as you’re reading this post, here’s your reminder, to do more of what makes you happy. Every day is a chance to practice.

  • Is the Wellbeing of Parents a Second Thought?

    Is the Wellbeing of Parents a Second Thought?

    When I became pregnant for the first time with my son (Freddy) in 2021, the excitement to become a mum was unreal. You don’t hear about a lot of positive stories but I honestly loved being pregnant. There were countless appointments, especially during the third trimester but each time this happened, we (me and Danny) were lucky to learn more about our baby boy growing. Then there was sickness, tiredness, and back strain from carrying our little ‘pumpkin’ (that’s what I call him). But once your baby comes into the world, the rest of it goes away within a flash.

    Whenever a newly pregnant woman asks me how I found my pregnancy, I focus on the good. It’s a time to be celebrated and us women are powerful for what our bodies can handle and go through.

    During all three periods – pregnancy, giving birth, and postpartum, I think there’s a topic that needs to be talked about more. Mental health. That goes for each parent. And also the lesser talked about notion that mums do it all. It might be the case for some families, but I for one, see it differently. I see a husband, a dad, who loves and protects his family. A man who is progressing in his career and never places his son as second best. And I’ll admit it, I think he is Freddy’s favourite person. So much for a mummy’s boy eh!

    Bringing a child into the world is somewhat surreal; it’s amazing; it’s challenging; it’s magical. In the background of a child growing up, have you ever stopped to take a moment to think and how mum and dad are doing? I faced a few battles with my mind. It was constantly telling me to do better or that I wasn’t capable of being a good mum. But there hasn’t been a day where I haven’t loved every ounce of my son. It’s the person me and Danny have always needed in our lives and we can hardly remember a time where he wasn’t a part of us.

    It wasn’t until becoming a mum that I considered therapy. I’d read about it and watched how it’s interpreted on films but I never made that step myself up until three months of being a mum. I know now that I wasn’t weak. I just wanted to feel better. There’s a lot I carried for years and it took one look at my son after crying on the kitchen floor to tell me what I needed to be brave to do.

    Providing for your family in our household is an equal measure. The two of us work full-time, grateful for a hybrid working pattern and workplaces that understand when you’ve got to be there for your child. Whether it be an appointment, an illness, or the best that’s yet to come, school plays and sports day, we want to be there. I understand that’s not always possible for other parents so we count ourselves lucky.

    One of the toughest things I still face as a parent is the feeling of guilt. Maybe that’s also part of how I feel after situations in everyday life outside of being a mum. But I think it’s hard to meet expectations, to not compare to how another child is doing, and to remember that looking after myself helps to look after my son in the best way possible. We, as parents, can put so much pressure on ourselves. I’m trying to remind myself that each child is different and shines in their own way. I’m grateful to have a happy and healthy child. And for that, I am happy too.

    Over the last few months, I’ve had a real eye opener on how parenthood changes your life forever. It’s not easy but it’s worth it and I’ll do it all again. Throughout the highs and lows, it’s important not to neglect your marriage, self-care, and your mind.

    In today’s world, I think a reminder needs to sent that, looking after mental health, helps to look after your children. Children learn by example, and by prioritising self-care, seeking support when needed, and having honest conversations, parents model important life skills that empower their children to navigate their own emotional landscapes and show there’s always a safe place for them to be.

    By acknowledging the importance of parental mental health and taking the steps to manage it, the world of parenthood could be a more compassionate and supportive place.

  • Embracing the Brighter Side of Motherhood

    Embracing the Brighter Side of Motherhood

    I read a sign the other day that said:

    You are enough. Keep going.

    It got me thinking about my worth as a person – a mum, wife, friend etc. I want to practice self-love more. I find it so easy to look in the mirror and notice a flaw or put myself into a ‘mode’, telling myself I could’ve done something better/differently.

    I read so many posts on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook related to motherhood. You might have seen them to… your child doesn’t care how you look, how tidy the house is, or if you’ve messed up etc. they care about love. All the cuddles, giggles, new firsts and shared experiences help me more than he knows. Since being a mum to Freddy, a lot of things in life have been put into perspective. Friendships, work life, priorities, the list goes on. And the truth is, how Freddy sees me is the most important part. I don’t want him to see a constantly worried, stressed, or tired mum. Obviously I’m some or all those things at times. But I know that he needs to see happy mummy, to be his safe place, and someone he can count on.

    Looking for the positives in tough situations can be hard. Take the other week for example, Freddy was covered in chickenpox. He wasn’t too bad in himself but was obviously confused as a two year old what was going on. The itchiness, spots, and tiredness combined suddenly hit and he didn’t understand. But out of that situation brought something good. He used the potty for the first time and a few times more. He hasn’t shown much of an interest since but it’s a start.

    The three of us (me, his dad, and Freddy) had a lack of sleep and energy. Yet, Freddy still continued to do something to put a smile on our face and bring the light back. So, that was a reminder, whenever I get through something, no matter how big or small, I am capable and better days will come.

    A lot of how I feel is often down to not believing in myself. As important as my role is as a wife, daughter, friend etc. for me, it all comes down to being a good mum. The days are long but time is short. I want to make the most of the small moments. Whether that be Freddy using the potty, clapping and shouting YAY when he’s happy, to watching him grow every day. Whenever I start to doubt myself, I am going to say “I’m Freddy’s mum and this the best gift and accomplishment combined.”

    I’ve been asked, quite a few times now, “Would you have another (child)?” To which I’ve answered “Yes! Definitely yes!” without hesitation. The tiredness and loss of my identity here and there will never overpower the love for a little person I’ve created. I’ll count my lucky stars if I’m ever blessed with another little boy or girl.

    Here’s to believing I can in a world consumed by what’s right and wrong in the media/social platforms/and other people, when it comes to being a mum. I might not always get everything else right but there’s one thing I’m certain of, loving my son unconditionally. He will always bring the brighter side of life out for me.