The Mama Perspective

Motherhood and Maternal Wellbeing

The voice behind the blog

Natasha is a mum of two little boys and the voice behind The Mama Perspective. Passionate about maternal mental health and self-care, she writes honestly about the highs, lows, and healing moments of motherhood.
  • What My Second Child Has Taught Me 

    What My Second Child Has Taught Me 

    When I had my first baby, I thought I had learned everything there was to know about motherhood. I’m taking about the sleepless nights, the feeds, the routines, the constant worrying. But then came Jack, my second child, my youngest son – and he’s shown me that there’s always more to learn.

    At 16 weeks old, he’s already taught me more than I ever expected. Not just about babies and how there’s never one the same as the other, but about myself.

    Letting go of perfection

    With my first, I felt like everything had to be just right – the perfect schedule, tracking feeds, the ideal routine. With Jack, I’ve learned that listening to his needs rather than other people, even some healthcare professionals, is better for both of us. I’m softer with myself this time. I try not to rush things so much and I’m kinda sad that time seems to be going even faster this time round. 

    Slowing down

    Jack has shown me the beauty in slowing down. Those quiet feeds in the middle of the day when it’s just us two, when the house is asleep and he’s lay beside me in his Moses basket – it’s like time pauses. I missed those moments the first time, always racing to get to the next thing. Now, I linger a bit more.

    Watching two brothers bond

    Watching Jack and Freddy together has been one of the best moments of this stage. The gentle touches, Freddy rocking Jack to sleep, the way Jack lights up when he hears Freddy’s voice it’s a kind of magic I didn’t expect. Freddy has surprised us quite a bit, he’s taken to the change of a new family member well and he loves to help with nappy changes, bottles etc. 

    My second born has taught me that I can do this again – that I am doing it. And maybe even doing it better, even if it’s not always easy. Every little hand (finger) hold fills my heart every day.

    Motherhood has a way of testing your confidence and self-esteem, but this time around, I’d like to believe those two have been a little kinder to me.

  • Mum Life: Surviving or Thriving?

    Mum Life: Surviving or Thriving?

    Are you a mum who’s trying to do it all? Everything that a mum does can often be overlooked. If we stopped doing everything, would it then be noticed more?

    I don’t think you can ever really pause when you’re a mum. There’s always something that needs to be done and if you’re like me – your mind runs overdrive making a mental note of everything to tick off for the day, week, or month!

    Right now, things are going pretty well as a mum to two boys. I’m still learning more about myself in this second postpartum period and it isn’t 100% easier but it’s better in certain ways. Though, there’s this expectation that “…because you’ve done it before” it’s better? It’s nicer in some ways, knowing how that each child is different – wanting to be comforted in their own way, different sleep patterns, and sleep schedules. But it’s not a walk in the park. It’s about consistency and trying your best.

    Luckily my 15 week old baby is a good sleeper. I probably shouldn’t have typed that as I’ll be cursed now. But on the whole, I manage to get a good night’s sleep and it’s cute when me, him, and his little brother wake up together in the mornings. And daddy too of course, but sometimes Freddy wants his spot in “mummy and daddy’s bed.” I’m reminding myself that one day he won’t to, so I’ll take his presence, so close, right now.

    More emotions

    The other night I cried, again. I’ve been having a few episodes recently where everything feels heavy. I can’t change what each day brings – that’s motherhood with two boys for you. But I know I can change how I react and know when it’s time to accept that I need some time to myself. The problem is wanting to take the break or getting stressed out about how one is even possible.

    Then my husband reminded me he’s here.

    Okay, obviously I know he’s here. But it was a reminder more in terms of letting him do more when he can. He works hard, he has more patience that me mostly when our four year old is a lot some days. But still, he doesn’t want to be pushed aside.

    I’ve told myself that I have to do things a certain way because if I don’t, Jack might not sleep well at night. In my head I think to myself “We’ve got a good thing going, what if change ruins it?”

    I’m talking the way he likes to go to sleep, the way he plays in the day, the way he looks when he wants his dummy, the way he holds my finger to know he’s safe. I don’t want to miss any of it. So, when someone tells me to take a break, half of me feels like I would break and that’s not me being dramatic.

    I’m a maternal mum, very much the type to give lots of love and cuddles but I’m also a real mum. I cry, I laugh, I get frustrated, I say sorry, I get tired, I can’t wait for my kids to go to sleep, then I stare at them once they do.

    Time to myself

    My “break” right now, is at the end of the day. When the house is sitting peacefully, everything’s been tidied and cleaned because I always say “Tidy house, tidy mind,” honestly it’s a thing!

    Maybe it should be more, I don’t know. But at the moment, there aren’t many ways around it.

    I’m going to the hairdressers this month for the first time in four months and I cannot wait. A bit of me time plus doing something that might make me feel better about how I look, will help me surely. Danny even said, “I’m not taking you to the hairdressers this weekend.” And I wasn’t even mad because straight away I knew he meant, “You can have a little walk to and from the bus stop, and little to music from your AirPods during the journey.”

    That might sound like nothing to some people, but for me, this mum right here – it means so much. And music always helps to relax me or make my mood more upbeat.

    So, yeah, it turns out I’m surviving and thriving depending on the day!

    Are you a mum who’s ever felt this way? What have you learned to do to help yourself?

  • 14 Weeks Postpartum: My Truths 

    14 Weeks Postpartum: My Truths 

    Week 14 (and a half) postpartum – how’s this week going? Honestly, I’ve been feeling a bit drained. I adore my two boys, of course I do. I’m happy that Freddy is starting his new class at school in reception, and Jack is as smiley as ever. But in reality, the truth, I’m struggling a bit this week. I think I’m still trying to find the balance. Having just survived the six week summer holidays, you’d think days like today would be a breeze. But I think everything’s just hit me at once, you know? 

    I’m allowing myself to feel how I feel. And in time, things will get better.

    Writing helps me to focus

    I don’t really know how to describe how I’m feeling. So what do I do when I can’t quite say it aloud? I write. Danny reminded me earlier that I need an outlet for when I’m feeling sad, stressed, worried, and even when I’m happy too because it’s important to have something that I can kinda escape in and enjoy. So, here I am writing away as the words come to my mind and typing them into this post.

    The past few days I’ve woken up, opened my eyes and thought, “It’s another day, here we go…” in nothing but a positive mindset. Yet, somehow, feelings get the better of me. I’m not entirely sure it’s one thing that triggers me but rather everything at once – needing to make sure everything’s done, the never ending list, loving and caring for my children and husband. Some might say not everything needs to done but for me, it does. I can’t leave mess all the time. I can’t leave washing to mount up. I did tree washes the other day and the next, it was full again. 

    In order to be the mum and wife that I want to be, I have to be organised. Yeah, I have the odd day when I’m less active and I know that’s okay. 

    Some days I have it altogether – mostly! I’ll be out and about, everything feels good, happy, free. And other days, I feel like I could fall apart. You see, that’s the thing about motherhood, you’re not supposed to have it together 24/7. How could you? You’re human. 

    Being there for my kids is what matters and some days if that means a few tears, back into my pyjamas, and being fuelled by coffee, so be it. I’ve never been one to glamorise motherhood. I love it, and it’s the best thing to ever happen to me but it isn’t the only part of me. 

    I have feelings just like anyone else and anyone who’s a mum understands the up and down battle it takes to be a mum.

    Reflecting on my first postpartum journey

    It’s funny – not in a “haha” way – that I felt similar to this around this time during postpartum after giving birth to Freddy too. And now with Jack, it’s like a reminder that just because it happened before doesn’t mean it can’t happen again. I am stronger but I’m also allowed to feel sad, frustrated, a little lost. I’m not pressuring myself to be the perfect mum or pretending to be in front of anyone or any social platform. That isn’t real life. It isn’t always easy but it’s the most heartwarming feeling for the most part. You’ll only understand that when you’ve felt it too. 

    Sometimes I want to be alone – not in a sad way- not in a worrying way – just time to be me without a baby needing my attention or four year old demanding snacks. And it can take sitting in pure quietness to feel my calm sometimes. 

    It’s almost the weekend and I’m hoping to feel a little more upbeat again. But for now, I’m taking things slow and listening to my body. Even though I’ve been feeling the way I have, I know I’m okay because I have my husband and my boys. And that’s something I’ll always hold on to. 

Anxiety Confidence Family Mental Health Mindset Motherhood Parenthood Parenting Positivity Postpartum Self Esteem Wellness